I know how you feel, I've been there, done that and maybe one day, will write a book on it. They have volunteers on help lines that you can call and talk to. I've done it a few times and it does help, sometimes, to talk to someone who doesn't know you and doesn't have any preconceived notions about you. The times I did, it was like a big weight was lifted off of me. It was nice to talk to someone and have them listen and not interrupt you to tell you what they think or what they would do and what you should do or why you shouldn't feel the way you do or that you are crazy for feeling the way you do and, there's no judgement, their responses to everything you say is genuine, because, they are not judging you or looking for more things to judge you on. Anyway, that's been my experience and I just wanted to give you an option for release. I pray things get better and you feel stronger.

Yes, people can really hurt you. Thats why I lost interest in people. I want to do something( work) without seening anyone. True friends will only support you. I think you need to see a therapist help you with that issue.

Tired51 thank you!!

I am the same way I am so afraid

I'd say you should at some stage open up to someone you trust and who you know loves you. you can open up to strangers to some degree online but then make sure you don't reveal personal info which could endanger you. you can speak to a school counsellor or trusted friend... You can unburden yourself of everything to God..that should be your first step, I reckon