Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
I've tried posting something like this in the past to the blindness group, but the traffic there is very low so this might be a better place.
I'm lonely and socially isolated. I have a significant visual impairment that is a huge barrier in forming relationships. I've been given much advice and suggestions about this (by heh, some sighted people who think they have all the answers but have no idea of what they are talking about when it comes to trying to "help" someone with a disability), but the thing is, this is not all my fault. I'm living in a sighted world where people generally shy away from the disabled. My disability is such that I cannot make out faces which means people who I have met who are not particularly comfortable around my disability can pass me by and I don't even know its them. It's an incredibly lonely and isolating disability. I really have no one I can talk to at this point other than therapists but of course that is not paricularly comforting. From my point of view I'm being required to live in a sighted world with very little sight which honestly, without the benefit of some significant social interaction, is nearly impossible to do.
I'd be interested to know if there are other disabled folks here who have or are experiencing similar situations and if they find this as isolating as I do and what they have done to try to combat it.
And just to short circuit some of the "advice" I've already gotten, yes I know, join groups with interests the same as mine , blah blah. but guess what, when you have a significant disability, even people with the same interests as you shy away from you or just plain ignore you in social situations.
I am so tired of the invisible social barrier, sometimes I just want to yell at the top of my lungs (and often do in the privacy of my own home).
Once again lonely and frustrated because there is very little I can do myself about it because ultimately, not to be lonely takes at least one other person who is willing to accept me for who I am and take the time to get to know the person and drop their prejudices about the disability.
The sad thing is most people I encounter in real life never realize the intelligent, sensitive person that I am because they are too afraid of and put off by the disability.
I am really tired of living life like this and can't imagine living for decades more having to fight these unfair, ingrained, views. Its just too hard and too unfair and no matter how hard I try, its ultimately going to suck the mental health right out of me and already is.
I'm lonely and socially isolated. I have a significant visual impairment that is a huge barrier in forming relationships. I've been given much advice and suggestions about this (by heh, some sighted people who think they have all the answers but have no idea of what they are talking about when it comes to trying to "help" someone with a disability), but the thing is, this is not all my fault. I'm living in a sighted world where people generally shy away from the disabled. My disability is such that I cannot make out faces which means people who I have met who are not particularly comfortable around my disability can pass me by and I don't even know its them. It's an incredibly lonely and isolating disability. I really have no one I can talk to at this point other than therapists but of course that is not paricularly comforting. From my point of view I'm being required to live in a sighted world with very little sight which honestly, without the benefit of some significant social interaction, is nearly impossible to do.
I'd be interested to know if there are other disabled folks here who have or are experiencing similar situations and if they find this as isolating as I do and what they have done to try to combat it.
And just to short circuit some of the "advice" I've already gotten, yes I know, join groups with interests the same as mine , blah blah. but guess what, when you have a significant disability, even people with the same interests as you shy away from you or just plain ignore you in social situations.
I am so tired of the invisible social barrier, sometimes I just want to yell at the top of my lungs (and often do in the privacy of my own home).
Once again lonely and frustrated because there is very little I can do myself about it because ultimately, not to be lonely takes at least one other person who is willing to accept me for who I am and take the time to get to know the person and drop their prejudices about the disability.
The sad thing is most people I encounter in real life never realize the intelligent, sensitive person that I am because they are too afraid of and put off by the disability.
I am really tired of living life like this and can't imagine living for decades more having to fight these unfair, ingrained, views. Its just too hard and too unfair and no matter how hard I try, its ultimately going to suck the mental health right out of me and already is.
I DID NOTHING TO DESERVE MY DISABILITY AND THE WAY I AM TREATED BY 99% OF THE PEOPLE I COME IN CONTACT WITH IS RUDE, ISOLATING AND UNFAIR. I AM SO TIRED OF IT. THIS IS NOT MY PROBLEM, IT IS SOCIETY'S PROBLEM FOR MISTREATING ME AND PEOPLE LIKE ME BUT WE ARE THE VICTIMS. I AM BEING UNJUSTLY DENIED OF A BASIC HUMAN RIGHT AND NEED TO BE TREATED AS WELL AS SIGHTED PEOPLE ARE TREATED IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS.
One thing I know is certain though, and that is God exists and He loves you more than you can imagine. His Son Jesus suffered on a cross so mankind has a way to be forgiven of every sin, once we accept His free Gift of Salvation. We live in a fallen world, teeming with evil, disease & injustice. It will remain so, until Christ returns, just as He said He would. This is our world's greatest Hope. I have trusted Jesus many years now, and He has sustained me through numerous calamities. I can't imagine living without knowing God has my back!
I am praying you will turn to God's Word, but first locate a Church near you that would be willing to transport you, or a friend take you? It would also be very beneficial to join a Bible study, so you could ask questions and have one on one interaction. You will find the most kind and compassionate who love the Lord. That is because once we are committed to serving Jesus, He begins to transform us to behave more and more as He does.
I hope this message gives you encouragement, and I am happy to be here for you, any time.
Thanks for raising the topic.
Hugs, sweet girl. I'm thinking of you.
Have you found being on the MS support group helpful?
I'm not giving up, I've just been extremely frustrated lately and this is the only place I have to vent and the only place I can find people who are experiencing similar issues, ie this is the only place I can get support from people who understand.
What would I do if I saw a blind person or handicapped person sitting in a public place?"
Now ask yourself if you were the blind person in a public place wanting to meet people. Think carefully. Ah, you cannot see who is passing you, you cannot see who has just sat down by you. I'm not totally blind, but the situation is similar. It is an isolating disability for that reason. One is not receiving information about their surroundings that most others are receiving. 80% of the information you receive comes through your eyes, assuming you have normal senses. Imagine this, you cannot see people's faces to read their expressions or even recognize who they are even if they are well known to you, you cannot see their body language. One study shows that over 80% of communication in face to face situations is via body language, sighted people I'm sure aren't even consciously aware of that. If you can't see it, imagine the difficulty you might have trying to meet new people.
And honestly, many people the disability attracts are those who are trying to take advantage of the disabled person. Imagine how that might affect your mental attitude and how it might influence you in trying to make new relationships.
If you have not lived with a disability like this, you really just don't get it. Not trying to be rude, just honest.
@Dren
I see where you're coming from. (Sorry bad joke)
I know you didn't mean to be rude, but things like this do make blind people feel unnecessarily seperate. We all use idioms. We blind people understand exactly what "I see where you're coming from", "I'll see you later" mean. One does not have to feel bad or chuckle or whatever about saying them to blind people, and in fact, as I said, doing so makes blind people unnecessarily feel seperate and uncomfortable. We have enough real issues to make us feel seperate and uncomfortable, we don't need people who are self-conscious of "sight" idioms adding to that list. We are people, just talk to us like that.
Thanks and have a good day.
to fluer-i havent had anyone be that blatently rude to me and im sorry those people were such jerks but people think im faking or trying to get symathy *bc* im only 19 and i do have good days where i dont need my cane. one time i was at the mall and i have a motorized scooter i use for when im gonna be out n about for long periods of time. the stores are so packed i cant take it in there so i bring my cane along an park it right outside the shop for the few minutes ill be in there. one day some kids tried to steal it while i was in the store. luckily my brother was there and stopped them. i couldnt believe it when he told me i was so shocked someone would actually even *think* to steal someones scooter.