Loneliness Support Group

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...

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insertawittyusername 10/04/2016

I've never had that one true friend. 27 years and I've not managed it once. At best I've had acquaintences, those who hang out with you purely you know one or two people in the same group, basically everything but a true connection.

As a person, I'm not demanding and fussy. Okay, that's a lie, I am a little bit (aren't we all?), but I don't ask for a great deal in the grand scheme of things. If you're a person who is happy to flip from the serious to the frivilous in a conversation, I'll probably get along just fine with you. And honestly, liking sports and a beer or two won't hurt your chances either. But I've never had the one connection I've wanted more than anything, and I fear time is running out for it to happen. I've tried everything without any luck.

I suppose you either become ultraindependent and don't need anyone (at least so you say) or you become clingy and desperate to adapt for the people you want to befriend, and I've been guilty of both in the past. I accept in life you can't and won't please everyone, but when you've spent most of your life feeling lonely, logic goes out the window and you feel this need to be liked by everyone.

Despite all this, I would take crippling loneliness over something that is shallow and meaningless. I would rather be lonely for the reminder of my days than handle that again.

sonnycamehome 10/04/2016

I have had a good friend or two in my time, and I am a good deal older than you, but I struggle now as I am older to make connections beyond acquaintances...it seems everyone has already forged bonds in their younger years and isn't looking to make a best friend or even just a friend...I think this is a problem that so many of us have, and as you said we are craving meaningful relationships, not the shallow and meaningless type so it is even a bit harder. There's some nice company here in this group and at least it's a starting place and people can identify with you.

mega54 10/04/2016

I have been lonely, right now I have more or less isolated myself depression. I learned you can't body at a young age! Yet, I think always hope.
Perhaps the desire you feel makes it harder because you want a friend so badly. People sense need and tend to flee. If you relax a little you will find that most people have something to share with you. If you can rejoice in that, perhaps an acquaintance will become a friend. In any case, this is a place to start experiencing people. It is easier to do here because of the distance. If something goes badly, you select "Unfriend" and that is that. Real life does not allow an ending to be so clean and neat.
In an case, I am hoping you will have some good experiences here.

Debbalina 10/04/2016

There is two sides to every coin. I made that "one friend" a few years ago - we became very close - but in the end she trampled on my feelings and ended up proving she was not as caring and as good a friend as I originally thought. Boy did that hurt. Now I am much more guarded.....and lonely too.

Jenjen 10/04/2016

Yup, me too. Had a best friend for many years, then got dumped when things got a bit tragic in my life. "And youuuuu left me, just when I needed you most..."

She can bite my ass.

Forging adult friendships is hard. I always have this fear that someone might think I'm hitting on them. What happened to the days of sharing a PB&J and making friends with each other, providing one of you wasn't smelly? I wear deodorant for God's sake and I'm not opposed to passing out candy for positive reinforcement. Still hearing crickets, though.

Sock puppets. That's what life has come down to. Sock puppets and vodka.

mechengr55 10/05/2016

I had one true friend for over 20 years. A co-worker. It was always friendship and nothing else. When I was single she was married. Then I got married and later she became single. Then she re-married and later I became single again. Neither of us ever wanted to violate our marriages, but we both knew that if we were ever single at the same time, we would have quickly become more than friends. But it will never be. She became very ill suddenly in April and passed away soon after. So now I am lost without her, and at my age don't think I will ever find another friend like her.

koolman 10/09/2016

I feel ya. As far as being "demanding and fussy", accept that life, and love, aren't perfect, you can't control everything, be flexible and yet be warm and sociable. Keep putting yourself out there in a warm and sociable way. You'll be surprised at what good can come of that!

Lonestar 10/09/2016

I'm glad I'm not alone in finding it hard to make new friends. I am hesitant to try to make friends with co-workers as I have see that go wrong many times. My therapist is suggesting to find something I like and join a group. She said when you are doing something you like, people find you interesting and want to be your friend. Worth a try. I'm planning on volunteering at the Food bank and joining a community chorus. Both are outside my comfort zone to do alone but I'm going to give it a try. Just one thing. Anyone try this successfully?

mechengr55 10/09/2016

Lonestar, I know what you mean about friendships with co-workers. That's why the loss of my friend hurt so much. She was one-in-a-million, and I don't see a friend like that coming along again, especially at work!

LonelyGirlL 10/10/2016

I know how you feel. I feel the same way.

MendingAgain 10/20/2016

me too.

standbyme 10/20/2016

I'll be 27 soon and I've never had a true friendship either. I know what you mean about everyone else already having their friendships. I wish it was a better way for people like us to meet up in person and be in the company of others who understand our pain.

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