thats ur call, no one can tell you whether thats a good or bad idea.
if ur looking for a girl that wants a long term relationship, chances are ur not going to find that by bringing some random girl home from a bar.
but if thats something you think you need to do then go for it. if it will help you and over time maybe lessen ur loneliness. but no one can really say its good or bad unless they are judging you for what you are doing.

Hi...I'm not sure bringing a different lady home all the time is going to fill the gap of loneliness that you are experiencing. It could actually make you feel worse in the end. I think with your background, it would be best to continue on in some type of therapy to help with the feelings you are having and to work on finding things that you enjoy doing that are not harmful to you. You are only 21 and have SO much time ahead of you to find that special lady. In the meantime, it would be so incredible to find your passions and live out what brings you happiness until she comes along.

Perhaps you could find some clubs to try out and enjoy or even consider getting a pet (maybe a dog that you could walk and have for company)?

(((hugs)))

I don't see a problem with wanting company though I wouldn't mess up my liver doing it but It's your liver so I guess you can do whatever you want.

I think that you are seeking a deeper companionship than what you will find by going to the bars and taking home different people, it's deeper than the issue of drinking or not drinking, but it sounds to me as if this won't fulfill the deeper loneliness - you will need to find a way of dealing with that seperate from these actions - no one can look to others to fill that void, and until you are happy with yourself this method of filling the void won't work and will only be temporary. It is up to you to decide how you feel about it, but it sounds to me as if you thought it was ok, you would not be on here asking if it was...

I completely understand where you're coming from... I'm the same way. I want a committed, long term relationship, but can only seem to find temporary company. I mean, I take the company when I can (though it's not sexual by any means, it's more so just sitting and talking) but it's not what I want. I want the real deal, and it's hard as heck to find. But I have faith that it'll happen for all of us some day. You'll find your special someone, however, bars and clubs might not be the right venue to scope. Real women, who want a real guy and a real relationship are out there. Promise. You'll find her one day. Trust me :)

Hey dumb, I think healings gave you a great suggestion, get a pet! Preferrably a dog which would give you reason to venture out and meet people. There are places you could take your dog, like dog runs or walking trails around a lake. Would be a decent place to meet people and you would'nt have to drink! These days it's not safe meeting people in bars and many of the people in those bars are likely to have an alcohol addiction and you would'nt want to get mixed up in that. Good Luck, hope things work out for you.

I'm not sure if i think u should do this. I'm still thinking, hummmmm.

I personally know what it means to drink...I am sober 16+yrs now...So I would never drink if I was to go to a bar to meet a gal...and I could go with confidence that all I would do is have soda and chat with the people around me...but why would I? I want a class act not another drunk who needs to sober up...not that all who go to a bar are but the chances are better that they do drink much....if they are there more than at home it is a problem...I never had success picking up a chick in a bar and going home for sex....met only one former girlfriend in a bar and later got to go out together...but I learned she was a bit of a loose woman on rebound who was out with her friends because her ex fiance had dumped her for another woman.

My fear in you doing this is the STD world you risk...even more than that you feel comfortable drinking with a liver you have damaged from suicide attempt....what resulted in suicide attempt may return from hurt feelings on a gal you fall head over heels with in love from a bar who is a drinker and doer of other men who come to the bars! I would not chose that for myself...and I do not do that choice even in times of desires....

prostitutes? Whoa I am outta here.....

I know in my heart that it is not a good thing to do, i want to find a good girl, one that is hard working and likes her family and wants to make things work, but its hard to find someone like that. I am really not a player at all, i just like to listen and say the right thing back, i only wanted to get some other opinions on this problem of mine, i mean if i have a talent of getting people to know me, shouldn't i use that all the time before i lose it. I cant just wait around and pass up every opportunity to be with someone just cause im waiting for one to show up, and it might never show up either. I hate being lonely, it makes me feel unwanted and unloved for so many reasons that i sometimes hate going out at all cause i always see someone with someone else and i think that there is something wrong with me so i dont deserve someone at all. I dont know anymore, i sometimes feel like my life is passing me by and i am not doing anything about it. oh well

dumbidiot a lot of the times, especially with men, it can take 20 - 30 years before you meet the woman you really love. So in the mean time, you have to work on ways for u not to feel lonely, by doing things for "yourself" and be patient. Instead of wanting to turn into a codependant. Go out and volunteer to help people that r less fortunate than u. Become a big brother to kids that dont have a dad or family. Be some kind of a roll model of some kind. But it sounds like your mind is already made up to go out and screw everybody you can. So u should just go do that.

20 to 30 years, jeez. Fuck it then i guess this is a good thing to do then in my situation, especialy if there is no such thing as good love for that long of a time. I already am doing things for myself, i am getting a career and all this other crap for my future planed out already, but i find it odd that people that dont have a good standing in life, like education and money and places to live are always with someone that is what kills me so slowly when people tell me to wait it out, and all i want to say is what am i waiting for anyway. i dont know i have nothing to do in my neighborhood, i wanted to take up yoga or some sort of dance class, but i dont want people to think i am gay. Fuck it, i got needs that have to be explored and no need to wait it out, life is short anyway for me to worry about finding something real anyhow.

dumbidiot I hate to tell ya but, u can't have both. You can't have whores "and" have the girl u r meant to be with, because then u r turning yourself into a male whore. She'll know it, she'll feel it and she'll walk away from u so fast. You'll lose her before u even get her.That's the way it works. And it sounds like u r about to learn that lesson the hard way You'll see. :) :)

I get what you are saying, i do, but im not getting any good girls being a good guy, so what is big deal of being a man whore, will i get passed up by the good ones if i do this, yea probably but are they even worht being with me if they think so shallow of me like that. Fuck i dont think a girl is a whore if she sleeps with everyone but i have to wait for a girl that has had every guy with her already, why cant i do the same thing? Waiting for my life to pass by sucks, i see my friends get into relatioships for no reason and they dont try to haave one at all, i want to be with someone but i guess i cant so ill just use the girls that want to be used i guess. I am a good person, i see no reason to wait it out lol,

dumbidiot Let me try to explain this. Now pay attention, because u havent much so far with me. Let's look at what's already happening. Yeah u may have needs, everybody does. So we'll get that out of your way first. You already mentioned yoga or dance. Which one do u want the most? Whichever one it is, do that one. Your dance or yoga partner just might be the girl of your dreams. Because u r lettin FEAR kick in, you just might miss it. FEAR of what people think of u dancing just might cause u to pass her right up. Your plans of setting your life in place w/ stability are coming along pretty well I think. You got your financial priorities in line. that's good. So instead of getting frustrated because u r not gettin lay'd, let what u have already planned out and done for yourself, play "itself" out. Keep up with doing your dreams and desires, and the rest, and maybe even including the right girlfriend, will come to pass.

I am afraid of being alone and dieing without showing someone that i can make them happy that is all i want. I am a good person i put other ahead of me, but i feel like maybe if i can sleep around then that is my reward for doing these deeds in my life, and not having a relationship.i thought i would be with someone now, i really did and i hate myself for it. I will have to think this over, I want a good Wife not some loose party girl i guess. I can wait for something to happen for me and maybe it does and doesn't and if it doesent well all i will have then is a lot of regret. I always regret for not sleeping with some if i got a chance, and i would probably regret it more if i did. I hope i can have someone come in my life one day.