Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
Hi everyone,
I just joined the group.
I've been very lonely actually since I moved here from another country a few years ago. I have made friends, quite a few, but something happens, not sure what, and they disappear very quickly. I also have depression and anxiety (severe at the minute), PTSD and anorexia. Since moving here it has been one crisis after another, plus the family that we thought would be here for us turned out not to be, which added to my unhappiness.
But I notice that I am a friendly, engaging person and enjoy meeting other people, I'm definitely not shy. I am also very empathetic, a good listener and really interested in people in general, what makes them tick, how they are different to someone else, I want to study psychology. So it's not meeting people that I find hard, it's maintaining the friendship.
Once they start saying let's have coffee etc, I can do it once or twice but then feel I can't cope with having to 'give something of myself to them' and I start backing off and making excuses to not meet. Even though a part of me wants to, the other part tells me I can't cope with it. So then they naturally give up asking me, after like the 12th time!
And then I find myself totally alone and very lonely, and when I'm really struggling with depression like now, I pull away even more but then find it even harder not having someone I can talk to.
I haven't spoken, texted or emailed a single person this whole week other than ny hubby and 2 kids. Who pathetic is that? No one reaches out to me to say hi or anything, not even to ask about my daughter when they know she has a very serious illness and is being put in hospital next week. It really feels like there is no one to care at all. No one to be there for me. I have this fear of my funeral - that my kids will be there but that they'll be shocked to see no one turn up for me, to realize I have no friends. I could die in the apartment and no one would call to see if I was ok.
It's horrible and devastating to be so alone, without a friend in the world. No one to lean on, no one to give me a hug. But I do think it is more might fault than anyone else's, I just don't know how to change it and how to then meet people.
I should add that in my home country, I had no problem making and keeping friends, I am still close to them.
It's just since I moved here. I do think people are very wrapped up in themselves in this day and age.
I just joined the group.
I've been very lonely actually since I moved here from another country a few years ago. I have made friends, quite a few, but something happens, not sure what, and they disappear very quickly. I also have depression and anxiety (severe at the minute), PTSD and anorexia. Since moving here it has been one crisis after another, plus the family that we thought would be here for us turned out not to be, which added to my unhappiness.
But I notice that I am a friendly, engaging person and enjoy meeting other people, I'm definitely not shy. I am also very empathetic, a good listener and really interested in people in general, what makes them tick, how they are different to someone else, I want to study psychology. So it's not meeting people that I find hard, it's maintaining the friendship.
Once they start saying let's have coffee etc, I can do it once or twice but then feel I can't cope with having to 'give something of myself to them' and I start backing off and making excuses to not meet. Even though a part of me wants to, the other part tells me I can't cope with it. So then they naturally give up asking me, after like the 12th time!
And then I find myself totally alone and very lonely, and when I'm really struggling with depression like now, I pull away even more but then find it even harder not having someone I can talk to.
I haven't spoken, texted or emailed a single person this whole week other than ny hubby and 2 kids. Who pathetic is that? No one reaches out to me to say hi or anything, not even to ask about my daughter when they know she has a very serious illness and is being put in hospital next week. It really feels like there is no one to care at all. No one to be there for me. I have this fear of my funeral - that my kids will be there but that they'll be shocked to see no one turn up for me, to realize I have no friends. I could die in the apartment and no one would call to see if I was ok.
It's horrible and devastating to be so alone, without a friend in the world. No one to lean on, no one to give me a hug. But I do think it is more might fault than anyone else's, I just don't know how to change it and how to then meet people.
I should add that in my home country, I had no problem making and keeping friends, I am still close to them.
It's just since I moved here. I do think people are very wrapped up in themselves in this day and age.
-
I know this is stupid, but after not being able to find a job after graduation for almost two years, I ended up just taking an online teaching job because I couldn't find anything in my field. I was trying to get out of teaching and I feel so devastated. I felt this crushing feeling when I signed the paperwork and when I was in the meetings. I know that sounds so dramatic but it is how I felt. It...
-
Tomorrow is National Massachusetts Day!Have you ever lived in or visited Massachusetts? If so, tell us what's great about the Bay State!
Welcome to this site. I also have that fear that no one will be at my funeral because I have so few friends. A dear friend of mine past away years ago. I wish I didn't take him for granted.
To be honest, I go back and forth. I get lonely and I make friends and am sociable and then I get so exhausted because I am not myself that I then isolate. And then the whole cycle starts again.
So now I just want to be myself whoever that is and it is hard making friends because I am still not comfortable in my own skin.
this site is lovely and people here are very kind.
Please feel free to vent anytime.
Hugs.
It sounds like it is you who has pulled back from people. So maybe you need to figure out why. Is it that you feel these are one-way relationships, since you say you are very good at listening, understanding, etc.? But, if you are feeling there is no one to care, why not reach out to a few of the folks that wanted to get together with you before? They probably backed off, because you showed you were not interested. I think people are pretty forgiving of that, if they wanted to spend time with you before, they probably still do. The thing is, do you want to use your time with them? Or are you needing friends with more common interest?
I like you and koyu have feared funeral,but have resolved myself to the fact that no one will be there, and I will be planning in advance my cremation and spreading of ashes with an organization that I only can hope follows through correctly. As far as my worldly possesions, idk, probably to an animal rescue. But i'm not going anywhere yet, cuz I have my critters to take care of, so not till after that.
It is like if I listen to their problems and their rants, they will have lunch with me. But the minute I talk about what is going on with me, they distance themselves. I feel like I am no use to them unless I keep my mouth shut and say nice things.
It has been this way ever since I was a kid. I know it is PTSD because the things my mother shared with me are not things you should say to your children. She would also take me to movies she wants to see before they had R, PG rating. I still have nightmares.
Right now I am dealing with people and their secrets. I get people having secrets but do they have to be so "I have a secret and I am not telling you" and keeping me out of the loop.
That is why it seems easier to just be alone. At least, I can spend energy trying to be nice to myself instead of putting myself out there and getting hurt all the time.
Thank you for letting me vent.
Grateful for this site.
Have a great weekend.