Hello. I just found this group after searching online for support. On December 26, 2019 I lost my mom. 

My mom survived oral cancer about ten years ago. She had major surgery wherein the doctor cracked open her jaw, removed part of her tongue, and grafted part of the skin on her arm onto her tongue. 

She then went through radiation only to have her jaw bone die. Part of her leg was grafted into her jaw at that point. She'd been cancer free ever since. 

In the past few months, she had gotten pneumonia a few times. She'd go to the hospital, and they'd make her better. The Saturday before Christmas, she fell ill again and couldn't breathe well. 

We took her to the hospital the following day, but by Monday we were being told she would die. We briefly thought she was getting better on Tuesday and Christmas Day, Wednesday. By Thursday morning I got the call to rush to the hospital because she was going to die. 

I held her hand as she stopped breathing. Ever since I've been a mess. I can't seem to pull it together. 

My mom was more of a second parent to my kids than my husband is. We were raising them together. I live in the neighborhood next to hers, and she dropped my kids off and picked them up from Kindergarten daily. 

Now I'm left with the most gaping hole in my heart, and I don't know what to do. Our relationship was beyond close. She was everything to me. 

Can someone please help me?