don't think that there is no one out there for you. especially because your dysfunctional. I have a cousin who has aspergers ( a form of autism) and he is closer to the "severe" end of the spectrum, and it sounds messed up for me to say but he's not good looking , at all. and despite these things he landed a girlfriend who was "normal" , not homely, and despite his being very hard to deal with and be around she was with him a few years.
try to bring up your self esteem a little. be a little more confident . hold your head up when u walk, look people in the eyes when you talk. the way you feel about yourself shows. others can see you don't like yourself , and maybe they figure since you don't like you then there must be a reason that they wont like you.
look outside of AA for a connection. with newbies theres too much of a risk of relapse. you don't need to be dragged back down. and everyone in there is messed up in some way ...why do u think they're alchaholics? ..( don't take that wrong. I'm an addict so I sympathize. )
but two messed up people is harder to manage than just one.
and lastly in my pep talk, don't say or feel you want to die. I understand that most people long for love and intimacy, but lots of people die alone and managed to have a relatively fulfilling life. there are ways out there to get some of your needs met if its about that :/ just sayin.
I hope for.u that u do meet someone .. when ur not looking sometimes it'll fall in your lap.
good luck

Oh no, you're going to blame others "hooking up" from AA as the reason for you being dysfunctional?? LOL AND JUST ABOUT FALLING OFF THE CHAIR.

Hi jasper i understand how u feeling. I went to AA for 4 yrs on and off and didnt feel too confident. I went for coffee with some girls and i still felt like an outsider.

As for falling off your chair because jasper was blaming others in AA for being disfunctional he didnt say that AS TIMES GOES BY YOU ARE A TYPICAL AA IN GUY GET A GRIP .

What i would advise Jasper is that you look into support groups in your area for courses on computing,relaxationdepression etc

you can mess me anytime.

Did it ever occur to you that the people playing footsies with each other and going out are dysfunctional too? Only difference is: They find a way to make being dysfunctional fun. The put the fun in dysfunctional. They're able to laugh at themselves. You do the same. Don't take yourself so seriously.

Yes, it's annoying when people in relationships tell you it's not a big deal or that you'll find someone. But, if you step back and look at it logically, they were probably where you were at some point in their lives. They didn't just roll out of bed one morning and find a wife and kids lying there for them.

I know people who were single their whole lives or in and out of horrible, abusive relationships until they found the right person for them. I've known people from all walks of life who were/are able to find relationships.

Yes, lots of people out there suck. But at the end of the day, you have to take a closer look at yourself and see what you're doing wrong as well. Sometimes we put off the wrong vibe to others and it's truly hard to find love when you hate yourself or you're always being negative.

Also, take a look around this forum. There are people in relationships and who are married with kids, and they are still lonely. Maybe not having someone isn't your only reason for drinking and finding someone might not be the answer to all of your problems. Don't make or break your life based on another person because it never works out when you do.

Deb: I offered Jasper the support options you mentioned in another thread here called the Double Whammy and he ignored that. He then asked God why he forsaked him on a daily basis, then he wanted to know why God allowed the individual and corporate torture, then he jumped to blaming AA people that are hooking up for his own dysfunction.

Jasper's statement about blaming the AA people I didn't take seriously and thought it was finally a joke out of Jasper and a new and great new side he was showing to us. It was clever and I really laughed.

I'm not a man, I'm not in AA, and if Jaspar was serious about the AA situation, I agree with Koolman that Jaspar should look to the other dsyfunctional people and realize they're putting fun in their lives and not take his own life so seriously.

P.S. I don't need a grip because I didn't fall, but here in the states if you "mess," it usually involves a bowel movement and some people like that kinky stuff, but I'm not into it.

well I hear ya, what's sad is you posted this on 11/18/2013 and I am here replying, shows you how out of sorts I am. Don't dwell too much on other people in the group, focus on you meeting one person and talking to them. Who says you have to be in a relationship, people in relationships, such as I, is not greener on the other side trust me. I have issues with my fianc, and it's not all as it seems, I have someone in my bed every night, and I am still lonely.

So, don't believe because other people in your group have someone to talk to, it's o.k., they are allowed, but so are you. Your no different or any worse than they are.

Take what you have to offer someone, I don't know maybe your good with pets, writing, art, whatever and find someone with similar interests. It's hard if you don't have anything to offer or talk to someone about. If you notice people relate to one another, but you have to have something they can relate too.

AA is a 12 step program, try to find someone who is in the same step you are in, I don't know I'm just trying to help you. REalize too that all this shit is temporary. People move on, grow up, do different things, you can't stay stuck in this rut forever, keep going to AA but start migrating toward another kind of group that you can interact with. There are a lot of single groups that are just that, groups that go out and meet for coffee and talk and just be friendly toward one another.

If you were here i'd invite you to coffee, and pick your brain.

Jasper I have been in AA 18+ years sober all them...I came around AA in 1982 for first encounter with it...but I will tell ya...you sound like it is hard for the people like us who are alone and that nobody dates (you said goes out with)us....I have not dated in AA ever and I have had one girlfriend while in first few months of getting into AA it was someone from back home who flew to the remote island I lived on to visit me twice...that was early and did not work out...
I did find a gal at work who was disfunctional...I married her....she decided she wanted her sixth divorce after about two years with me....we split...see it is not the people of AA that 13th step *(I bet you know what that means and I tell ya it is not right) I see myself as sober looking for a mate from this world not from AA...a mate from online dating is still being sought but I am pretty particular about who I will date...so I do not rush out the door taking women to dinner or movies...in fact I have not really dated since ex and I were together....I have my eye out there but not letting my pecker run my life!

Bill is a really good person and pretty wise. Listen to him and take his advice.