I doubt every person at your AA meeting is "hooking up", even if it looks that way to you.

If you are unhappy there, maybe go to a different AA meeting, or do a Zoom one?

Have you tried looking in other places to meet women? I did suggest a bunch of ideas a few months ago, have you tried any of those ideas at all?

Only you can take the actions necessary to make friends and get dates. You have to put yourself out there and talk to people.

And a positive, pleasant, agreeable attitude would be very attractive to other people when you first meet them, also. It's not all about how you look, it's also about a person's personality.

You will find someone.

Thanks. I would go more places. But my options are limited. I'm in California too. In the San Joaquin Valley. Worst place to meet a partner. I could go to church. But ladies there are also holding back for the football player of their dreams. God just seems to want me to suffer. Next life I guess. Bless you.

I did a quick Google search, and the San Joaquin Valley is 1426 square miles. There has to be women there! :)

I also searched for upcoming events there. Lots of Farmer's Markets (women definitely go there!), and there are a few 4th of July events and a 4th of July parade too, this Sunday to choose from.

Here's the link to check out what might be coming up to do around you. I think it would be fun to try to go to some of these events. Give it a try! Check out this link and check it frequently for events -

https://www.americantowns.com/san-joaquin-county-ca/events/

jsealy, there's loads of women out there. Don't think negative. If you do, it will never happen. And don't be jealous of others. How do you know they have good relationships with their mates? You don't know.
Maybe you should try another AA group, not the one you're going to. I'll be if you show up in another one, and you've never been seen there before, people (women) will come up to you. Being "new" always arouses curisoity in people and you will get approached.

I'm in my mid 50's and I had the same feeling about myself back in my 20's. I did get out there trying to meet people through various community events. The funny thing is that I could have had an easier time landing a date had I just opened my eyes and looked in the mirror.

An old friend of mine once told me to make a list of all my positive attributes then post it next to the bathroom mirror. Every time I went to use that bathroom sink, I was instructed to read down that list. If repeated often enough, you'll find you're really worthy of meeting an equally decent person as you.

Why not concentrate on why you are attending AA meetings. You are a person who has a problem with alcohol. AA meetings are not speed dating. Work on yourself, stay sober and improve each day. Once you are stronger you will have more confidence and will be more able to communicate with women.

I'm in AA because I made some mistakes in my youth. I tried church first. But after awhile, I felt that God only wanted to punish me. So I went to AA to try to find a more loving, liberal God. Now I know that no such God exists. Most of my life has been dominated my emotional pain, and some physical pain. Just a few breaks of happiness here and there. I definitely agree with conspiracy theorists that believe that earth is a prison planet. But all I can do is to keep looking for some good out there. But I hardly ever find any in the realm of human interactions. I like Nature a lot better. I wish I could get back to my hippie days. But that is impossible.

Your life has been dominated by emotional and physical pain. With a few breaks of happiness here and there. I am sorry you endured pain during your lifetime. Perhaps a mental professional can help you. With therapy you can address the underlying problems that are disrupting your life. Remember God is not punishing you. Try to find a way to forgive yourself. I hope you find a way to think positively and attend AA meetings with a different viewpoint.

Yeah. Good stuff. Thanks. I do try to work all this stuff out. I'm not perfect. I admit it. I'm focusing on the wrong things I guess. Everything ultimately seemss intertwined. But I get the mistaken impression sometimes that everyone around me has it all together. And I'm the only one that's messed up. Having my diagnosis of schizoeffective forces me to deal with Mental Health Stigma. I'm caucasian. But I get a little taste of what being a person of color is like. Although I realizethe pain they go through could be even more difficult. In meetings, it's normal for everyone to put their best foot forward. And therefpore put on a good front. I try too. My mistake is that my best front is to be too honest. I have looked up stuff by Brene Brown. She says personal growth involves takin the chance to be vulnerable. A lot of the rest of my life is pretty good. I'm just not that skilled at those stupid head games other people play to get in the sack with each other. Sometimes it feels like I have get a lot better at being phony. LOL

Be angry with God. Tell Him how you really feel. He can handle it. He put the bullies here, so He can definitely handle what you have to say. Sorry that your lonely and want to be loved truly by someone. Screw the bullies and screw the hyper-religious thinkers. They suck too. You will find love I guarantee it. It made not start with a person but it will definitely end that way. I hope that last line made sense.

"Thanks to far right hyper-religious thinking: Nerds like me don't deserve girlfriends."

This is not true, you are in the wrong church if you are being demeaned like this. To blame Christianity for this nonsense and emotional abuse is not understanding Jesus's true teachings. You have come up with some ideas that do not serve you well. Perhaps you mean far right hyper religious thinking is telling you to get right with God and maybe that is what they say but what really do they mean? You can go to a church that has a better message, one about loving God and accepting that God loves you. One that sees all people to have value.