Multiple Personalities Support Group
Dissociative identity disorder is a diagnosis described as the existence in an individual of two or more distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. At least two of these personalities are considered to routinely take control of the individual's behavior, and there is also some associated memory loss,...
My family will never except me for me... They see who they want to see but who they see will never be me... I honestly don't know who i am...I look at my freshman pictures and i ask myself who is that girl and where has she gone. My life has been full of pain and abuse. I guess it's time to teach myself that i can't be switching and the best way is to punish.. I don't need them to protect me i can protect myself ....:( so no more i'm done
In the beginning, I was terrified when she revealed herself and the memories of abuse she had been holding for so long.I was afraid of her violence and retaliation i could feel in her but by listening to her and accepting her, a flow of love and compassion entered my life and in fact lifted up a great trauma from me.
As I started "melting" my resistances, more hidden memories started emerging in the form of other parts, some of them challenging.I had to keep in mind they are all parts of my own psyche and all come from my hurt child's split experiences.
I have learnt to protect myself from putting myself in situations and people which might revictimize myself and cause me to dissociate.I was not aware of that in my youth and could not distinguish predators who, them, could see I was an easy prey and would make me switch under the influence of alcool or weed to abuse me, or just by sending me in a transe in order to abuse me.
I also have learnt to accept the existence of alters who , out of terror, had internalized my abusers, always remembering that in reality, they are scared kids .
My terror and pain is slowly transforming into joy and relief.Do not be afraid.only what you can handle will show.
Big hugs.