when I was in my early thirties I took square dance lessons with women and men in their 50-90yr range....I enjoyed the fact that I had some friends who I was learning to interact with in social ways which was something good for me because my other way was to smoke dope and drink....so I found it interesting that you want to dance...I think that is a good thing...I hate to say it but nobody is going to think you gay for learning to do some special form of dance like Imperial dancing or what they call swing dancing...it is actually good healthy thing for meeting women who are good and healthy and interested in interacting with men in a fun way outside of strictly drinking to dance...

so instead of taking to dancing in the bars where alcohol is prevalent I would check with in social clubs of your area for swing dance lessons or Imperial dance lessons...sometimes they are advertised in the newspapers or on the website of the local radio or tv stations...get involved in healthy activities like that and you will go a whole lot further than damaging your liver with booze and possible STD's from unprotected sex with questionable gals in bars....

dumbidiot reply #15, There u go, now u r starting to get it. You're doin great. With your mind set now shifting in the "right direction" when it comes to women, and when it comes to the man u need to be in order to get that woman, it's time for u to just "float" inside of that", and see where "that" current takes u. You're doin good, just "float it out" until u see it come to pass. Then u move onto the next "right thing". and "float inside of" that one. And on and on and on. Sigh,,,, boy, u were a tough one.

I'm guessing that you don't care for dogs or care to have one since you didn't mention my suggestion. People, young people find their soul-mates all of the time so I don't believe that you are doomed to wait until you are 50 or so! So try to have some hope atleast ok. I am not saying that you are needy or that you act needy, but sometimes when we want something so badly, we can come off that way and it can turn people off. Been there, done that, and I've never had good results. So If this is the case with you, I would suggest that even if you feel needy, try not to act needy. Be sure and take care of you and other needs you may have if you can. I don't know, it's just a thought....

Let me start off by saying I didn't read every response, so I apologize if I repeat anything....

Dumbidiot, I love your name. I think it's great. And I love that everybody keeps using it. LOL. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to make light of the situation, and I totally feel your pain. That's just my sense of humor for you. :)

(I think I may be experiencing a mood swing of lightheartedness right now, hmmmmm)

Anyhoo, a couple of things here....

You are young. You have plenty of time to find "the one". (which, btw, I don't believe there is only ONE person out there in this ginormous world that can make you happy). Just keep being you and it will happen. But please don't comprimise your health or your morals in the search for companionship.
Also, unless you either live in a huge city or plan on going to a different town to pick up your little hoochi mamas, your reputation will likely suffer in the end.
We learn from our mistakes, so don't look at past relationships as "failed" relationships, look at them as lessons learned for the next relationship. At 21 I'm sure you have more learning to do.
And if you are bound and determined to either risk STDs with lutty girlsmor find your soulmate, try a dating site. I liked OkCupid.com and Plentyoffish.com

I truly hope you can get this figured out. Good luck and ((((hugs)))) to you.

i do care for dogs, heck i care for all animals, i really do, but i hate doing things by myself all the time, it makes me look like a social inept and i am not, yea i look weird but doesent mean you have to not talk to me at all. I am kind of needy, but its hard to feel like you belong when you are alone and all your friends are already moving in with what they think are their future wives. I have to stop caring anymore, but if i dont even try then what is the point, anymore? i mean if love finds you, then someone must be looking at some point. I dont care anymore, i like the floating in life methaphor, but sometimes even driftwood keeps floating, so it is not a guarantee either. I just have to not give a care about what happens in my life anymore, i tried too many dating sites already and dint get any dates at all out of it so fuck it i wont try that.