when I was dating. the way I handled it was like this..............first date was to have a good time, get to know the person, and see if your compatible, (in other words), NO, I didn't tell them. IF, there was a second date, (this would mean we were going someplace). then it became time to have a serious talk about serious matters. (then I would tell them). Not to worry, I never had a woman Dump me, when she heard I had M/S. Women, say men run, but Ive never had a woman run.

That's really good to hear because I have serious reservation about telling girls that I have MS.

I did alot of internet dating back in 2000-2003, and never had issue with any woman, about my m/s. I learned that we all have alot of health problems, they all seemed to come back at me about their health issues. LOL. My point is, I wouldn't let it bother you. Having m/s, and having to tell the women about it

This is a serious issue for me because of this disease. And because my ex-wife squandered all of my money and left me penniless; I lost my house and my job. In addition, I have three young children ages 8, 6, and 5; I am also an older parent, age 43, while my ex-wife is nine years younger than me.

I have to re-start life so you guys are very good inspiration for me in that I am not alone.

If anyone else has a story and would like to share his/her experience, please do so. We will all benefit. Thanks.

I am interested in dating as well. The problem with me is that my MS is obvious so there is no hiding it. I walk with a cane. Say you are in a group of people sitting around. And then the moment you get up or tell them you have MS, there is a distance that people pull away from you. I feel it. I know that there are people who don't care about disabilities and don't discriminate but they are few and far between. The thing is, people discount me because of my MS and other people end up having a lot worse things later on. It is so ironic. I know that there are people who don't care. Finding them and having chemistry with them is hard for me.

Anyway, I don't have much expectation due to the way i have been treated in the past. But I have hope and I have started to get out there. But it is hard. Thanks for bringing up the topic and I am happy for you that the women you are involved with are fine with your MS. I am happy for you. Keep us posted with your dating experiences. It certainly helps others. Thanks for the topic.

i met my second husband through a childhood friend. we first started talking over the internet. (sounds like a bad idea, right?)

after our relationship went on for about a month and i seen he was serious, i told him. at first, he didn't have any idea what ms even was. i tried my best to explain it to him.

i didn't want him to be surprised when we first met in person. i was on a walker then. if he was surprised at all, he didn't show it.

he completely understands, even when he may not completely understand. if that makes sense. he does everything to help me. he never complains or laughs at me.

i guess that's one of those rare loves. i don't know.

my first husband spent all of my money and made me feel like a burden. not to mention a lot of other things he done.

This is tricky for sure. Although I have not dated since being dx with MS I see where it can be an issue. So my advice is this....

I wouldn't wait pass the second date. If you made it pass the first then apparently there is some reaso why you have a second. Second date does not mean marriage by no means but honesty will get you a third, fourth and so on. Starting a relationship of any kind out on secrets, little white lies or not the while truth is not good anyway. Doesn't mean you need to go in detail about the disease in the second date but it does need to be brought up. After all it's better to know at the second date that someone can't handle it, then waiting till your five yrs into the relationship. Right?

Anyways, if they can't accept you for who you are then do you really want them? Remember you have MS... MS DOESN'T have you!

Best of luck guys!
Christysms

This is hitting very close to home.

Two years after my husband died, I met a man and we've been together twelve years, with separate residences. I was dxd 3 1/2 years ago, so we were well into the relationship. By last summer it was platonic, we'd go places together but no sex, but it wasn't about the MS.

Last summer I was dating two men, I told each on the second date, it didn't matter to either one of them. Then, a couple of weeks ago, I read a profile online where the man revealed his MS in his profile. By our second phone conversation I asked about whether he was taking Baclofen, Betaseron, or what, and then told him about me. He gave me the perfect opening. So refreshing, to find someone who really, really gets it. He's made adaptations, as have I. And we really like each other.

We've been out twice, and have two more dates lined up.

Meanwhile, my bf of 12 years suddenly developed serious health problems and has applied for both Worker's Comp and SSDI. He's adapting well. He doesn't know about the new man; new man knows about him.

Now I am in the position where I need to decide whether or not to stay with my bf (safe and comfortable) or move on to new and exciting. Talk about guilt!

Anyway, I would say reveal your MS by the second or third date if it looks like things are going to progress. If that scares him/her off, you don't want that person anyway.

i waited about 3 months. i didnt really regret waiting to tell my boyfriend, because i originally figured it wouldn't last very long anyways. we became really good friends throughout dating, i didn't really have any expectations, at the time i had ms for 4 years, so it wasn't a shock or anything.

i was verrrry scared when i told my bf about having ms, ever since (so like a year and a half) i've been basically throwing horrible scenarios at him, because if he can't handle it, i don't want to make him feel like he's obligated to try.

probably about a month ago, we were watching tv and out of the blue he said something like - if you ever have any big problems, ill make sure you're comfortable and i'll help you so we can go out to dinner sometimes.

it's definitely possible to find someone despite having ms, and relationships break down for tons more reasons besides disease. i'd wait until the relationship is serious, only because you'll really want what's best for the other person, but some girls might be like "omg whyyy didnt you tell meeee" so that might be a reason to tell earlier lol

i'd say it totally depends on the situation how you should tell someone

Let's see. I never told my dates about my MS. It was completely invisible for years. Back in 2004, I went on a date where I got up to go to the bathroom 3 times during our dinner. Obviously, he was worth my time. In 2006, I met my fiance whom I told about my MS right away. He was wonderful about it. He even took me to MRI and doctor's appointments. Sadly, he passed away in February of 2009. I hope to find someone as wonderful as he was at some point.

I was in a committed but long distance relationship when I was dx. I rang him and his first response still makes me emotional. He said 'You better come and live with me'

We renovated his house so it would be easier for me to move around and he moved his work to home so he'd be around to keep an eye on me.

He's a man in a million!

I think it depends if you are just wanting to date a friend for fun or if you are looking someone for a possible life time relationship.

If you tell on the second date, you at least have that out of the way and you would no longer have it hanging over your head. Then you can just concentrate on dating.

This is a scary subject for me, and something new Ive had to think about lately. I'm almost 47 and fairly recently divorced (last September). Many people I know think I should just accept my life as a divorced woman and not worry about dating again. But personally, I have no desire to spend the rest of my life alone.
I enjoy male companionship and yes, I enjoy sex, so why would I totally give that up at my age? Its not like Im old yet!!!!
Like Esther said, my problems are pretty obvious most of the time so its not something I can hide real well, so I think for me personally I would bring it up right away.
My opinion is that this,..when you decide to share that you have MS should be based on how the MonSter is effecting your life and what kind of relationship you are looking for.

Best of luck!
Lisa

What if the symptoms are not so obvious, though? I just don't know when is the best time to bring something like this up. I have noticed that even bringing this up to a friend changes the way he/she treats me.