I dont understand my life / feelings.  I have been alone for so long plodding not doing great but coping.  Then the lonliness just got too much, back in February I made the decision to get myself out there.  I went on my first night out in over a decade with my one remaining friend it was reasonable night but we were just to nervous to talk to anyone so vowed to try again asap.  Then lockdown happened making that impossible.  The frustration and loneliness just grew and grew and Im really struggling now im barely coping.  I appreciate Im in a lot better position than a lot of people during these horrendous times - Im physically well and managed to work throughout but mentally im not copying my area has just gone into Tier 3 and there seems to be no end in sight.  Im really lonely and would love to meet new friends and I odviously would also like to meet a partner eventually but right now I just need some company.  I made the decision to try to make online friends I joined a site to make friends.   After posting my profile I looked at other profiles but couldnt quite find it in me to make contact straight away so vowed I would go back.  Within the hour I have three responses which was a shock but filled me with joy - I thought I would have to make all the effort to make contact.  But why am I not happy now that is wrong with me?  Its not a dating site but all replys where from men when I was more interested in contact from women but this in itself is not an issue - two I not sure I am contacting it didnt feel right but one I instantly contacted.  We have messaged a few times so why am I so lost this is a good positive step but Im finding it difficult to reply to his last message Im very confused and def over thinking everthing.  His last message was just full of all he had done in the last few days it find of knocked me sideways.  He spoke all all the things he done and his friends and I feel I have nothing to bring to this - I think I thought everyone on the site would have similar situations to myself, would be lonely and perhaps looking to rebuild a broken life or had move areas and didnt know anyone.  But the site is full of people with rich full lifes and its making me feel more of an oddball.  I also not used to having online contact with people I do not use Social Media - I dont understand it  -so I was always going to find this difficult.  I find face to face much easier Im not even a phone person.  So any advice would be appreciated I am going to contact some others I have seen but its daunting and after the initial contact Im not really sure what happens next or even if its for me.  I rather go to a group event - face to face but thats not an option right now and I dont want to hurt anyones feeling if I cant handle this.  I already feel guilty I havent replied yet