Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
love the sinner, hate the sin
there's that saying... you should not hate the sinner even if
he is sinning because that leads to self-righteousness..
it becomes vague to me..
what if your parent continuously demeans another family member, and acts like a child instead of a parent...with ALL the immaturity and bitterness. Even if you have talked it out with her several times, yet does not change... do you still love the sinner?
Do you remain a martyr? will i just continue to stand by my mom and "accept" her as she is and pray and wait until she changes, or a positive change happens?
My mom who demeans a family member and for most my family who refuses to grow... will i just always show them love? be present for them... still honor them... treat them the same?i know they know no other way, they are the product of upbringing... but does that mean i will still establish close relations with them even if they continue to just stay in the status quo and not change..
i am angry at almost everyone on the family for not exerting much effort to change... i cannot be part of the family system of status quo... so what im doing is im detaching... im not mingling with them. i am isolating myself because honestly its hard to develop an intimate relationship with them... and they probably view me likewise...but there has been family norms that have been solidly embedded in the family.. its so hard and i feel so alone. yes i know its my choice to detach and isolate.. but its painful too. and times like today, i question whether what im doing is right or wrong. cos they are happy how things are.
there's that saying... you should not hate the sinner even if
he is sinning because that leads to self-righteousness..
it becomes vague to me..
what if your parent continuously demeans another family member, and acts like a child instead of a parent...with ALL the immaturity and bitterness. Even if you have talked it out with her several times, yet does not change... do you still love the sinner?
Do you remain a martyr? will i just continue to stand by my mom and "accept" her as she is and pray and wait until she changes, or a positive change happens?
My mom who demeans a family member and for most my family who refuses to grow... will i just always show them love? be present for them... still honor them... treat them the same?i know they know no other way, they are the product of upbringing... but does that mean i will still establish close relations with them even if they continue to just stay in the status quo and not change..
i am angry at almost everyone on the family for not exerting much effort to change... i cannot be part of the family system of status quo... so what im doing is im detaching... im not mingling with them. i am isolating myself because honestly its hard to develop an intimate relationship with them... and they probably view me likewise...but there has been family norms that have been solidly embedded in the family.. its so hard and i feel so alone. yes i know its my choice to detach and isolate.. but its painful too. and times like today, i question whether what im doing is right or wrong. cos they are happy how things are.
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I invited Bill to have dinner with me last Sunday. He wasn't willing to drive 7 hours to mid Michigan and teased me with his beautiful ribs!!! So, of course I ate alone and had cedar salmon
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
It is hard going no contact with your family, but when staying in relationship to them only harms and breaks you down it is for your own best to do so. This is also easier to do if you live on your own, if you remain living under the same roof like your family then it will be very difficult to avoid having any contact with them.
Going to therapy might also be helpful for you, or to talk to someone you trust. Just so you can get support and talk things out. You do will have support through here as well, but it is also good for you meeting someone face to face, too.
Also keep in mind; You shouldn't accept getting treated badly, whether this is your family, friends or any other people. You also don't deserve being treated with disrespect, and know that you are worth much more than how they may make you feel.
Be Strong!
We all have a need to belong and feel a connection with family, sadly this isn't always possible.
Its possible to find a sense of belonging and attachment elsewhere, it doesn't have to be by blood.
You cant change other pple, only change the way you react to them.
It might be healthier for you in the long run to walk away, it would be helpful to you to talk it over with a professional so you know in your heart and head you are doing the right thing.