I agree with most of your points. For me, when I seek out volunteer opportunities, it's not to meet people (as you said very well...many times even volunteer groups are cliche), but rather to find joy and peace in serving others.

Loneliness comes in different situations. I find no matter how many people you have around you. It just doesn't matter!!! When your heart has huge hole in it. Nothing seems to fill it. I am very active and are exposed to people continuously. They all need me on some level because of my profession. But none of them fill a void that creates my loneliness. I have my own thoughts on what I need but that will never happen. So I do just continue on with life for there is nothing else I can do. So I must agree well meaning people have great advice. But never really the answers. You are all precious people and I know we will find the answer we need. It is just great to know that I am not alone in this war of the mind.

Preach. You expressed so well how I feel. Thank you.

I agree with you. People brush off loneliness like it is a choice. But I honestly don't know how people maintain social contact. I feel like a pariah. Being told to volunteer, etc. just makes me feel like a charity case. Both of my best friends died 2 years ago. All my friends are married and having kids, they have become PTA parents and scout leaders. I don't want to be that. I don't know how to find like-minded people. I am alone all the time. If I didn't have my cats I would have already ended my life.

There is an incredible lack of trust these day,, or so than at any other time in recent history, also no one talks to anyone anymore except on cell phones,,,I have mostly given up even trying ,,,

i can understand where you're coming from. Some people are oblivious to another person's loneliness. Everyone's situation may be different, but from my own experience being alone and lonely can be devastating.

Good thoughts. I'm a lonely guy and would love to find new friends. I think joining clubs or groups or volunteering for things that interest you is helpful for your loneliness as you will be doing activities that you enjoy. I don't think you can force anything. I know I look at several of the events on Meet Up and many are just meeting at a bar for drinks which has no interest to me. However, I have met some people walking my dog or hiking etc. naturally. I think you have to get out there but be out there doing things you enjoy and hopefully friends will come.

Cicatrices, don't know when you'll get this message, but I, too, may not be here if it weren't for my cats. I find no joy in anything but them anymore. I have a wonderful therapist but that only goes so far. Am getting ready to start TMS on Monday and hope it helps. I used to be a bubbly active social person and am just a shell of that now.. If TMS doesn't work, not sure what I'll do.... I can't go on like this anymore...

I can certainly see your point. Its not as easy as just getting out there. But when people respond to a post like this there are really only three things they can offer: 1) sympathy and well wishes, 2) their own similar experiences, 3) suggestions to improve things. And of course combinations of the three. I've been lonely for most of my life. Its easier when I have close friends but it doesn't go away.. Its off the scale now as my father died a couple of months ago (and mom has been gone for many years and I have no siblings). I think loneliness is why some people stay married even though it may not be a great marriage. Also why many people continue to work after they could retire. Because being alone is worse. I'm seeing articles lately how loneliness is an epidemic in this country. I believe it. And let's face it. We post on this site as a way of combating it. I do wish there were easy solutions to this. But as we all know its had to find friends.

totally agree with comments. Only time i have felt alone is when married or in some clubs/groups. Read a saying that the worse feeling is when in a group and u feel lonely and the people around you are reason. some churches are like that where i live. You sit with them they smile say good morning but rest of the week.... no word.. they know no family left, live alone and in 70's. you go to womens meetings go to church sunday meals and still like being with strangers... just the area where I live.. Met a family from W VA who moved here few yrs back and realizing i am also from out of area, said when moved here it was culture shock... neighbors, co workers churches all same. Not from here so on own. I know some will say move to new area, but easier said than done.. moving means starting over at this age , money is factor also. Love my home but..... people are not going to change so I have to make some decisions... and before u think or say i need to be more out going---i hav ladies luncheon here some times 9 come , never miss.. over winter miss few months , but do it almost every other month now for two yrs.. some times monthly, i make main meal, each brings a dish they stay most of day...play games. No one ever did any thing like this. but rest of time no invites for lunch or included in their homes.. all one sided. Ask for favor like ride to a garage and excuses spew forward...not even knowing date time of day...Just this area. If any one u ask agrees to favor asked , they want paid... no matter neighbors or who it is... Moved here on own so it is like they feel u moved here alone so on own..not their problem to look on or help. I am oldest on street.. Yrs ago where i use to live near where i worked i was youngest of several. who were age i am now. I checked on them went to store shoveled.. what ever needed and took not a dime.. Oh the good old days. \

This is so very true.