welcome and it sounds kind of cool to be out on your own making music and loving a woman what more could a guy want....I hear ya...lot more....I do not know how old you are....I been around a long time here and everywhere as I am now 64yrs old...I used to teach...I too have a girlfriend but it is not the greatest of gifts....we are compatible but cannot have certain intimacy because she weighs in oh 450 lbs is my estimate and her body is so big I cannot have sex with her the way I could wish a normal body size....it is not viagra problem it is the size of body issues...I am not a skinny guy but no where near as big as she is.....enough on that....glad to talk with you....hugs bill

Welcome to the forum, Lonewolf. Loneliness is something many people experience and I keep saying this but it is true: The pandemic has made many people isolated, lonely, and afraid. I have no tribe either, I am married and have one adult child that is in connection. My relatives have almost all died off. So what I have learned and what I am working on within myself is this: being lonely is a self absorbed type of thinking. We are all about ourselves and how we feel. Focused on our feelings and needs and this closes us up to new friends and new experiences. Because our minds are stuck on our own stuff. We tell ourselves we are lonely, alone, don't fit in -- and so -- we don't fit in. Because it is how we feel about ourselves. This is called a self fulfilling prophecy. We create this.

I've read several good books about this and had good counseling. I personally liked The Happiness Trap and I am struggling through Eckhart Tolle. So today is our present and we can treat it like the gift it is, or we can criticize that gift and say "I don't like it." We can say this situation is one I choose and make it our friend and ally and learn from it. Or we can struggle and do negative things and think dysfunctionally and maybe even blame others. Which one brings us happiness would you guess?

So you are in a situation where your own life choices limit your life. We all do this but it helps to recognize this within us. You don't have a car and you live to far to walk to where other people are. And did you say you cheat on your GF? Or did I read this wrong.

You are looking to fix your life and it always starts within ourselves. I wish I had a magic wand within my own life to fix me without going through pain and struggle. We have to rethink how we think and how we act/behave. It all lies within us. You've seen how practicing your music and spending time on that is starting to pay off. This is something very good that you are doing. It is the same for emotional troubles, we have to learn and then practice new skills, and we have to have a mindset that we are going to put in the effort.

I am being honest with you, and I am my blunt self. For me personally, it has never helped when people say to me "oh you poor thing" but rather it is more helpful for people to tell me how my stinking thinking is affecting myself. You have to simply decide that this current life is not working, be a person of integrity and good character, and rethink how you think. Read some books about self help, get counseling if you need it, fix the things in your life that limit you that are within your power and control. Work a second job to purchase a car if you need that so you can get out and be around people. If you feel depressed, do seek therapy or medical help or psychiatrist help for assessment. Sometimes we get stuck and in a rut. We all need help at times.

Find a way to help other people so that you are not so stuck in your own head. You are a valuable human being, you have worth in this life. This too shall pass.

Im in the music industry, I am podcaster, radio DJ, Music magazine editor and band manager, Message me or add me if you wanna chat music or what ever, Also I would like to invite you for an interview on my podcast, I normally interview other musicians etc so might be a great fit

Thank you guys for the support and honest advice… please feel free to message me any books or guides u guys are reading or have read to me so I can dive in. I’m not much of a reader but I’m willing to do what it takes to be better. And get better.

Public library! Go in and walk through the non-fiction sections. Find the self help sections that you might want to read from. I personally found these books helpful to me but the first is older and quite the long read.

A New Guide to Rational Living by Albert Ellis, PhD, and Robert Harper, PhD. Ellis was the father of the modern psychiatric movement into changing how we think. His theory is called Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy or REBT which is the grandfather of the more modern Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

You can also probably google these terms on YouTube and find videos from therapists or psychiatrists. Do be selective and think about what they are saying and don't just assume someone is "right" as there are many non-professionals on YouTube. I don't have any names to give.

Second book: The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris. It also says "How to Stop Struggling and Start Living. A guide to ACT: the mindfulness-based program for reducing stress, overcoming fear, and creating a rich and meaningful life." (ACT is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy).

And just for grins, have a thought to say this but google the term "indigo children" or look for books or YouTube on this subject.

There are so many similarities between us, except I once had a friend who never judged, always listened and talked some too while I listened. Talk about hanging out! We hung out most of the week and every weekend, we drank like hell, laughed a lot, cried a bit too until he passed away then take all I think you feel and add to it the loss. Its been more years than I can stand to think about but while it lasted it meant everything. Even my wife and kids looked at him like he was one of us. I hope you find what you're looking for, I know about the emptiness, loneliness. Sadness so strong some days you can't see how you will get through the day and at almost 56 I still have no clue as to what causes this, in my younger years I was a
real SOB, so is it karma, chemical errors or physical errors in my head? Haven't found a drug that can fix me, legal or otherwise, spent 10 years in a bottle, all I did was make it worse so trust me not a good way to deal with it tbh if you figure out how to fix this please let me know. The good news is it can be done, you can make it through life, so far I have, and I've been close to dead many times. I see you are not afraid to put things into words and I think that has probably been some help to you so would definitely do it more and this is a great place for that, I've met a few folks on here that really helped so maybe you can too, one thing that helps me sometimes is knowing I'm not alone even though I feel I am.

I thought musicians had all kinds of friends....especially female friends!

It sounds like you just need to get out in the world and make yourself known.....maybe make some you tube videos of yourself playing your instrument.

Years ago there use to be a really neat websight called bandhub where I would play my guitar and sing with other musicians who were all over the world, and it was totallyt free! The videos would end up on you tube after all the needed musicians made their contribution to the song. It was alot of fun but sadly they went out of business but have been replaced by other websights which offer. the same thing. I don't have time to do it anymore but I can get you a list if you're interested.

You can make lots of friends here. Just send out friend requests.

~~~Peace~~~

Hi! When you said that you feel invisible and unheard, I said those are words that I use to describe myself. I am sorry that you don't have a friend to talk to. We are here for you. What kind of music do you like/play? I feel so lonely when it comes to music. I used to be able to share it but I don't have a computer and I haven't burned a CD in 10 years. My younger cousin an old neighborhood kids kept me up-to-date on music years ago. My best friend likes classic rock and probably doesn't know one song that I listen to. I used to make theme cds for a paralegal at work. That was so much fun! When her husband turned 40, she wanted a CD about the water since he liked spending time on his boat. We came up with so many songs that it became a 4 CD set! So what instruments do you play? I have a piano that I paid $100 for when I moved into my house. It is an antique. It is out of tune. I would love to be able to play.

So why are you a bad boyfriend? Is this something that you plan to work on?

Here is some inspiration for you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dlJoLWv9xN0&ab_channel=TheOutcome

I plan on being a better boyfriend… a better person for myself. I just… find it hard sometimes… I struggle with just feeling like I’m not enough so much… and I never will be. On top of feeling invisible. Yesterday I relapsed being a bad boyfriend… I posted on ig and it was some beats and stuff I made and i don’t get much attention from anyone but I’m making progress in the industry. I’m in a confusing spot rn and I just… talked to some women I know to keep me a lil more calm. I was trying to talk to my girl but she was sleep and I try different things to distract my mind. Like playing video games or making more music. Just am tired of feeling like I’m dropping shit on deaf ears. And succeed so I stop feeling so stupid and alone. I stomp myself down at the fact I can’t just give my girl and family the life I want for all of us… I just wish it were easier idk

Suggest you get a spiral notebook and start a journal. Or journal on DS. Write down your feelings. Explore you & your thinking. Don’t call other women unless it’s platonic and a friendship that is open and honest with the GF. Get a job so you have purpose and money. You are worth putting in the effort. Take care!