I'm in the same situation amyls. It seems harder down here for some reason but maybe it's just me, I dont know. I have tried and tried and nothing has really worked so far. I have never had this hard of a time making friends in my entire life.

I moved to a southern state still here 3 years now.I haven't made one friend.I did have some depression in the past I know that didn't help but I'm doing better now.I still can't believe I don't have any friends made friends back home easy and new ones that I still talk to.I feel like the women here are more reserved.They aren't as outgoing alot of homebodies which is making me one now.Haven't seen one person here anything like my friends at home.I just recently stopped drinking so it has nothing to do with that.In fact I was drinking way more since I moved here from not having any social life or friends.The only relationship I have here is my boyfriend.I HATE winter but it isn't looking so bad to me now would rather be in snow up north with some friends now.So I feel ya.

Some comedian said finding friends after high school? GOOD FREAKING LUCK.

I'm not an expert but I find it when I make friends is easiest when I'm happy, silly and brave. It makes others attach to me.

Those very different from myself. I have something they want.

If there is any kind of social place, show up over and over, maybe 50 times, eventually you'd be noticed. I'm certain.

Well now that I read this last post that makes me thinkI was doing my laundry up the hill from where I live and I would go to this sports bar,pool hall and drink a couple beers while I was doing laundry and it started getting to where people knew when theysaw me that I was doing laundry the next thing I knew for the first time ever I was invited to go out with this couple and we exchanged numbers.This was a few weeks ago.Now I have recently been abstaining from drinking and haven't been back in there:(

I find it also hard to make friends. I exchange numbers with people, and it seems like they are really interested in being friends; then I don't hear from them and they never return my calls. I'm a friendly person and I love to make people laugh. I tried everything. I went churches, in person support groups, and any other place that provided me with the oppurtunity to meet new people.

Elmma is so right. Been there myself. I guess you have to keep on trying. People here I nice to talk to. Maybe you will find a friend too. The real kind. Don't give up.

I've had several job prospects on the opposite coast, and I've worried how it will be leaving my few close friends and all my family behind. I like people, but it's difficult for many people to trust enough to begin new friendships. I think it takes some kind of bonding experience to make real friends.

You're definitely not the only one. I used to have a lot of friends. I moved to California 2 years ago and I haven't made any friends. I had nothing in common with any of the girls at my old job... and now being unemployed I don't even see or talk to anyone besides my boyfriend. I actually signed up on some website to meet friends, but that didn't work either. I had one person contact me, and we emailed a bit... then we met for dinner, and we went to the beach one day... that was it. It seems like people are too busy to make the effort to form that kind of relationship as you get older. It's hard enough maintaining the ones you do have, so they don't want to bother making new friends I guess.

I too have had a hard time making and keeping friends. I live in a small town of only 3000 where 'clicks' are huge and I am not a 'click' of any kind. My daughter is only 8 so she isn't into any activities yet. The friends issue has become huge to me as of late as my depression and anxiety have started taking over my life. Maybe I am desperate, I don't know.

I totally know what you mean. I moved to Texas and I don't know how to make friends. I'm so lonely too. Are you on Facebook? Please friend me. And that goes for anyone on here. I'm so lonely and would love to meet more people. I'm more on Facebook then I am on DS
https://www.facebook.com/melissa.hegemann

Well, reading these responses makes me feel a bit less like a freak. I had to stop working 13 years ago because of health issues, and there went my "social life." The few friends I had were people I'd met at work. I still see a couple of them, but only a few times a year.

Since I was sick for so long (both physical, and then with depression), I got really isolated. Now I feel better and I'm trying to get out more (classes, volunteer work), but I still haven't made any friends. It's definitely harder the older you get.

I find that my biggest issue is the difficulty in making an introverted friendship. That, by it's nature, it requires time and regular exposure and contact with another like minded person.

And I think that our societies are set up to offer very littl by way of coming across this experience.

For me, jumping in and being another extrovert is nt a solution: having to keep up eith the constant Facebook chatter and group outings, is just more work fr me. ....worse still, is that when I can't then keep up and these relationships don't work out, it causes awkwardness. I feel like there is this great pressure to conform to being an extrovert.

I even got outright criticized for being a homebody. ...great.

So for me I think that a LOT has to do with the outside pressure to be extroverted. But it is a lose-lose scenario for me. And I think that buying into it has contributed to social anxiety I've battled.

I even wonder whether the problem of introversion being ignored and undervalued, may not even be worse than I properly realize.

...consider for instance how research show that anxiety and depression have increased, that people have fewer close friends, and that in Australia suicide is the biggest killer of people under 45 AND yet it and issues like social support gets far less coverage than things like smoking and drink driving.

I actually think that our society is really tough on mental health and very unacommodating towards introverts. ....I think I am brainwashed to perceive being introverted as a flaw, just because most people seem to be brainwashed as well.

I am in danbury ct looking for friends to the few i have they got kids or they just know my number when they need something it sucks!

i think this issue speaks to our society today. people often are very unwilling to get out of their own comfort zones, ... so when we finally take a leap and step out of our comfort zone, ... lots of times there is no one there to connect with. I experience this, too, and i have tried taking classes, support groups, meeting at churches, teaching classes, being outgoing, giving service, volunteering, and it seems to come down to that people get into their cozy intimate world with the friends that they have had much longer, and the busy pace of life seems to make it hard to keep up with old friends, let alone make and nurture new friends.

I have had more success in making long distance friends on DS than I have with all the efforts I have been putting forth in real time life... sad but true. I am really trying not to take the rejection feeling that I don't matter or I don't have enough "fun factor" to offer personally. I know I just have to keep trying, and keep letting go of efforts that are not productive. I just have to keep my heart open, but easier said than done.

I ask the same question, I've considered that I need to find something about life that I can be passionate about.
That's one way to make friends because you share the same passion.
My challenge is finding something that gives me energy on the inside, so for me the question is what motives me.
I'm still searching but I think this is part of the answer.