Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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So lonely that I’m numb

ju5tm3
ju5tm3

I sit here alone again and in the depths of my despair I finally decide to reach out to see if anyone else is there. 


My ex husband cheated on me 6 years ago (after 20 years together) and just walked out in a whim one night leaving me as a single mother.


I truly feared that I would never trust anyone again and never thought I would open my heart up until I fell hard for a guy at work after he told me all the things I had always wanted to hear, he wasn't even my 'type', it just happened. Probably my low self esteem i would say. A year down the track and he won't commit to me (it's a whole other story). Anyway I don't want to dwell on that now but he's showing me all the same signs of losing interest in me and I can't help but wonder, how do I always end up here?


I am always the one lifting everyone else's spirits around me and I know why I do it, because I know what it's like to be lonely and at rock bottom.


Do people just initially like me because I make them feel good about themselves and then lose interest in me once they start feeling better about themselves and suck all the good stuff out of me? I'm tired of it, it's a never ending cycle.


It doesn't just happen with men, it happens with friends and in the workplace too.


People just use me up and toss me away.


It's exhausting and I can recognise it in myself but I can't change who I am and I truly care for others, too much it seems.


i just wonder, will I forever be alone? It sure seems like it. I'm scared to love, scared to trust and scared to commit but also desperate to love, desperate to trust and desperate to commit. 

I found my happy place when I became single (it was a horribly emotionally abusive marriage anyway) and I was in a good place until I fell in love again.


I think I'll forever have my walls up now, it's not worth it... but I feel so alone.

Carolin57
Carolin57
Sending hugs to help you feel less alone.
ju5tm3
ju5tm3
Thank you Carolin57
Carolin57
Carolin57
Just to say, I don't think you'll be forever alone as you make people smile so people will be drawn to you. However having been hurt in the past your walls will be higher, therefore if a gentleman really wants to find the real you he'll have to climb higher. That is how you will be able to judge a for real relationship. Or at least one way to judge it.
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
I can relate. Lost my wife after a 24 year marriage and have lived alone for the past 6 years. It gave me a chance to find out who I was because for 24 years, I lived my life through someone else. Getting to know myself was a whole new experience and an enjoyable one!

So, try to avoid the temptation to perceive yourself unfairly treated because it's what's draining your energy. Just keep shining your light of love and compassion and you will be surprised at how far that will take you!

God Bless
ju5tm3
ju5tm3
Lovely comments, thank you both for being understanding, caring and providing me with some insight into why I feel like I do right now. Much appreciated. I hope you both have an awesome day!
maria718
maria718
People take kind and nice people for granted. All I can say is don't change---you continue to be yourself---something good will happen when you least expect it. I'm so glad there's nice people out there like you. Good luck!
ju5tm3
ju5tm3
Thank you Maria. I really appreciate you all reaching out to me.
Island13
Island13
Yeah I hear you. Please don't give up on being happy but start putting YOU first.
Love n best wishes from Scotland. X
Mystique3578
Mystique3578
Hello. I just want you to know that I hear you and understand. I completely related to a lot of what you said, especially the parts about giving so much of yourself to others while being tossed away afterwards. The pain is real. Hang in there though. I truly believe that you’ll/we’ll get through this if we don’t give up.

Blessings to you!
sunandbutterflies
sunandbutterflies
Don't give up...so sorry to hear of the struggle and pain that you have been feeling. I would encourage you to speak with a counselor. I know that it has helped me to open up to trusting again. Hope that today is a bit easier for you.
Lovesshoes
Lovesshoes
Hi, I too am now alone after a 16 year marriage and share custody of my son. It’s hard to start a new life at this stage.
At least u have a job that u can distract yourself or enjoy. I was a stay at joke mom, before that, basically did charity work and now after 3 years divorced, I am finding it hard to get back into the workforce. It’s scary. My friends don’t understand, feel like I have nothing in common with them anymore . I hope things r a bit better for u as a bit of time has passed since your post. If u need a friendly ear, I am happy to chat. I completely understand how u feel.
humbleheart
humbleheart
Hi, I fully understand where you're coming from because I'm currently going through the same. I'm single but I've always been the motivator for others and then when I need support they all seems to be so busy or vanishes.
I've been told that I'm a nurturer naturally. so it's hard to cut back on that due to the compassion we have for others.
My prayer for me is for God to help me to choose the right people that adds, supports, and has my best interest at heart for my life. Those that aren't for me to go in another direction and don't let me do things based upon my feelings but by his plans.
I hope what I've said has been encouraging and please feel free to message me anytime.

Stay positive and keep being loving!!
doggy123
doggy123
I feel the same...its like theyre vultures, and they use us good, nice, honest ppl just for their own ego boost, just to make themselves feel better, and then theyre off
justbreatheitsok
justbreatheitsok
Your story is almost identical to mine, I was in an emotionally abusive marriage and he cheated on me and I left him. I met someone at work and fell hard but he lost interest in me and left. I have been single for the last 8 years now and I love it! I have learned to love myself and if someone else can't love me for me than I don't need them. There are worse things in the world than being single, I have family that love me, and great friends. You have to truly love yourself and your own company. Caring for others is not a bad thing at all, kindness is the best thing you can give others and yourself. I used my experience to learn and grow and now I help others change their lives, reach their goals and be happy and comfortable in this sometimes crazy world. Be proud of who you are, kind and giving people are life's greatest gift!
Scott46
Scott46
I know things look bleak and you are feeling bad, but we are talking about 2 romances that ended badly. Maybe you can learn from them and chose better next time. The world is full of jerks who want to use other people, and they look for the nice ones like us. I have been used and crapped on too. The trick is to learn to distinguish the good ones from the moochers and users. Please don't give up. One thing I try to do at times like this is imagine myself very old and gray and sitting in a rocking chair looking back on my life. Will I be thinking it was a good idea to give up all those years ago? Or will I be glad I didn't? We only have a few decades on this rock. How do you want to spend the time you have left? Just food for thought.
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