I just wanted to introduce myself. I am a very sad person. I feel like a bucket without a bottom. I have moved a lot in the last couple of years and I have no stable relationships. I don't have family. I am alone. I moved across the country (and across the world even) for multiple jobs that were not worth my time. The latest one I moved out for in June- I moved halfway across the country for this gig, in the middle of a pandemic, not knowing a single person out here- and the job turned out to be a bait and switch and I am literally treated as slave labor. Now I have little hope of making any friends because there are no opportunities in the pandemic. I am bawling my eyes out today. I want very bad for someone to wrap their arms around me, give me a hug, whisper "It's gonna be OK,  I love you."  Instead- silence. Pure silence. I have no energy left and I wish I had someone to help me run errands, come over and visit, just make sure I am ok. I am not ok. And nobody will ever knock on my door. I spent this past Thanksgiving alone. I spent Christmas alone. I spent my birthday and Easter alone. I spend every single day alone and my soul is bleeding and in pain. Now I am living in an area I don't even want to be in. With no friends or any hope of meeting any. In tears and alone. In a deadbeat job that i will probably end up leaving in the next week or so because they are abusing me and wreaking havoc on my mental health. Alone. I called a crisis line the other night. I was in tears. The lady didn't bother to try and console me, which is what I needed. Instead she told me to get on a dating app or go find a hobby. I hung up the phone after that call. Continued to bawl. Punched myself in the head a couple of times out of frustration. Wished I could drown myself. But i guess there was a little piece that said if I did that, I would never find a friend. Still, I am broken. Shattered. In a billion tiny pieces. My hope is lost.