I think sometimes the people that are around healthy people don't know how to handle being around them when they become ill so they just leave. Peace.

I'm sorry that happened to you. You didn't deserve that.

A lot of people will get freaked out when something bad happens, and it's like they don't know how to act around you so it's just easier to stay away. Whether it's a physical problem, or something emotional like loneliness and depression, it seems like a lot of people just don't want to be reminded that life has a dark side and bad things can happen.

This probably isn't a good example, but when I was in my twenties a friend of mine committed suicide. Overnight, my family and all my other friends got very weird around me and started avoiding me more. I was still the same person, but they treated me completely different -- like they were afraid I would burst out crying at any moment so it was easier just to avoid me.

Anyway, this probably isn't coming out well but I just want to say that I understand how you feel. I don't think anybody should be fated to be alone, or it's in anybody's nature. But I do think that some of us exist more on the fringes of life for one reason or another, and many of the so-called "normal" people don't know how to handle that, or maybe they're afraid it's contagious or something, so it's easier to stay away.

happened to me with my high school best friend...when I got psychotic from my drug use he dumped me....but then I also got in fist fight with him around then too and sent him to hospital in drunken rages...as I drove him to ER and then puked in bathroom there for how drunk I was...oh I was sick drunk driver so I got in AA...I have seen him couple times in years since but the connection is gone to having friendship.....

There's a special kind of loneliness that people with serious illness face. Friends who you *thought* were friends will suddenly drop you like a hot potato. Others who stick by you still seem very far away. It becomes hard to relate to healthy, "normal" people because we're dealing with heavy sh*t on a daily basis and sometimes the concerns of others seem so petty. I think healthy people sometimes get self-conscious or feel guilty because of their good fortune, and so they stay away. Since you used to have many friends, it's obviously not in your nature to be alone. It just takes more work to make those connections now, unfortunately.

Wow, that's a lot to face - it is such a drastic change! It is true people don't understand or shy away when this happens. If your attitude towards life has changed, people will sense this as well, and not know how to relate. It's a tough spot to be in, because of course your attitude has changed, but part of the reason is has changed is lack of interaction with others like you are used to. I don't have any problem with friends that are disabled, but if they are angry or down on the world I will have a harder time relating. Are there any groups you could join, things that don't require a lot of action, like board games, movies, etc? You don't sound like it is in your nature to be alone, I think maybe you are just looking at the wrong avenues for friendship - you need more depth now, quality rather than quantity. A true friend is hard to find, for anyone, disabled or not. Keep trying though, and meanwhile try to find yourself, and who you really are - and I think you'll get there.