Is it no wonder I think it would be better if I (as Dr. Gloomy) stay away from everybody. Who the hell wants to deal with a lonely widowed man. I have actually had people make me feel WORSE by asking me why I couldn't stop her from getting as ill as she did. (Feel free to read my posts and profile page).

welcome and I am sorry for your loss.....we have another friend here who lost his wife about a little over a year ago and we have been trying to support his struggles too with grief and loss.....it is not just about loneliness but that the loneliness is about a dead wife or lover.....I just lost my Mom on Aug. 4th at 94yrs 11mn of her living...and almost 62yrs of my life...she was my rock and best friend to me too....I am sorry this has brought you here to DS but this is a good place to have internet friends of a wide variety of backgrounds....

I am bill and in St. Louis, MO

Thank you. My entire family was just insulted by my best friends wife. She is of the belief that my wife was stupid, I was stupid and the children were all stupid because none of us could see just how ill Maria was. Si I give the hell up across the board. What the hell is the use if my entire family has been determined to be a bunch of dumb asses.

your best friends wife is the dumb ass.....easy enough to understand?

even a caveman could do it....LOL I am being or trying to be funny.....with her thinking that of you what does your best friend say? she might be socially challenged.....dumb asses usually are! LOL

justin is the other guy I mentioned up above.....he lost his wife.....has grown a bunch
his name here is myfavorite.....maybe you two could share wife stories.....it should be something he might read here....I think he is in this group.....

join into some of the active community groups like friends to the end and laughter is the best medicine which has lots of stolen jokes from CL in it....CL has a joke forum that sometimes has a foolingly good joke to it.....I like to laugh.....so should you

Thanks billw, I will consider it. My best friend is not present when she talks "shitty". I don't think he would tolerate it. One thing she has in common with a lot of women these days is this retrograde, estrogen-filled, smart alecky attitude that, "I am woman here me roar, men are a bunch of dumb asses!" But I have never heard anybody (male or female) attack a family wholesale. The topic of my nephew came up today and I told her that he was a Border Patrolman for 5 years but after having 2 children at home and being shot at every day, he couldn't take it any more because of the stress, so he quit. He told me that he couldn't take being shot at and he didn't want to leave his wife and children with the possibility that he may not come home.So he made a career change to finishing his law degree to become a prosecutor. Her answer was that firstly your nephew is a coward and worse, a liar. WHAAAAAAAATT???? I told her, yeah, my entire is a bunch of a!@#$%, liars and cowards.

Truly sorry for your loss. I understand the idea of people trying to lift you by saying 'I'll pass, you'll get over it' but I look at it differently, not about getting over it, she was a major part of your life and you shouldn't get 'over' it, she should be in your heart forever. You can heal but you never get over it.
I hope you can heal and live the rest of your life with joy for the both of you. God bless

Talking to a therapist or clergy person might help. A group for people
grieving might be good to try. Ask your doctor, call a mental health
organization.

I just remembered something a neighbor told me. Her husband was only
50 years old and healthy. He died in his sleep. Stopped breathing.
She said "I'll get through it, but I'll never get over it. You aren't supposed
to get over it. You learn to live with it. It gets easier but doesn't go away.