MS can have an impact on your ability to orgasm. But talk to him. Let him know it isn't his performance and that your intimacy is important to you. Let him know that even if the symptoms afterward come out that its worth it to you. My husband and I have those kind of issues too. I used to get horrible spasms where my hands would clench to the point where my nails would cut into my palms. We realized that during sex those became more frequent. He's been wonderful and patient and together we've found ways to maintain intimacy and minimize the MS symptoms after. For us it was a trial and error. I'm sure it was frustrating for him at times and still is for that matter. The biggest thing I can stress is let him know what your feeling. Let him know your fears and frustration. Figure out together how to get the intimacy thing to work for you. Above all, listen to your body and don't go crazy over it. The more you beat yourself up, the harder it will be to enjoy your partner. Hope this helps.

the constant spasticity in my groin area has just about done me in with my boyfriend, so i could really identify with you here. I am the problem but his ego cant seem to handle it. I assure him that its not him and that i have had maybe 3 orgasms with a partner in my 50+ years. He has decided to see others now because he feels incompetent with me. But you knowwhat? I dont really care. I hope your relationship is stronger than mine was' Sex is not every thing and the time may come that his health issues will affect him, how we he feel then? My crotch is too numb to think now. I would love to meet a man who doesn't think with his crotch. I wish you the best.

I am so sorry for your problem. Are you by any chance taking one of the SSRI antidepressants? THey make orgasm (blush...) almost impossible to reach. If this is a problem of the wrong antidepressant, you can change to a more effective one for MS and also without sexual side effects. Talk to your doc.

MS has had an almost overwelming effect on our sex life but my hubby is so very patient & understanding that it has not impacted our life too much.

It is "trial & error' as pierceen said..... But if your boyfriend cannot understand that.... hhuummmmmm
I dont NEED an orgasm each & every time I am trying to be intimate with my husband but I am always glad when he can!! Good enough for me!! hahaha

Hope things work out for you.
Take Care,
-J

One of my friends asked me that question a couple of days ago. It doesn't bother me but she says her symptoms get worse. I just am never in the mood that is my prob. Maybe try some kind of sex enhancer gel or something. You can get it at Walmart. It is called astroglide. Or just get good at "faking it". I can't believe I am being open about this cause I usually can't. Good luck hope this helped.

Maybe the sex act itself is impacting your spine or causing your blood pressure to go up? They are finding a link between circulation problems in the nervous system and MS. Also, if you are in a flare, moving the spine might irritate it.

Maybe you should invest in some equipment so that you can get in a position that you enjoy where you dont have to move too much.

Maybe some aids (vibrator etc) would be helpful? If you can work it into your sex routine it might be fun sine he can use them on you and then you don't have to be as stressed because your body isn't responding as you would like it to.

I TRY to satisfy my husband's needs. However....I have NO drive/want/need, whatsoever, concerning myself. Is it him? Of course not. I think my nerve endings must be permanetly damaged. I take a bath, and my husband will tell me how unbelievably HOT the water is, and I come out with my skin looking like I just got a sunburn. Yet...it's not really hot to me. So I wonder if I could've BURNED some nerves off too! I have no idea and it's very frustrating, but. Vibraters, I've tried. IF I do, on the very RARE ocassion, have an orgasm, it's come and gone as quick as a wink, and the intensity is almost null.

I notice that during/after sex, I have weakness in my arms....and I just feel kinda limp all over.

I try not to let it affect us but I can no longer be in certain positions where I use my legs a lot cuz I have no more strength my stamina is not there n my leg pain starts to acts up..he's understanding but geez! Up till what point? Two years together so far..I try to keep hime satisfied but I feel like I'm not 100% doing that..uugghhhh!

This is a good case in point as to how differently Ms affects us all.
I cannot relate to this at all and fortunately for me (and him!) I find that sex and especially orgasm has a very beneficial effect.....

I would have to agree with Orsova........ crazy, but things have improved with MS and intimacy! Even hard for me to believe, but true.

Print your entry, and all these responses out, and sit down with him and talk about it. Allow him a chance to see that you two are not alone in this.

Even without MS, there are many women who can't orgasm, or don't feel well after sex. It's not him, OR you...it's just the way it is.

I hope that by giving him an opportunity to see if from other people's point of view, it will help some.

They have done some studies with sex hormones and MS. Some who have been put on estrogen/progesterone or testosterone have been helped. (See research links below)

It could be the MS and lack of nerve sensation, true.
However, it might be you are low on progesterone and or testosterone and when you have sex you might be stimulated to make more output hormone with not enough right input raw materials. Maybe talk to an endocrinologist that uses bio-identical hormones to treat SYMPTOMS + lower normal ranges (NOT an endo that will only treat bottom 2.5% of population ranges). Then get tested for sex hormones(progesterone, estrogen, free testosterone) and thyroid.

I know some with MS who have taken sex hormones that have greatly increased their number of orgasms. This is an anonymous site though so I will not name anyone.

Like I said it maybe the nerves with MS...but if you haven't looked at hormones with a doc that treats symptoms then why not at least look at this.

Best wishes,
EP
-----------research-----------
http://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/news/article/8978
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/441856
http://www.neurologyreviews.com/nov02/nr_nov02_estriol.html

http://www.msrcny.org/pdfs/Testosterone_in_MS.pdf
men that were low in testosterone 4 were stable and 8 progressive. However, the normal testosterone group of MS men (higher level) had 10 that were stable and 6 were progressive. So more testosterone had more stable MS associated with it than low. Plus in the conclusions it says " In patients with LOW hormone levels, a relationship with INCREASED disease activity was seen."

** Voskuhl R.R., Sicotte N.L., Liva S.M., Klutch R., Pfeiffer P., Bouvier S., Odesa S., Jackson Wu. (2002). Treatment of multiple sclerosis with the pregnancy hormone estriol. Annals of Neurology. Vol 52(4): 421-428

** Sicotte NL, Giesser BS, Tandon V, Klutch R, Steiner B, Drain AE, Shattuck DW, Hull L, Wang HJ, Elashoff RM, Swerdloff RS, Voskuhl RR. Testosterone treatment in multiple sclerosis: a pilot study. Arch Neurology 2007; 64(5): 683-8.

** Soldan SS, Retuerto AI, Sicotte NL, Voskuhl RR. Immune modulation in multiple sclerosis patients treated with the pregnancy hormone estriol. Journal of Immunology. 2003; 171(11): 6267-74

more research to look at if you are interested

Research on how sex hormones affect MS

1.) http://ms-drugs-in-development.blog...
Research on how sex hormones are helping memory in those with MS

2.) http://www.msrc.co.uk/index.cfm/fus...
small study on reduction in the loss of brain volume with hormone therapy in those with MS

3.) http://nro.sagepub.com/content/7/3/...
Sex Hormones in Experimental Autoimmune Encephalomyelitis: Implications for Multiple Sclerosis
"The decrease in disease severity during late pregnancy appears to be due at least in part to high levels of estriol, which characterize this time period. "

4.) http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/...
Pilot study of testosterone in men with RRMS
RESULTS: One year of treatment with testosterone gel was associated with improvement in cognitive performance (P = .008) and a slowing of brain atrophy (P