I understand your feelings with the holidays and meeting your new baby of the family. I lost our baby boy Sept. 7th. I am already struggling with the holidays and those with babies on the way from time to time. I have a close cousin who is due with a boy the day my baby boy would have been born. I have no idea how I'll handle it when I meet him one day. With babies around me I have found some do not affect me in that way at all, and others do. Take it a moment at a time and each situation one at a time. Some will be easier than others. I am preparing myself for that as well. Its crazy the things that will set me off emotionally and other things I thought would don't...give yourself freedom to grieve the loss of your sweet one. Having two others you already know how much you would have loved your Angel too. Hopefully they can be a joyful distraction for you during the holiday season. Praying you get through it better than you expected.

Thank you. Sorry for your lose too. I thought that I would be ok but I guess with family members asking me about the baby, they didnt know I MC, got me thinking about what happened. I have friends that I talk to about it some times but I dont want to tell them everything because I dont want to scare them because they are pregnant and I know they dont know what to say to me either. I think about Angel everyday and wonder if it was a boy or a girl, I was 7weeks and 3 days along, and if Angel would have looked more like me or my boyfriend. But i know Angel is with my grandmothers, my boyfriends dad, my third grandfather, my grandfathe, my moms dad and more family members looking down at us and watching us everyday and waiting for me to join them. But its still hard when i see babies or see pregnant women out and about. My boyfriend hasnt really talked about it much and i dont know if that is his way or healing but some times i feel like he has moved on and it dont matter to him like it matters to me. I am trying my best to stay strong for my boys and they keep me busy and so does my school work and my crafts I am doing but there at times that i am not doing something and my mind wonders and thats when it gets me. Its not that I have any thing against my little cousin (his not really mine but he is my boyfriends uncles son) but I dont want to get there, go to hold him and just lose it and take off running outside and freak everyone out that is there. But I am going to try everyday to be stronger and just keep taking one step at a time each and everyday.

I am so soory to hear that you lost you baby.

I would definitely tell family about the miscarriage so they may understand if you aren't as happy as the others about meeting the newest member of your family. The good news is, the baby will never remember meeting you and your reaction this Christmas and others in your family should be understanding.

As far as your boyfriend's grieving process goes, men grieve differently than women, and he may have an easier time getting through the process than you will, but it doesn't mean he cares less. Also you need to consider that he probably feels like he needs to be strong to support you and to help you through your grieving process. Try not to blame him for not caring. Allow him to feel however he is feeling because you are going to want him to be okay with you feeling however you are feeling. He'll want to be able to make you feel better, to "get over it", or whatever, because men are wired to fix things. But this isn't something he can fix or rush. Trust me, you will still be mourning next October. I've just passed my anniversary date of my miscarriage and it was difficult. My husband and I didn't make it but I was able to talk to him recently and it helped. I hope that you both can be understanding of each other, and that your family will be understanding as well.

I had friends and co-workers that were pregnant at the same time as me and I couldn't be happy for them at the time. I got laid-off in April so I didn't have to be around them anymore. I am still friends with one of them on facebook and I'm just now able to see pictures of her daughter and not have negative thoughts. I don't know how to advise you about your friends. But you need to be selfish right now and do what you need to do to get through this process, function as best as you can in your daily life, and be upfront and honest with people about your feelings and what you need. If they truly are your friends, they will understand and be there for you in the way that you need right now.

I am sorry for your loss. Do your children know about the miscarriage? It's amazing how children accept the news. I know several people that told their children and they are a great comfort to them. They are very proud to tell other children about their brothers or sisters in heaven. And it makes celebrating heavenly birthdays, would-be due dates, or whatever date you choose easier when you can include the whole family. I do pray that your close friends and family will be supportive to you.