Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
I've tried posting something like this in the past to the blindness group, but the traffic there is very low so this might be a better place.
I'm lonely and socially isolated. I have a significant visual impairment that is a huge barrier in forming relationships. I've been given much advice and suggestions about this (by heh, some sighted people who think they have all the answers but have no idea of what they are talking about when it comes to trying to "help" someone with a disability), but the thing is, this is not all my fault. I'm living in a sighted world where people generally shy away from the disabled. My disability is such that I cannot make out faces which means people who I have met who are not particularly comfortable around my disability can pass me by and I don't even know its them. It's an incredibly lonely and isolating disability. I really have no one I can talk to at this point other than therapists but of course that is not paricularly comforting. From my point of view I'm being required to live in a sighted world with very little sight which honestly, without the benefit of some significant social interaction, is nearly impossible to do.
I'd be interested to know if there are other disabled folks here who have or are experiencing similar situations and if they find this as isolating as I do and what they have done to try to combat it.
And just to short circuit some of the "advice" I've already gotten, yes I know, join groups with interests the same as mine , blah blah. but guess what, when you have a significant disability, even people with the same interests as you shy away from you or just plain ignore you in social situations.
I am so tired of the invisible social barrier, sometimes I just want to yell at the top of my lungs (and often do in the privacy of my own home).
Once again lonely and frustrated because there is very little I can do myself about it because ultimately, not to be lonely takes at least one other person who is willing to accept me for who I am and take the time to get to know the person and drop their prejudices about the disability.
The sad thing is most people I encounter in real life never realize the intelligent, sensitive person that I am because they are too afraid of and put off by the disability.
I am really tired of living life like this and can't imagine living for decades more having to fight these unfair, ingrained, views. Its just too hard and too unfair and no matter how hard I try, its ultimately going to suck the mental health right out of me and already is.
I'm lonely and socially isolated. I have a significant visual impairment that is a huge barrier in forming relationships. I've been given much advice and suggestions about this (by heh, some sighted people who think they have all the answers but have no idea of what they are talking about when it comes to trying to "help" someone with a disability), but the thing is, this is not all my fault. I'm living in a sighted world where people generally shy away from the disabled. My disability is such that I cannot make out faces which means people who I have met who are not particularly comfortable around my disability can pass me by and I don't even know its them. It's an incredibly lonely and isolating disability. I really have no one I can talk to at this point other than therapists but of course that is not paricularly comforting. From my point of view I'm being required to live in a sighted world with very little sight which honestly, without the benefit of some significant social interaction, is nearly impossible to do.
I'd be interested to know if there are other disabled folks here who have or are experiencing similar situations and if they find this as isolating as I do and what they have done to try to combat it.
And just to short circuit some of the "advice" I've already gotten, yes I know, join groups with interests the same as mine , blah blah. but guess what, when you have a significant disability, even people with the same interests as you shy away from you or just plain ignore you in social situations.
I am so tired of the invisible social barrier, sometimes I just want to yell at the top of my lungs (and often do in the privacy of my own home).
Once again lonely and frustrated because there is very little I can do myself about it because ultimately, not to be lonely takes at least one other person who is willing to accept me for who I am and take the time to get to know the person and drop their prejudices about the disability.
The sad thing is most people I encounter in real life never realize the intelligent, sensitive person that I am because they are too afraid of and put off by the disability.
I am really tired of living life like this and can't imagine living for decades more having to fight these unfair, ingrained, views. Its just too hard and too unfair and no matter how hard I try, its ultimately going to suck the mental health right out of me and already is.
Wow that was quite a stunning reply to a bit of constructive criticism.
Actually many people can handle constructive criticism much better than you as it turns out. I really don't want "friends" who dictate the terms of the friendship and get as offended as you when I point out that something that has been said makes me uncomfortable.
"But the one thing you can't argue is that you just alienated a possible friend by your actions. Is that how you want to live your entire life?"
Given the fact that you seem so keen on offering advice about something you don't know much about but so reluctant to take it, I don't think we could be friends anyway. And, you have absolutely no idea about me or how I live or have lived my life.
Perhaps you should work on yourself a bit more before giving others advice and judging them.
I hope you have a good day nonetheless.
I do much of my shopping online these days since most of the time its easier than dealing with mobility issues in crowds and is certainly easier than having to try and find that certain something on an shelves when I cannot see the signage and have difficulty finding store workers to ask. Online shopping is certainly convenient but of course doesn't help me feel less isolated.
All the best to you and it is good to know others understand where I am coming from.
Then someone makes a joke about it and after I point at that wasn't the most appropriate thing to say, continues to defend themselves and ties my inability to laugh about this thing that has had continual irrevocable severe negative effects on my life to my difficulty in meeting people. In a support group no less.
I couldn't have made the point any clearer on my own if I had tried. Would someone make a joke about the death of a friend's loved one when that friend had just said what a difficult time they were having dealing with that loss? Would someone make a joke about the color of another friend's skin when that feature has isolated that person? I wonder, do folks who require wheelchairs to get around find people who are able to walk making jokes about their plight and then chastising them for not laughing along?
My days of being a good little visually impaired person and laughing along when sighted people make jokes about my disability are long gone. They have no idea the incredible pain and misery this disability has caused me. And in some cases they persist or chastise me for not having a sense of humor about it even after I have tried to communicate the extent of my pain, Dren is certainly not the first callous person I've come across in this respect and I'm sure won't be the last. But I refuse to play along any longer. I'm tired of feeling humiliated by insensitive people. I have had it happen far too often, and it just makes this horrid disability all the more difficult to live with.
Fortunately DS does have an ignore feature which I will make use of.
Am I overly sensitive? I guess that's a matter of opinion. My opinion, which is the one that matters to me, is that I have a right to be as sensitive as I want because I'm the only person who knows how I have suffered because of my disability and because of others' insensitivity to me because of it. Believe me, when I talk to people, I generally avoid talking about my disability unless they mention it, and I carry on humorous conversations that have nothing to do with my disability. But, I came here and started this thread, because I was feeling pain because of my disability that I cannot talk to anyone else about. Thus the definition of a support group.
Anyway, something tells me this thread has probably gone on for too long at this point. I appreciate the genuinely empathic responses I have gotten during it and I do know now there are others in similar places of pain who feel similarly to me which is my big take away.
I can relate to you and know how you feel about your situation. While I do not have a visual impairment, I do have a physical disability and have been bound to a wheelchair for almost 11 years now. I too get treated differently when I'm out in public and it makes me furious. As much as I hate being ignored or treated like a second class citizen, the one thing I hate the most is the stares. We aren't circus freaks for you to gawk at! We are living in a very visual and physical world which puts us at a great disadvantage, but we must take the lemons that life has given us and make lemonade out of them. If you'd like to talk more about this topic, feel free to send me a message anytime you want. I'm sure we both have a lot in common to talk about.
Also, if you'd like to know more about me or my disability, check out my first post here: http://tinyurl.com/yarocw7