So, I was just recently diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder and, even though we've always kind of known that I have it, hearing a professional say it made it feel so different. My partner didn't know until yesterday - I've known for about a month - and their reaction was just as bad as I was expecting. When I told them I had OCD, she thought it was the, like, constantly needing things to be perfect kind, but when I told her it was mainly really bad thoughts she was confused and doubted that I even had OCD. She thought I was making it up, and when I told her about the thoughts I've been having in detail - {trigger warning} disgusting thoughts about acting out murderous sexual fantasies, cutting people open and having sex with the gash, that kind of thing... - along with a bunch of other things that came with it, and she seemed horrified. I expected her to be, but the way she reacted was just so...disgusted? And she doesn't believe I have OCD, so she thinks I would actually do these things - WHICH I WOULD NOT, these thoughts disgust me just as much - and I just don't know what to do. She hasn't officially broken up with me yet but she hasn't come home since she's left yesterday. I'm getting put on medication soon, hopefully, but that's too far away. By the time I'm able to control these thoughts, I'm afraid she'll have left me. Does anyone have any idea as to how I should explain that this is real and I can't control it..? Please?