Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
I have a toddler and husband. Once they are done eating, they go do what they want. They are fast eaters and I am not. Every single night I cook and we eat and I'm always left not even half way done (I sit last due to getting their food for them) and they are already gone. My husband eats, then leaves to go smoke. My toddler, eats, washes his hands and then plays.
Tonight though, I asked my husband if they could start waiting till I'm done to leave the table. He agreed that it painted a bad picture me eating alone every night. But that it wouldn't be fair to make him and our toddler "suffer and wait for me to be done". I took that to heart. Talking to me, my company, waiting for me is considered suffering? I told him that was rude and to forget i said anything. He got all mad & ended up throwing names at me and said it was just me nit picking.
I grew up that nobody left the table until everyone was done.
He grew up the kids eat and the parents eat in front of the TV.
Idk who is right or who is wrong. It's been an hour and he's still mad that I'm hurt. He's not happy that I'm still sad over the situation. I really thought I deserved to have my family as company at the table while we ALL eat. once again I'm feeling alone and worthless after a long day.
I think your husband is being a bit cruel with the "suffering" comment. I sure wouldn't like that remark either.
Just remind him that you do the cooking and serving, and you are the last to eat, and you don't feel appreciated at all. Sometimes he needs some reminding as to all you do. Just give him the silent treatment for a while, don't think about his comment at the moment, calm down, and the next time you eat with your family, just ask him nicely if he could sit with you and chat while you eat. Don't mention his comment.
He may not sit with you every night, but hopefully he could bend a little with his habits. I wish you luck!!
How about getting your food first and sitting down, your husband can get your toddler's food and his while you get a head start?
I think you are experiencing some resentment that you are servicing them and they just abandon you when their done??
Division of Labor is in order. IMO
I would be annoyed too.
You are not their servants.
Best Wishes.
How thoughtful of you to want your family joined together at the dinner table; this is a rather less-valued family tradition unless on special occasions or at the holiday times when there's more than enough people to keep company with.
I do share your feelings that your husband's choice of words is challenging to the emotions; however, I don't feel that he meant to be rude or thoughtless. Recall that he feels the same as you that the picture of you eating alone is not so favorable to him either. Still, with the matter of harsh words afterward, these acts of unkindness with your sensitive and tender feelings go way beyond anyone's expectation - he might now consider an apology is in order for the sake of peace of mind for both of you.
As for your toddler, he has no power to stay undistracted, and this situation is a need for training him to better understand the rules of the dinner table over a course of time. And creating useful ideas to encourage his or your husband's enthusiasm will decrease the pleasure of flight from the supper table. You may approach a solution to this problem by connecting with your husband's thoughts for ideas of shared entertainment. For example, helping you set the table before mealtime, in which your little one may bring in a special toy to sit with, or your husband may share a favorite story of interest during that time. Often people eat slower as they share in a conversation that's entertaining and not boredom. But when you know that there really are no words to share and where there is no interest in change, then possibly your son and husband may agree to come back to the table and help you with clearing and dishwashing work. If possible, it should be addressed to a specific way to settle the problem and not with thoughts and feelings of discontent. No matter what, the objective is to stay courteous and communicate areas of concern not only to keep the peace but to set the example of a good parent-child relationship as well.
Best to you! I admire that you are moving to think of how important sharing family time at the table is truly a way to encourage comfort and appreciation for all you do as a wife and mom. God bless.