Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
Hi , I feel it is very important to have a support system , especially as I have gotten older . I have no children . I used to be close to my only sibling and his family. I have noticed that since my accident little by little they have have drifted apart from me . I have written several loving and kind messages and I do not hear back from them ; with the exception of a once in a blue moon obligatory short message from my brother . My brother has made a transition from being a down to earth person , to one that hob knobs with his wife's family and friends who are all quite wealthy . My brother was never materialistic years ago, but has become so, since he got married years ago. I have friends that I am in frequent touch with ; but they have their own children , grandchildren and things they do. It is both scary and lonely for me . I have physical disabilities that keep me from being more independent as I was my whole life before my accident . Does any one else have a small support system and how do you deal with it ? Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
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Does anyone follow her? She's really got some good tips.
I do not have a solid support system except for my husband as I feel like my chronic illness friend has been self-isolating and out of the loop. I do have periods of self-pity and loneliness, and grief lately with all the folks and friends who have died in the last 18 months.
And yes, I feel lonely when I am having health issues, and anxious. It is scary and lonely to know we need help in activities of daily living, etc. I worked with older adults until I had to retire early so I vow to have in-home help as much as I need. We already have a housecleaner and a guy who mows the yard and then does things I can no longer do like putting out mulch (there goes that hobby).
Sometimes people go through a period of depression. I know my husband was very depressed as he faced his eye disease and loss of driving, loss of job, loss of his old marriage, etc. But now he has figured it out and is a social butterfly online with hobby groups of other people. He goes in ride-shares by himself most of the time unless the building is so crazy he can't find the office he needs.
What I have found with other people is yes, we all change as we grow up and mature into older adults. Like your brother. My sister is older and VERY self-absorbed. She demands I help her when she needs it but no longer will help me. Can't tell if she has mental illness that runs in our family or dementia starting, it is not good. Since my husband is almost blind and I am pretty crippled. I have noticed we both have had people or friends dump us. His family put him down for years, even his parents, for being less-than because he was losing his vision. They suck as people.
There are sometimes support groups, even online, for people with certain illnesses or even caregivers for people with dementia, etc. You might look for something associated with a non-profit associated with your own disease or issue.
And we have a non-profit called NAMI that has support groups for mental health issues like depression both online and in-person where I live. I have done some online support groups for parents with estranged adult sons or daughters but those are hit and miss and right now I am purposefully letting all that be. So not really attending groups nor am I leading my old support group as I got burned out.
Lastly, I keep a mental bad day toolbox that is hot pink and I often sit and think, what coping skills would work for me today. I know of people who actually go out and purchase a toolbox and put their coping skills into that box. Maybe it is a book or a soft blanket, or whatever floats their boat. I just mentally go through my coping skills. Mine are getting outside, doing a chore, listening to the radio or podcasts because listening makes my brain shut down the ruminating, walking outside for the 10 minutes I can stand the pain, some minor gardening or houseplant maintenance or reading a good book. I also practice Radical Acceptance, the theory is easily googled to know all the steps. I have also driven to a store, a big box one, and walked the entire inside perimeter and made myself notice things to tire myself out and make my brain think about something else other than my losses and troubles.
A course of cognitive behavioral therapy 10 years ago at the beginning of my health decline really helped me. I used to keep a chart up on my office wall (at home) that I would read to remind myself not to catastrophize, or blame others, whatever I was doing stinking thinking wise.
I went to a new bookclub two visits now and I think it will be a fail. I have to be okay with it not being a match. The gal leading it has a screw loose and is so chaotic and also aggressive and wants to argue. I found myself doing the overly nice thing, the praise of her thing, just to keep her calm this past meeting. So I think I have to sadly accept that this one is a no. Now I am working on seeing it as just something in life that didn't work out, which is okay. Radical Acceptance "it is what it is."
If I only was physically able to do activities , it would make a world of difference to me for making new connections .
I used to be close with my brother long ago but we grew apart after his mental illness diagnosis and now he’s a shell of himself so I can’t really talk to him anymore. I’m like his only support system and he even lives with me now but he is a recluse.
My SO is a support but also has caused a lot of grief. I think my loneliness and fear of being more alone keeps me in this relationship. I’ve given up finding anyone else.
I think your activity limitations are probably making you feel even more lonely. I’m sorry that you’ve lost some independence so that is isolating too.
I tried to make a habit of calling my friends as mine are all long distance and talking to them regularly and forcing myself to be somewhat vulnerable.
I try to travel to visit them at least every few years but they only have come once to see me in the last 13 years.
I use pets to cope also with my loneliness.
Your husband sounds like he is well adjusted to his challenge; which I admire . It is sad how his family acted towards him .
It’s been challenging lately with housing difficulties as well