Loneliness Support Group
Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any...
Just saw this article with a different perspective about a woman who decided to stop dating,
On a recent bank holiday, with nothing pressing to do, I baked myself a cake—two cakes, actually, so I could decide which recipe best satisfied my chocolate craving. I ate both. Are single women happier? That's debatable, but they're certainly better capable of having their cake and eating it too. For the better part of my life, I would bake those perfect cakes and give the best slices—you know, the ones with sweet maraschino cherries—to others. And I didn't stop there. I'd make sure everyone else had the best cuts of steak and the freshest cups of coffee.
That was part of the problem. My purpose in life had become pleasing others. I didn't bother figuring out how to be happy; I found moments of joy in making my partner happier at home.
The thing I didn't realize when I retired from dating, though, was how much happier it would make me. Reading through profiles and trying to engage men who are still single but "open to kids" at age 45 and older took time and patience that I just did not have. And more important, it wasn't any fun. I was wasting time on dating. The way I saw it, my energy was better spent on things with a higher rate of return. So I took on more assignments at work, spent more time making my kid pancakes the shapes and colors of his favorite cartoon characters, booked travel and cultivated a few new hobbies—all the cliche post-breakup stuff that is supposed to make newly single women happier.
With my new mindset, I had something of a second coming of age. I wasn't constantly trying to be happy or successful at work—I was happy and successful and fulfilled.
At the end of that year, I sat down at my computer to figure out my taxes and stared in awe at the number at the bottom of my spreadsheet. I had the highest-earning year of my life. I'd also won an award for my work, with a medal and everything. I completed my first solo home renovation project, painting and redecorating the bathroom and even wiring a new light fixture. I pulled off a homemade escape room birthday party for my son.
When I flip through my phone's camera roll, I can't believe all the new things I've tried and adventures I've been on—all totally alone. I visited a wolf sanctuary. Took a class at a circus school. Dove off a diving board for the first time ever. I commissioned art for myself, started learning sign language, traveled to both Portlands (Maine and Oregon), hiked vertical cliffs in the Arizona heat and sailed the Caribbean.
I read books (actual novels, not just self-help books!), spent time with friends and hiked hundreds of miles with my dog through newly discovered trails. I reaped the many benefits of volunteering by donating blood, time and money to causes I believed in. And I went to bed every night feeling a deep sense of calm satisfaction in my soul.
Happily unmarried
Excerpted from I Retired from Dating at 43—and I’ve Never Been Happier, Jill Waldbieser
Original 7 Jill Waldbieser
© Jill Waldbieser/rd.com
Slowly, my natural positive attitude and faith in humanity returned. Best of all, I regained faith in myself. While I absolutely look forward to becoming a cat lady someday, I don't hate relationships or people who are happy in them. And I still think romantic love is something to aspire to.
Indeed, studies show a link between marriage and happiness. Still, there's a trick to making single women happier, and it has to do with community. When researchers looked at the happiness levels of married and unmarried people, they found that unmarried folks were more likely to socialize with others, and that socialization was strongly connected to happiness.
What I've come to realize is that I don't need a romantic relationship to avoid loneliness or to feel fulfilled. I am very content. For the first time in my life, I treat myself the way I've always treated others. I put myself first, buy myself the finer things and always, always save the biggest, best piece of cake for myself.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
I say to this article “You go girl” :)
I’ve been single for a while, VERY gun shy *literally*.
I mean my circumstances are different, as I actually had to literally escape my ex who tried to murder me & then stalked me since I ‘got away’.
So I have to be committed to being, on my own, independent & healing. Ain’t no one gonna save me, this has been made very clear to me so far in this life.
I do have a rescue kitty so if that makes me a ‘cat lady’ so be it lol
But I’ll tell you this my kitty *Baby is his name, is the best little man I’ve ever lived with.
There’s times I feel lonely for sure, but still waaay too much overridden by fear of people (my experience with a lot of humans have been them being, unpredictable & draining). But if I ever met a man (a good man, that would have to be an extremely special person) maybe I would. But do not need a man to complete me no. I see so many woman loosing themselves to men & vice versa, just to ‘have someone’ .... but do they really ‘have them’? Do they really ‘have themselves’. I don’t see the point to two people losing & abandoning themselves, their souls, or life experiences just to ‘say’ or on paper have it said that they ‘have someone’. That seems lonelier than being ‘single’
I’m not sure what I’m saying here exactly, just my experience, & what I thought.
Big hugs <3
Sincerely, from *Eat, pray, love* Missy xoxo
Nice post! Thankyou for sharing!
I will say that I was asked to lead a support group one year ago and I decided to try it for six months. I personally was tired and bored in the old support group and I knew I had to change it to make it effective. I have led other support groups for going back 30 years. At first, it was hard because the old members didn't like the change and I felt that people pleasing stuff creep into my head. Now there are mostly newer people and they seem to love this support group. And I have met a lot of really nice people. One of the complainers from the old group was so self absorbed and attention seeking and I think he bad mouthed me to other old timers. My supervisor eventually removed him from the group, LOL, and said boy he is narcissistic. But the new members often speak about how they appreciate the curriculum or education. I have confidence in myself now. So I could really appreciate this article, Bobby. I saw that changing my perspective or attitude is helping me stop people pleasing and gain confidence like the author of that article wrote about.