As I have no idea how to start this, I'm just going to tell my "story". As I child I had a few friend and that was all fine because I didn't (and still don't) like the other kids all that much anyway. Then I moved on to the next school were kids were "smarter" (Dutch schools are sorted by intelligence), I was around people that I could relate with more and actually ended up with a pretty big group of friends. That for reasons I still don't know stopped talking to me about halfway through the second year. Like completely treating me like air. Around the same time I ended up becoming friends with this other girl which basically broke any ties I would have left. She went to a different school at the end of the year. The third year I was alone. I still say with the old group in the breaks because, I had nowhere else to go and I didn't want to make it that easy to get rid of me. What you don't like having me around? Why don't you just say so? But not to worry the next year we all chose the subjects we wanted to follow and classes were mixed giving me the chance to meet new people. I became friend with some "gymnasium"-girls (another level in schooling Dutch system is hard to explain and not that relevant) however they had this big friend-circle and I don't exactly liked all of them. I also had some classes with this girl that at this point I'm going to invent a name for because otherwise it will get confusing. Let's call her Katy. Katy spended her breaks with the geeks (it's not labeled that obviously at my school but let's just pretend) even tho she isn't much of a geek herself. Her main interest is sports but she can't sport because of an injury. So anyways I ended up having more and more breaks with her and by extend the rest of the geeks. At one point I needed to make a choice the groups were to big to juggle and stay close to at the same time. So as I didn't like some of the gymnasiums and ended up outside the conversation way too much I chose the geeks. Where I would by circumstance become friends with Carol because of Katy. So here's the thing, Carol is slightly autistic with is hard to notice but doesn't make her someone you can count on. We're now going into the fifth year, a new boy, Vince, joins the school. He's smart and charismatic and somehow decides to join our group. But then he and Katy get a relationship so whenever both of them were there they might as well be not. I end up with Katy. This is were I start feeling lonely. Because I feel like i need to have friend I can count on. Katy and Vince are both people I can have fun with but I don't see a serious conversation happening. Katy is being more and more absent. Not only because of Vince but we have only one class together and it's one were we both need our concentration. I told her how I felt and she tried to console me with "but you have Carol right?".  At that point I already felt like, no I can't deal with having her as my only close friend. So ofcourse it gets worse. Katy fails her classes and leaves school to go to some rich kid place where she can get her degree in one year without having to redo the fifth. As the sixth year started (which is a couple of months ago) we start seeing a lot less of Vince. Great friend. Apparently there's no reason to stick around now that's Katy is gone.