Marijuana Addiction & Recovery Support Group
This community is dedicated to those looking to overcome their addiction to marijuana, a drug produced from parts of the cannabis plant. Join the group to find support among people who are also looking to cease their habit of smoking marijuana, share your experience, and get advice. It's not easy to kick the habit, but together we can.
The day after tomorrow I leave for a once in a lifetime experience, to live on a tropical island on the beach. I am very excited. But...
Im addicted to marijuana. I have been for years, now, but have only recently started admitted it. I don't know if addiction is the correct term but I am dependent upon marijuana and it is holding me back from being the person I want to be. I have always had issues with depression and they have been mild to moderate but never something I have considered getting help for, because I thought I was defective. Recently, I had a revelation partly forced on my by a good friend that: I am not alone.
I am currently about to embark on my senior year working toward my bachelors degree. I couldn't be more excited about the next part of my life. But there is always a grey cloud around my thoughts because I can't pass a drug test, and don't think I have the will power to get clean.
And, I will never know unless I try. Which brings me back to my fast approaching departure to a secluded island filled with self help books, a good friend, and most importantly no marijuana, and no access to it.
The closer I get the more daunting sobering up seems. I am freaking out while trying really hard to only think about the amazing experiences I will have for the next 6 weeks and the opportunities I will now have in the future. I actually get goosebumps thinking about the places I could travel, the jobs I get, and finally, being the change I wish to see in the world. **I know, clich.
Currently getting as high as I possible can and feeling worse and worse about myself because of the mounting list of "to-do's" I need to get done before I leave.. there wasn't an emoticon for those actions.
Im addicted to marijuana. I have been for years, now, but have only recently started admitted it. I don't know if addiction is the correct term but I am dependent upon marijuana and it is holding me back from being the person I want to be. I have always had issues with depression and they have been mild to moderate but never something I have considered getting help for, because I thought I was defective. Recently, I had a revelation partly forced on my by a good friend that: I am not alone.
I am currently about to embark on my senior year working toward my bachelors degree. I couldn't be more excited about the next part of my life. But there is always a grey cloud around my thoughts because I can't pass a drug test, and don't think I have the will power to get clean.
And, I will never know unless I try. Which brings me back to my fast approaching departure to a secluded island filled with self help books, a good friend, and most importantly no marijuana, and no access to it.
The closer I get the more daunting sobering up seems. I am freaking out while trying really hard to only think about the amazing experiences I will have for the next 6 weeks and the opportunities I will now have in the future. I actually get goosebumps thinking about the places I could travel, the jobs I get, and finally, being the change I wish to see in the world. **I know, clich.
Currently getting as high as I possible can and feeling worse and worse about myself because of the mounting list of "to-do's" I need to get done before I leave.. there wasn't an emoticon for those actions.
"I keep justifying it in a way that it is okay as long as its just once a week... But I know that once a week will turn into once a day.. and before I know it I will be back where I was before I started this Journey. "
And if you could have smoked with moderation you would have been doing that already. The idea that an addict can control her addiction is not true.
Here's a technique that really helped me. Choose your most embarrasing incident from smoking, the time or situation that really hurts your heart, and each time the addictive voice speaks up, play back that situation, slowly, in detail, to the end. All the voices in our heads aren't the real us, so it's important to learn not to let the addict run the show. You can control your thoughts, just be consistent.
Your trip sounds really neat, i am so happy for you that you were able to do it!
today is my first day on this forum and i actually joined for another reason but then thought i would check this out as well. Your story is an inspiration for me, it sounds like we have a lot of similarities. I started smoking pot when i was in highschool (2002) and by the time i graduated i was smoking on a daily basis and have continued too since. I struggle with Anxiety and i think that it is partially because of the pot, if not from the chemical part of it then because i avoided doing things because i was content stayinng home and getting high and now doing things makes me really nervious so i tend not to. I am really lazy and often wonder if i have cronic fatigue syndrom but it is probably just cuz i smoke too much pot. I feel alone, but after reading your story i realize that i am not alone. I really hope that you are able to continue not smoking when you go back to the states. I think that it would be a bad idea to do it even once. I wish that i could say that i was a month sober, i am soo proud of you for that even though i don't know you, i do know how hard the struggle would be for me and i am scared to even try. I think that i need to think about this really hard and figure out how i am going to quit. I would love it if we could be "sponcers" like they do in AA. I know that i need help and maybe you would be able to help me and hopfully with helping me it could help you...
let me know what you think
Update: Things are, going. I keep having dreams about smoking and feeling disappointed with myself. I am back in the States now at my parents house. Both of them smoke marijuana recreationally. It is kind of tough to be around pot but makes me feel really good about myself that I can overcome and not smoke. I am on here reading people's stories and self reflecting instead of sitting around thinking about smoking.
Traveling today SUCKED. "L" was still being pretty distant but not completely ignoring me so it wasn't too bad. We went our separate ways in Miami. The plane left on time and we got in on time. But if I can say one thing its that MIA is a horrible horrible place. I never want to go back. No offense to anyone, just not for me. And judging by everyone's mood and rudeness (aside of the Custom's agents and TSA they were really nice) none of them were happy to be there either. After two hours in the customs line and a half hour getting lost trying to find the rental car desks I realized I had forgotten my Fathers fly fishing pole his my grandfather had given him. I was filled with panic, which in my case releases itself by becoming really angry at the people closest to me. After calling and yelling at my mom and boyfriend (which I feel awful about, have apologized and I am trying to be better about that) I decided to go back to Purgatory (Miami International Airport) and get the fishing pole. It took my an hour to find someone who could tell me what to do and where to go then another hour waiting for my escort to take me back into customs.. Then I had to wait for another 2 hours and go through customs again. I am happy and proud of myself I didn't just give up and I actually completed fixed my mistake on my own. I have done that very very few times. I feel like a piece of shit for taking the frustration I had with myself for losing the fishing pole out on my Mom and Boyfriend. I really need some professional help and am looking forward to starting therapy in a week when I return to Co. I don't really like myself right now and am so sick of treating my loved ones so badly. I wish there was a way for them to understand I only do it to the people I trust and truly love. Horrible I know. I need to stop talking/thinking about this because it is making me cry.
I am nervous about being back in the real world. I know I can beat this addiction.
I love being here at my parents house. Tomorrow I am going to go on a run in the am and maybe go get a manicure and pedicure (much needed) and then have dinner with my mom and sister. I hope it goes well. My sister and i have had trouble getting along in the past. I hope we can create a relationship but am trying not to be disappointed if we do not. We have briefly exchanged emails and she is going to let me ride some of her horses and I have asked her to give me a few lessons. I know it will be hard to get a lesson from her because we have had such a hard time getting along in the past but I am have pledged to "shake off" the little things that makes us fight and hope she can do the same. I have not told her about my marijuana problem because I know she will make fun of me or say something not very constructive. She smokes but has overcome a greater drug problem. I hope one day we can be supportive of each others' lives and not use our diseases's and issues as weapons in fights. I am guilty of this also and can only control what I do and think and I am determined to be a positive person in her live. I cannot control what other people do or treat me but I do hope she does the same for me. I wish I could say I wouldn't be disappointed is she doesn't, but I will be.
And thoughts and messages are greatly appreciated. All the support I have found here has really helped and I would like to say thank you to everyone.
Mandi86- I sent you a message :)
Lucy87- Thank you for the advise. Keep 'em coming.
And everyone else out there who has opened up about there problems on here keep up the good work!! We are not alone and can get through this :)
My boyfriend found a house! I was so excited. I was already excited to come home (with a little nervousness) but this made me over the top excited! To have a home and a place to go to call my own really had me looking forward to going back to Co. I was daydreaming about how to decorate and where to put my furniture and especially snuggling with our dog.
Until this evening. He went to bring some of the furniture over to the house so it would be ready for me when I came home (such a sweetheart) when there was a note on the door from the owner's wife.
The note stated that the house was part of a divorce and they have been to court several times trying to resolve the matter. She didn't leave a phone number or email and we have no way to get a hold of her. Her husband, my landlord (maybe.. hopefully) has been really nice and my boyfriend and mother have only nice things to say about him. Unfortunately, he is unable to be reached. I already put a deposit down on the house and am afraid I am going to lose it. The note said depending on the settlement I could potentially be asked to move out with less than 12 hours notice. I have been a renter for years now and have never heard of that kind of quick eviction. I have also never been a tool used in a divorce. I am so nervous I am not going to get this house.. or move into and have to move months or days later.
send good thoughts my way. I hope it works out. I hate looking for houses.