I was also abused until 30 and people probably wonder why we allowed it as an adult but its more about the other person having power and control over us and it seems to be normal

I have found I have seeked out the abuse and formed further abusive relationships. I have been in therapy for 4 years but dont feel anywhere near to overcoming the effects it had on my life

Hi june4 your right it's all about the control with the abusers and appears normal! This is all we av ever known in our lives, so it plays a high part in them!! Many people do go into abusive relationships because it's all we know! I'm sorry that you are in them and I bet they are difficult to escape like sexuall abuse. I av been lucky I av an amazeing boyfriend who deals with alot with me and I feel sorry for him! I just hope life gets easier! I am doing a little better I forgot bits each day but it takes time!! I wish you all the best june4 and all the luck in The world

I think we do what we are use to because change can be scary and it's natural to have a fear of change and that is why you need alot of support to help you through that change from the abusive life to a much better happier life.

God Bless

hey there bob thanx for your reply and your totaly right hope u are well x

my abuse was for two years between ages 7 and 9. I'm better now because I'm in counseling, but I still have a long way to go.

Hi dorothy u will still av a long way to go abuse is a difficult thing to live and deal with and everyday is a struggle but we all find things that help, hope u av or will find it and be happy soon love n hugs x

Yes there is long after abuse. It took me a long time to get to where I am now. I am mentally & emotionally healthy

Well thats good to hear grace :).

Hey all :) Thanks for the invite Paula.

I was abused by my grandfather from ages 5 to 13. As an adult I was able to prosecute my abuser and he served 20 years in prison.

Today I am emotionally healthy and happier than I have ever been in my life. (Thanks to YEARS of therapy) I am newly married, working full time, going to school full time and enjoying my adult children and first grand child.

Grace, can you share with others how you were helped? What worked for you, might work for someone else.

That's fab bailygirl im so glad that you are happy it really helps when always have positive things to say

hi bailygirl im so happy that you are alot better hope u keep the good feeling x

can u see my comment

comments keep disapearing

Hello, hope all is well with everyone. It sounds like there is some great supports here. My story is simaler to alot of yours and reading everything everybody wrote made me reliaze that i wasn't alone. but here is some of my life sturggles... When I was 9 I was raped by my bestfriends brother he tied me up and put a gun to my head and told me if I told anybody he will Kill me. I feel like I have made progress on it I can atleast talk about it now...But one thing in the past is still hard to talk about and make alot of sense of is my Step dad molested me from the time i was 10 to 13 and when I told my mom she didn't beleive me I moved out when i was 14 after telling her that if he doesn't leave and this continues I will leave. I have tried to forgive but I don't think that I can...My own mother not beleiving me and still with him and still trying to control my life...I have tried to talk to my mom serveral time about it and she doesn't want to me and she always tells me that I am wrong....So am i wrong for not wanting eaither one of them in my life? everybody in the family says that it is wrong me to be this way and that I jsut need to get over all of it and make up with them, but it still hurts to bad that she doesn't belevie her daughter and doesn't want to change our relationship. All she wants to do is control me and control the way I raise my kids.....That is not fair to me, why can't I make my own mistakes and learn from them why can't she just me a mom that cares about me and my feeling and that I don't want to be around the man that molested me. Why Can't she beleive me.....My ex husband was a compelely phycotic....everything was good until we got married then he quit is job i worked and tried to support him and two kids and meanwhile he is beating the crap out of me cause I can't do enough and found out that he was also hitting my kids so I kicked him out and left him.....When I did he came after me with a knife theatned to kill me and now has no contact with his son... and I feel like i am at fault....I think that my relationships go south because I have no trust in anyone because what has happened to me, I think that there is so much that happened that I am always angry and I always feel like everyone is personally attacking me.... I was always in pain it took me four doctors and 3 years to figure out what was wrong...Fibromyalgia...I am on medication for it now (cymbalta, flexeril and mobics) it seems to help with pain and I am in a good place right now with my pain...but my anger is still getting the best of me. In my realtionship now, I am so in-love with me but he doesn't handle situations like he should and it make me even more angry then I am from everything that is always on my mind. His 15 year old daughter is so disrespectful and he always turns a bilnd eye to what she does and there are times that I belevie that she does a lot of what she does to break us up and he doesn't see that....So is there something wrong with me? why do I always feel guilty and that everything is my fault? Why am I so angry all the time? Why do I feel like I am not in control? I am so tired of fighting! I am so tired of feeling alone. What do I do? I feel like there is so much going on that I have no control over and I can't control my own feeling...I feel so depressed and all I do is cry....