Multiple Sclerosis (MS) Support Group
This community is a place where members can discuss current events and weigh in on what's going on in the world.
My boyfriend isn't very supportive or compassionate when it comes to my MS. He had a kidney transplant a few years ago, and has dealt with a lot of health issues during his lifetime, so I believe that is why. Last night I mentioned something to him about the fact that he hasn't asked me all week how I'm feeling, or showed any concern towards me. He got very angry and denied it...said that I'm CRAZY. I think I would definitely remember if he had said anything to me, since I know a few occasions this week that I've mumbled "Sure, I'm great thanks!" after asking him how he was feeling and not getting anything in return.
But the crazy thing has really pushed me over the edge. I have a lot of cognitive problems and his whole statement about me being crazy made me actually sit and doubt myself. AM I crazy? Am I losing my mind? Overreacting? It's scaring me. I'm afraid I'm worse than I thought.
I hate not having any support. Sometimes you just need someone to lean on, and I feel like I don't have him for that. Anyone else going through something similar?
But the crazy thing has really pushed me over the edge. I have a lot of cognitive problems and his whole statement about me being crazy made me actually sit and doubt myself. AM I crazy? Am I losing my mind? Overreacting? It's scaring me. I'm afraid I'm worse than I thought.
I hate not having any support. Sometimes you just need someone to lean on, and I feel like I don't have him for that. Anyone else going through something similar?
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
You are not crazy! Women remember things like this when everything else fails.
I'm sorry you do not have the support you need. I have a wonderful long time friend (we've been friends since I was 12) that tries to be supportive of me. She goes to all my doctors appts with me and on her days off comes over for a visit and tries to keep me active. I know she doesn't 'get' what is going on with me... heck I don't 'get' it either but she tries and that is all I can ask.
I wish you the best with your boyfriend. Maybe both of our men will open their eyes some day.
The sad fact is likely to be that while he may care 'for' you, it sounds pretty much like he doesn't really care very much 'about' you, your health, state of mind or feelings.
Ask yourself is this what you need/want in and from a relationship while you're still yound and healthy enough to change it if it isn't.
I'm here for you and I know its not the same as having a human being there but if you need to talk and vent this is the place to do so.
Keep your head up!
@Lisa - I am in the same exact situation! When it comes to him, he can talk for hours about everything that is ailing him, work, etc...but I don't get the same type of respect. If I do start to talk, he interrupts me constantly to talk about something unrelated, so most of the time I just don't bother. I feel just not important enough I guess.
@Alexana - The sad thing is, my ex-husband was the same way with me, but not AS bad. He's changed a lot over the years and we've remained the best of friends. To be honest, I think he's more helpful and supportive than my boyfriend is...and I thought I got a good one! It's amazing how I had such a great relationship before I got sick. Now it just seems like a competition...the whole who's sicker thing. Thank you for your comment. It's nice to hear that I'm not as crazy as he made me think!
"Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option."
Ask yourself why you're attracted to toxic men and relationships, it certainly isn't doing your MS any good. Neglect is a form of abuse, that includes emotional neglect. Are you of the belief that half a bag of shit is better than an empty bag?
You are too good for this rubbish. Ask yourself what you're REALLY getting out of this relationship and is there more you're not getting then you are. Do NOT make the mistake of staying in a toxic relationship while you still have the physical ability to get out and start afresh..next time with a different type of character than this guy or your ex husband's.
Is it possible that he still perceives you as "Meg my girlfriend," rather than as "Meg my girlfriend with MS"? I don't know how long ago you were dxd, or if your symptoms are very visible.
I certainly don't want anyone's first thought when they see me to be, "Oh, she has MS." That's the reason I haven't "come out" to very many people besides my large extended family.
So maybe his not constantly asking, is because he sees you as his girlfriend, and not as a person with MS.
And as a guy, I do ask my wife about her health, etc. We are a team, with her being the star player.
This may sound selfish, but it is reality. If she is sick or out of commission, who is going to do the more physical tasks? So it is in mine and her best interest to keep her healthy as well.
my Neurologist know of any changes. It's a partnership. When we go to my Neurologist, the Neurologist will ask me how things are going then do all the tests to see if changes or not. Then ask my wife if I'm telling her everything. When my wife goes to her Doctors, sometimes I go sometimes I don't. But being in a wheel chair some of those Doctors offices aren't easy to get into with a wheel chair. It can be difficult at times, but we're in this marriage together.