I've never had that one true friend. 27 years and I've not managed it once. At best I've had acquaintences, those who hang out with you purely you know one or two people in the same group, basically everything but a true connection.
As a person, I'm not demanding and fussy. Okay, that's a lie, I am a little bit (aren't we all?), but I don't ask for a great deal in the grand scheme of things. If you're a person who is happy to flip from the serious to the frivilous in a conversation, I'll probably get along just fine with you. And honestly, liking sports and a beer or two won't hurt your chances either. But I've never had the one connection I've wanted more than anything, and I fear time is running out for it to happen. I've tried everything without any luck.
I suppose you either become ultraindependent and don't need anyone (at least so you say) or you become clingy and desperate to adapt for the people you want to befriend, and I've been guilty of both in the past. I accept in life you can't and won't please everyone, but when you've spent most of your life feeling lonely, logic goes out the window and you feel this need to be liked by everyone.
Despite all this, I would take crippling loneliness over something that is shallow and meaningless. I would rather be lonely for the reminder of my days than handle that again.
My insomnia and sleep problems have seemed to have gotten worse over the last few months while being quarantined at home. Im not sure why, since I dont have to get up early or go anywhere really. But I still find myself either having trouble falling asleep or waking up super early and not being able to fall back asleep. Ive been staying active most days, and just started graduate school so have...
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