More often that not

Scaredandafraid,

Hi. Same here. I seem to feel it more at night. I guess it's bcuz that's when everything starts shutting down.

That makes sense. I think that's why i set my tv on a timer at night. I have to sleep with noise or i fight going to sleep. Keeps the brain from Going to overdrive.

It's hard when everyone seems so busy or shifts thier focuses elsewhere. I has a friend in Connecticut and we would talk all through the day and night and hour long phone calls about nothing and everything. Then all of a sudden it just stopped. I don't hate her. I Just wish i understood why after 4 years

Today was my first day of senior year, and it hit me just how horrendous I am in social situations and at making friends. I'm simply not good at starting and continuing conversations with strangers, then if we should become acquaintances, opening up to them. I used to think I was just picky but I'm now starting to think it's some kind of social disorder plus trust issues.
The first part of learning is acknowledging, I guess, but jeez... people online are so much easier than people in person. Face-to-face is terrifying.
I'm worried about how my social life will be after high school. I'd rather not be lonely for the rest of my life. Having people around to chat can be amazing, even if we don't spend much time together.

It's because the eyes aren't judging. We always feel like we are being judged in some form and having to look into the eyes can be overbearing and in an online situation you can just walk awayand truly ignore whereas real people are unavoidable. And one thing to always remember you can talk to anyone and get along with anyone just five. You don't have to trust them until you know that you truly can. Giving everyone you talk to your trust right away is wrong but that doesn't mean you don't avoid everyone. Just be guarded who you let in

You’re totally right, scaredandafraid, it’s the eyes, the body language, the prior judgement. I think my problem is more that I find it very difficult to trust people. It’s hard to get to a point where I can trust someone, and then they easily lose my trust over things that’d normally seem trivial. I’m on the other side of the trust issues spectrum I suppose :)

Just be sure to make the most of this year. I'd give anything to redo high school lol. After that all you have to look forward to is adulting:)

Scaredandafraid,

That would be very hard.... getting used to talking to someone everyday for that long for 4 years and then it just stops and you don't even know why. I'm you do miss that.

I won't lie. At first it was brutal. Like the world falling in on me. But I'm able to tell myself it's her loss not mine. Yes i still think of her occasionally and wish her happiness but i refuse to stop living because of something i have no control over.

My thing is we didn't completely stop talking. But sometimes it's weeks before i hear from her and its usually just a few texts and then poof! Gone again. Just remember, that's thier problem not ours. We are better than that

. At some point you have to come to terms that it's out of your control and you did everything you can. There is nothing wrong with giving. It's letting the abandonment eat us alive that is the problem. I've lost plenty of people and was able to say oh well and move on. This one was different but I'm finally able to say oh well