Yes, it is human nature. But the good people love you because they think they can get love out of you. Happiness, at it's core, is a selfish thing. Just the good people in the world tend to find happiness from making other people happy or from making the people they love happy.

Why won't someone just date me? Can anybody out there pray for that?

Hard question to answer when I don't know you.

Well, what do you want to know about me?

5' 8" somewhat bald dark blonde, chubby but active. I like to practice my electric piano. When I go out I like bowling and pool and movies. Not particularly into the violent stuff. schizoeffective, but very high functioning. 17 months clean and sober and in recovery. I believe in Jesus, but I don't have a home church. I would consider myself to be non-denominational, but somewhat new age. I meditate sometimes. I would like to finish school and either teach or be a computer programmer.

Sounds good as a surface idea of who you are. But I still don't know you as a person.

I could ask the same question and no one here could tell me why. I don't know why I'm un-datable, so no one else can know either without picking out superficial reasons. Hell, I've picked out all of my superficial reasons but I see people with those traits and worse get dates and even marry. So it probably comes down to something like attitude and personality and finding the right person who can accept/tolerate your personality.

If they only want something out of you then its not love is it? Call it something else.

What do you want to know about me as a person. I promise to be honest.

Kinda impossible to truly get to know someone in a short period of time.

Are you asking out women that you've known for a while or just trying to meet new, random people?

people who love you and people who are sincere do not do anything for something in return. they do acts of kindness without expectations.

Are you active on the dating scene? What I mean is are you making an attempt to meet people and ask them out?

But yes I will pray for you.

this is useless

I thought you were looking for advice here not a date. Most people aren't going to go out with someone they just met on a online forum who they don't know from a can of paint. Your posts come across as very angry, resentful, and bitter which is the first impression you're leaving. Unless the idea is to make someone feel so sorry for you that they will go on a pity date, you won't find many dates or even friendships that way.

Long post soon to come //
OP a *seriously* jnteresting person //
plus (in my book) good values //

:) ! !

I'm not sure thatit is irritability I see in Jasper3's posts. It is a touchy *subject* of course which has been brougbt up, and it is perfectly normal to "frown" a lil at a couple of replies he's gotten.

This forum has lots of givi.g ppl on it Jasper3. Of course some are having a harder time of it than others -- but yet may be as outgoing/considerate as they can). I wonder if a rush to candidness has been happeni.g, with too little warm-up time. Just a thought.

P.S.: Will talk about the "ask me anything" thing I hear now & then.
Pardon th'bad typing/tiny ky'bd please.

I'll throw something out on the idea of 'openness.' It is a concept of mine that the. _transparent person_ (see Sidney Jourard's book of that title) talks of him/her-self (but not overly) and gives openings for questions from others. Talks in a free, relaxed way :)

If you see what I am getti.g at, Jasper3. On a date or in a conversation leading maybe toward a date, there can be the question, "Tell me somethjng about yourself." And I've been guilty of that more than. . . well often *enough* :( Better would be to make it easy, "Did you go to a large (high) school?" Or small. Ask about where s/he is from, & possibly the several places livid while growing up. Leading gradually to the point where a person will actually start opening . . up

Inviting questions which'd be from out of the blue, IMHO, would not - for me anyway - be a way to express my feelings. Eg: 'well I grew up a redhead.' (But is now drab brown.) --Saying red is hardly at all a beginning to explaining how I felt about it. As, did I get teased.. Again, a person in closed off mode, asked about his appearance can say, "Oh, redhead," and quickly come up w something about his height, favourite sweaters. Facts sans feelings :(

Ppl w good social skills (not me/am a very "spotty performer" :( warm up to another(s) gradually I think, more or less. And draw others out in corresponding degree w how much they themselves are being drawn out.

good luck,
Caleb