Hi Plumgirl,
I haven't quite figured out a pattern and I have yet to find a great therapist.. so you have a grear advantage!
I was informed by 2 drs that during this phase hormones are fluctuating so much that it reads differently so much that you can't go on those tests. Mostly just symptoms. And everyone is different as they say.. I'm having a difficult time. No period for 6 months then 2 in one month last month...
take care..

I have been having a lot of anxiety, panic attacks and depression. I've just discovered the connection to perimenopause and menopause. It kind of helps to know that but only a little. I guess every bit helps!

Thanks ladies for your replies. It's good to know we are not alone. I think I am going to have to consider terminating my relationship with coffee--at least the days I don't work. I can feel it fuels my angst and probably doesn't help my insomnia. Anything you have found to be helpful lately?

Hi plumgirl,

I used to consume quite a lot of coffee and it effected me the same way. I now limit my coffee intake to 1 or 2 cups a day. I replace it with Camomile tea which I find helps as it has some kind of calming effect. I didn't like it much at first then after a few weeks I found myself drinking less coffee and more of the Camomile tea. Actually like it now. Hope this helps you too. All the best.

I don't get depressed but I have had a slightly racing heart. Been in meno for years due to hysterectomy but I quit the estrogen patches about a year ago. I didn't know about the connection between the hormones and the way I feel other than the hot flashes and mood swings. Mood swings were horrible but have let up for the most part.
Reading these posts have helped me. Went to a nurse last year who wanted to give me all sorts of psyco pills. Got a new dr!! He said I was fine.
Thanks so for the info.

You're not alone, Plumgirl! I, too, was plagued by panic attacks, days or weeks of deep, dark depression, and doomsday thoughts would appear in my head out of nowhere ("What if my husband and child came and found me in the living room with a bullet in my head from a drive-by shooting?") and I would never think such a thing normally!
Definitely, get your hormones levels checked. (Why, given your age and that you are experiencing changes in your periods, would you doctor NOT check your levels?) If you are in perimenopause- and it sounds to me like you are, you need to know it.
My perimenopause lasted 8 years, and while I officially went into menopause 1 year ago (technically, you are in menopause when you haven't had a period for over a year), I still experience flare-ups.
You're keeping a record, so that's great. The pattern may change, and/or you might start experiencing other symptoms...keep track of everything.
On your good days, get stuff done, and put flowers all over your house. Also keep a pile of music and movies that make you feel good.
Above all, ALLOW yourself to not be Superwoman, Ultra Wife, and Uber Mom. When I woke up and I knew I was going to have a bad day, I would immediately tell the husband and the kid that I was menopausal. This meant that Martha Stewart, Julia Child, and Linda Lovelace have left the building, and they would just have to deal with meals and laundry on their own, until I felt better.
Your supports will help you immensely, and you're lucky to have them (I didn't have anyone but my husband, and I know that this made my process lots worse than it should have been). When you have a good day, make sure to thank them for being there on your bad days.
Anyway, good luck to you!!

Oh, I forgot...helpful books are:

The Wisdom of Menopause by Christiane Northrup, MD
Menopause Without Medicine by Linda Ojeda,PhD
The New Menopause Book by Mary Tagliaferri,MD
The Mad Woman in the Volvo by Sandra Tsing Loh, regular person

Thanks everyone for the great suggestions. I am trying to take care of myself and seeing a doctor this week. I like Dr. Northrup and haven't read these books so I am ordering.

thank you for the list of books. I ordered the one Menopause without medicine.

Hi. I feel for you all. I started menopause at 40 & never had the chance to have a baby. I often feel my like is over. No one seems to understand. I have panic attacks & alot of crying at night. My partner says he understands but how could he. Just today I had a flood of bleeding out of nowhere. Then pain for the rest of the day. Can't stop crying either. Pls anyone out there just chime in and tell me that it's all ok. Feel very lonely. Thanks

It's ok, juliecat. I have had feelings of despair. But have you seen the press conference with Jimmy Carter recently? Regardless of politics, he inspired me to not give up, life is too short.

Hi there,
I stumbled upon this website and your question. I'm 45 and am in perimenopause. No hot flashes, but definitely anxiety, panic and depression. Its terrible, I've always been confident, and independent and now my heart wants to beat out of my chest. Sometimes I have trouble sleeping - not falling asleep but staying asleep. I feel like I can't talk about it with anyone. My husband doesn't understand and my mother and sisters are convinced I'm too young to be in menopause. My dr did run bloodwork and it is official. Trying to figure out how to cope. Nice to know I'm not crazy and not alone.

Mary

Hi Juliecat,

I am sorry I am just seeing your message and therefore couldn't respond earlier. In the end, it will all be okay and if it's not okay it simply isn't the end. Allow yourself to go through this mourning process--it's real and understandably difficult. Whenever we allow ourselves to go through something, we emerge with some gifts and we learn about our strengths. Just a question or suggestion: Could you find a women to talk to about these issues. Perhaps a therapist that you connect with? And just so you know, I grieved not having children as well. Hugs!

Very scary panic hot flushes feeling of doom want my old self bk and to stop feeling like its the end of the world like yourself ok the oh oh feel so alone sad and scared

Thank goodness for this place. I try to speak to women in my life about this and get deer in the headlight stares most of the time. I need to start journaling just to find a pattern. But, I can tell you that I find it has hills and valleys. My Gyno put me on Xanax so I could get some sleep at night. That's all I take. (History of breast cancer/hysterectomy). It can feel maddening. I call it a screwed up, backwards adolescence. :)

It DOES help to know WHY you feel panicked and/or anxiety. I would wake from sleep upset as though I'd had a bad dream. A few of those a night and your day is messed up. It's HARD. But, it ends. At the very least, it changes.

Hang in there. Sending hugs.