Well you ask and I have a form of depression among other issues that shall we say make life interesting as hell at times. But I'm always up to learn something new in life, that grey brain matter is a muscle needing exercise too. Prayers for peace today.

Has the doctor suggested medication?

Yes, I have tried several different SSRI's (all of which made me gain significant weight). I went off those and started Wellbutrin, which helps with my motivation issues (and weight loss), but I found that it does nothing for my anxiety, only makes that worse. I used to try Xanax for anxiety, but found I was getting dependent on it.

Therapy has been helping more...but I keep telling my therapist that my situation needs to change and I think I'll be able to climb out of this new social anxiety and struggle with depression.

Do you have any friends or family that are understanding? It sounds like you need someone who will listen, not necessarily someone who will tell you what to do to fix it. I have suffered from depression for quite some time and feeling lonely as well is a terrible combination. I can also relate to wanting to end it all, as I have been there too. Having even one person who is there for you no matter what can make all the difference.

Hi, I can relate to the loneliness and depression, and I have tried wellbutrin- well i was on it for six months until last week. Just really watch your mood while you are on that. I felt like it was working for depression, and I was fine as long as everything was going relatively fine during my day. If anything bad happened, I went into a rage. I have busted holes in my drywall which i now have to pay for- Ive been in this apartment nine years and never did anything like that! I figured that, wow, I must need a dosage increase, Im really messed up- so i would ask my doctor to increase it. Last week, after punching my bf in the face ( this had become common for me- he deserved it but STILL- thats NOT me), I thought: something is really really wrong. I felt so not in control of myself, and I recognized the feeling from about 12 years ago, when I had a meth problem. Yes, it was like i was on meth ( not quite SO bad, but similar). The sex was crazy too, which is something I attributed to the medication in a positive way. But all of it was very inlike me. I looked it up, and welbutrin has made a lot of people quick to anger and rage. Just warning you, because if you are going through a rough situation, you can attribute the anger to the situation, and almost miss that its the medication. And yes, for people with anxiety it doesnt work, which is what I discovered while researching it. Still, its worked great for others, it just must not work with some peoples chemistry. Anyeay, good luck, feel free yo message me anytime

Hello, I just wanted to let you know that I can relate to your loneliness. I had terrible PPD after my daughter was born 7 years ago. I still suffer with depression, anxiety but unlike you I am highly introverted and have been most of my life. I extrovert at work because it is required of me. I force myself to be around people socially but I think I understand that, like you ,I can't "be myself." Honestly, most aquaintances and friends want to be around happy people (who doesn't?) so I have learned that I can only confide in a very select few friends - and only sometime because they eventually find it taxing as well - and really, only my husband. Otherwise I wear a mask to socialize daily. I don't think I have helped you in any way but just wanted to let you know that I relate to your loneliness. Feel free to confide here or pm me. This is a place where we can be ourselves. :)

I understand the loneliness for different reasons. But it's good to reach out. Sometimes it's a very deep emptiness inside. It's like that expression, alone in a crowded room. Hugs