Join some groups to make friends. There are orgainzations help parents for free.
Do'nt kill yourself. Your children needs you.

I am so sorry for what you are going through. Life gets so hard when we don't talk to someone we love. Trying to cope is the most difficult part. But it takes time and it is worth trying.

Hi Mom215,

Your children should be your focus. I know the loneliness is painful and having children does not make it any better, but your kids need you the most. If your boyfriend left, consider it his loss. Everyone that you lose is not always a loss, sometimes it is good when people walk out of our lives. It causes us self-reflect and realize what is most important. If you have to give up people just to be with someone, that should be red flag. Unless you have family and friends that are doing inappropriate things, no one should have to cut off those friends and family members just to please a partner or spouse.

Cutting yourself is definitely not healthy. You might want to consider counseling or therapy. But please try to feel better and just parent your children. The world has enough children suffering in foster homes, orphanages, and on the streets because they are without parents. I have a son too and I go through loneliness and heartache everyday, but he needs me right now the most, Nothing and no one is more important than my child, so I have to be okay and hopefully you will be okay too. There are people here that can offer you support, but I would definitely recommend seeing a psychiatrist or licensed therapist, Just my advice. Psychiatrists are actually pretty cool, I have seen them in the past, They never judged me and they're quite smart!

Feel better love.

You have a mom and a close cousin...and you don't want to take your problems to them! Why? Guilt, pride? Forget it, and talk to them asap....tell them at least once.

You NEED people to talk to, you may not want to confide with your mom, but at least the close cousin or close friend. Even writing a journal on this site is helpful. I used to do things like that, abandon everyone just for a man. No more. They end up leaving you in the end anyway. It's not worth it. You are more important than that, and your children are more important. Talk about it, and as time goes on, you will realize it was the best thing that ever happened. And please don't dwell on the very few good moments--remember the bad stuff he did!!

Maybe you should think of this as an opportunity to find a better relationship. If you had to give up everything for him, it seemed like he was controlling you. You have the love of your children than need you, and you mom. Maybe, it's time for you to look on what you had, instead of on what you lack. If you feel like cutting, I think that should ring a bell for you to look out for professional help, counseling may help. Remember that you are worth of the best, and you have a reason for living, find that reason on what you already have. Don't give up. There is always a tomorrow. Find strength and love in yourself, and in those that love you.
Hope you feel better, and really seek out help. Writing here, is a good sign about your willingness of recover, don't despair.