I found if you don't keep up with people they seem to forget you.
if you have the chance to go be with someone who invites you, you should make and effort to go. I rarely get invited anywhere by anyone.

grace is right, when you get invited to go out you really should try and go. I don't get invitations out. if it wasn't for my son, I would eat lunch alone every day. that's not much fun

Theres lots that you need to do to change this as your isolating yourself. Hugs bill

Depression can cause this. Have you talked to your doctor about it?

Sometimes the hardest part is just getting your foot out the front door. Once there, I bet you will be so happy that you went. Try not to give so much thought into what is negative and think about the fun you may have. Hugs GB

Do you have any idea why you freeze? What about these social situations makes you not want to go? Fear of rejection or being ignored or not being "good enough"? Bad experiences from the past or some kind of phobia? What is triggering your fear? If you can figure that out, you can start to work on the problem.

For example, you recently went out with your friend and had a great time. Was that easier because you were only meeting with one person, as opposed to a large group?

You're absolutely right that friendship has to be a reciprocal situation. We have to try and look at it from the other person's POV, though that isn't always easy especially when we're feeling bad. There have been times in my past when I didn't meet with people because I felt they didn't want me around -- only to find out later that *they* felt rejected by *me* because I didn't go.

Please don't beat yourself up about this. Just try to figure out what is triggering your fear and try to accept these invitations when you can because it's not good for you to be isolated.

all such great comments that I have to do and get out of this situation I have placed myself in. when in a group I feel I have nothing to say, nothing of any importance and that people are thinking I am nothing. these people are the ones I know but are not friends that I go with. I like small groups, like when I go to the movies with my 2 friends or meet with lyn. I have opened up to her about feeling I have let her down and she assured me I have not, you are doing the best you can she told me. I know I need to go tonight, even if I just stay for an hour, I would be there. you all have made my decision for me and I know that night time is long and lonely, so this is a chance to get out.i just hope the roads are better, it is a mess here. I don't like driving when I don't know where I am going and it is dark so early now, I need directions again. I have been sick and still don't feel right but right now I say I am going, wish me luck! hugs all

by all means, if you are too sick to go or contagious, then stay home.
But what has helped me many times...when I am being wishy washy about going somewhere is, just start getting ready regardless, in case I decide I want to go, then I can. Ususally by the time i'm done putting the effort into preparing to go, I'm a lot more positive about going.

And if people are still inviting you, you certainly are wanted, and they are not thinking those things, you mention. And besides, most people would rather talk about themselves anyway! So just try to revert focus back on them, but not in an annoying way. lol but perhaps i'm the only one that gets annoyed at too many questions. Have you ever read "how to win friends and influence people"? oldy but goody. I swear, I read it, and then went to a big work function loaded with clients of our consulting firm I worked for at the time. I was new to both. The next time I spoke with the owner of our company, he complimeted me and said how many people had mentioned me and what a "delight" I was. lol perhaps it's time I re-read that book!

so how did the evening go?

gusto I read part of that book,,....yep it is a good read and good ideas...complimenting others is a great thing to do too....it says to them that you noticed them....and then they hopefully are nicer to you and buy something your selling...Ha I learned that in sales classes for photography by Olan Mills....LOL

Perhaps when you are up to it you go out and do something on your own? Be it a walk or a movie or craft you enjoy or find a volunteer position to get involved with...so to start with it will be on your terms until you're ready to get involved with others on their terms

Well Bill, as I remember, it was about sincerity, not cheap flattery. ;)

And it was about more than giving compliments. Perhaps you should re-read it also. ;p

if I remember some of what I read it was about taking interest in the other persons life not just complimenting them but that was a suggested idea too...showing interest in others is a form of respecting them and that goes a long way to making friends....