Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Support Group

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric disorder, more specifically, an anxiety disorder. OCD is manifested in a variety of forms, but is most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive (repetitive, distressing, intrusive) thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or rituals) which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.

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wildflowers44 02/23/2015

I am having a horrible time with OCD. The thoughts have taken over my life. Never before has it been this bad. I cannot eat and my weight has dropped pretty low, and I can't sleep anymore. I wake up so early in the morning, almost in a panic, and cannot get back to sleep.

My latest obsession and compulsions have driven me to spend money, money I don't even have, but I am compelled to buy these things to make me feel better (of course, giving into the compulsions never fixes it because a new fear always takes its place).

My family is so upset with me. I have dragged everyone into my obsessions, and my mom is my only support and I am wearing her down. I feel like such a burden and feel so guilty for all I have done, but I cannot stop. The fear is so strong.

I seriously cannot take this any longer. I have had OCD since I was 6 years old. I am 23 now and things are only getting worse. I am too young to feel so tired of life, but that is where I am. I am just tired, tired of living, tired of everything. I am so sick.

valgal18 02/23/2015

i'm sorry that you're struggling.....are you on any medication for your OCD??? the medication that i'm in the called luvox....that helps me a lot.....my therapist also told me to try and challenge the less intense OCD tendencies that i have.....i have this counting compulsion and it's a new compulsion so she told me to challenge that.....maybe when the compulsion to spend money comes up you can challenge that...drive past the store and go wherever to were supposed to go....maybe since spring is coming up you could try gardening?? planting seeds and flowers or a vegetable garden if you have room??? i hope this helped....if you wanna talk, please feel free to message me

larry12 02/23/2015

It WILL get better I promise. I have been where you are and it is a very dark and lonely place. Just know there are many people going through similar ocd cases. Talk to your GP and arrange cbt and medication. You will get through it honestly. I have actually been so low it felt like my life was over on several occasions, the more it happens the more insight you gain. X

Razor91 02/23/2015

Have you tried therapy? I found therapy amazing when I was suffering. I still am, so I've made a load of posters with sayings and put them up all over my room to calm me down. The one that helps the most is 'It's not real', I will repeat it over and over again and eventually realize that it's all in my head.

wildflowers44 02/24/2015

Thank you all so much for your responses.

I think for me, my OCD reaches a point where I feel so exhausted that I just want to say "Who cares?" and give up the obsession and just place my worries in God's hands. But for some reason, I have such a hard time doing that.

larry - it's good to know that it's possible to come out of a dark place. Thank you for sharing your experience with me. Did you do CBT and try medication, and if so, did you find it helpful? Which was more helpful to you, or did you find a combination most beneficial?

Razor - I love your idea of putting up posters with sayings. I am big on affirmations and quotes. That is a wonderful idea. Thank you :)

larry12 02/27/2015

I have been on fluoxetine for about 8 years and olanzapine for a year. They generally work well together but I still worry alot. I will be starting CBT very soon. My problem is drinking too much alcohol occasionally which doesn't help OCD.

wildflowers44 03/01/2015

Larry - It's good to hear you found a med combo that works relatively well. That's great about the CBT - research shows that meds + CBT is the most effective treatment for OCD, long term. I really hope it helps you.

tjmags437 03/02/2015

Hang in there...it is exhausting.
Different things work for different people, but know that you aren't alone and that you can feel better. I spent a number of sessions with a good CBT therapist and am staying on my medication - sertraline.
Acknowledge the feelings, define them as your OCD. Don't let them define you.
Peace

LisaLoo2 03/04/2015

Wildflower, you are definitely not alone. I have OCD plus a bad chronic pain problem and I have felt like a burden on my friend who is supporting me. Just know that even though money is important, in the larger scheme of things, your well-being is more important than even a million dollars, especially to your mother. When you are better one day, the money your family has spent will feel like a small price to pay for your health and happiness. Also, parents are supposed to anticipate that at least one of their children will have a health problem at some point; it's part of making a family and they know they have a responsibility since they chose to bring you into this world.

Btw, I have found that concentrating on relaxing and taking slow breaths has been helpful. And when I have an especially unbearable OCD night, I take a pill to knock me out. Valium does the trick for me. I know we will both get better from this. There are so many treatments to try.

wildflowers44 03/04/2015

tjmags437 - It sounds like you have found some ways to cope with the OCD...I am so happy to hear that. Thank you for your support and for the reminder to acknowledge my feelings and define them as OCD. I think all too often, I start battling with myself over the thoughts, and I definitely have trouble distinguishing OCD thoughts from logical thoughts much of the time.

LisaLoo2 - Thank you so much for your support and for reminding me that I am not a burden. I think it's wonderful you have a friend who supports you, and I know for certain he/she cares about you.

The breathing is a great idea. I definitely tend to hold in my breath when I am anxious. I will try some relaxation/breathing techniques and see if that helps. I also do have clonazepam, and occasionally take one when I cannot calm down. Problem is, they knock me out (this is a bad thing if I have to function that day).

gJerry 03/05/2015

OCD can create havoc in our minds. There is a way through this. We have to keep fighting all the time. The first thing I do is to tackle the fear and anxiety. For that I need good sleep and for that I ask a doc to help. When I'm rested and more relaxed I try and find the source of my fear and anxiety. If I can't..I go and talk to my psychologist or therapist, just to hear his view. Try to stay positive and you'll see, it's going to be OK. It feels bad when it's bad but it feels so much better if you stand stronger when you're through the fire. J

wildflowers44 03/06/2015

gJerry - Thank you so much for your encouragement.

I agree that fighting the obsessions is much easier with a well-rested body and brain. If you don't mind me asking, what do you mean when you say you've gotten help with being well-rested from your doc? I am wondering if you have tried any kind of medication for sleep, or if you have found any other methods to help you get a good night's rest. As I mentioned, I have these early-morning awakenings where I wake up at 3:30/4 and cannot get back to sleep. No matter what I try, I cannot prevent myself from waking up so early.

gJerry 03/07/2015

Hi

I do take medication to let me sleep. Here the can only give it for 10 days. I use them to get enough rest. If I'm rested I feel better emotionally to tackle the ocd head on. Less sleep makes the ocd worse. If I know it's the anxiety keeping me awake, I try to relax by listening to music and meditate or paint something. Just to let my mind rest a bit. For me, I always try and heal myself first and when I realize I need help I talk to my doc. For a very long time I was fighting too hard and it just made the ocd worse. My biggest breakthrough came with me accepting the ocd and making peace with the ocd Jerry and the real Jerry. Keeping the balance to let the ocd be second in charge made me so much stronger. J

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