My name is Tomasz. I am a compulsive liar. I can't controll it and due to that my life is in ruin.

My name is Connor. I have become powerless over lies, and my life is unmanageable.

the next step has to do with the higher power. let's talk about that. but first, let's talk about the fact that many people avoid the idea embodied in this first step because they don't want to be humiliated or disgraced by admitting lies. in the 12-step model, we are putting off the telling of other people until step 8.

or as someone i know put it, it makes no sense to apologize for lies if you're still a liar.

so, many people hold on to the idea they can control it: they can cover the consequences of past lies with more lies. that will have to be dealt with. but first, we have to surrender, stop trying to control...specifically because our version of controlling things is to tell lies. we have to press reset on that.

so don't worry, at first (i am half talking to myself here, obviously), about what will happen when everyone knows. just ask yourself: am i ready to give up? could it get any worse? do i want it to?

My name is John and I am a compulsive liar and it has ruined my life and my marriage. I have no control over it.

Yes, what Thomas said is very important. WE need to have a will of giving up. WE have to admit to OURSELVES we no longer control those lies. And WE need to will giving up for US not for someone else.

At the moment I no longer worry what will happen when everybody knows. I know I'm trying the right path, even if I am loosing it sometimes. It can't get any worse...

I need to do this for myself. Today I confessed to my minister that I am a compulsive liar and it felt great to say it to someone else. I know it was to my minister, but to say it gave the confidence I need to say it to anybody and everybody. I don't care what they think. I know I am doing something about it and that's all that matters to me.

Hi my name's Pallavi and I'm a pathological liar. I've known my husband for 15 years now and there have been very few times that I've told him the truth and he's always known that. Loving me. Scolding me. Teaching me...throught it all. He would say that one day he might not be there and I would've lost the most precious thing in the world. That day dawned. It was nothing unusual for me...but I lied to him again & this time he just withdrew. Terribly hurt and wounded once again. It's been over 48hours and he refuses to talk to me. He's disillusioned and pained...and I'm devastated knowing that I've been the cause of such agony to him. He must be miserable that he doesn't have the will to talk to me.

What have I done? I'm just big talk & no action. I keep repeating my habit of lying thinking I will always have my family's love & support. But the one person that truly loved me has given up & withdrawn in his shell...and now I'm alone & lost. I want to stop lying. I want to face my fear of some horrible punishment I might get if I speak the truth. I want to have the courage to see myself for who I really am...Help me. Help me become true.

Hi, my name is Mackenzie and I am a liar...I have been lying my whole life almost. I am ready to start fresh. I am a compulsive liar to myself and my family.

My name is Paul and i am a liar. I am powerless over lying and I am here to stop the lying.
The one person in my life that has been there for me - Is the person I have hurt the most. My wife. Now I am hurting my daughter.

I already appreciate this site. i will be back.
Peace

My name is Shawn and I am a liar. I don't know why I do it...sometimes it's to avoid getting in trouble...other times it's just to get what I want. I even lie to myself. I convince myself that I only tell lies to protect myself and I'm not really a chronic liar. But it's really just another lie.

I have a wonderful wife and an amazing son...and now I'm on the brink of losing them both because I can't tell the truth to the people I love the most, much less friends and co-workers.

I want to change...I need to change.

I am a selfish person who has gotten the things I want at the expense of others. If includes lying, or manipulation, then i will do it. I use lying to make others think that i am better than and I am, too. I think its becasue i am not happy with who I really am.
I have hurt my wife the most. She doesn;t know when to believe me when I tell her something. She will not put up with me anymore if i continue to lie and deceive her. I need help. I cannot do it alone.

I've been lyign my whole life. People tell me I'm a nice person and they tend to like me despite my lies. It sickens me. I'm decended from liars and the fear of punishment and not getting what I want are the primary motivators I think. Clearly I need help. My wife is about finished with my lying ways. It hurts her and our fight this morning over another "white lie" of mine, is what sent me looking for this group. I need to stop. Even when I tell her I want to change, she's heard it all before and nothing I can say will convince her. Why should it? I'm a liar and she knows it. I hope I can stop and put things on a good track for us.

Hi, I'm Maurine and for the first time to someone else I'm admitting that I have a problem with lying. It started in highschool as something I was proud of.. that I was so good at lying I could get out of doing anything... But I never dreamed it would get so bad... It's to the point now that I lie for no reason at all, just to make reality sound better I guess. Sometimes I dont even know Im doing it, and end up BELIEVING my own lie. But now here I am, going on 8 years of marriage with a wonderful man who has always been completely honest with me, and just like Pallavi's husband has loved me despite my weaknesses, until now. He's very close to giving up on me. I can't lose him. I can't allow our family to be ripped apart all because of me and my insecurities. I can tell you that my lies seem to always be for one of two reasons.... either I'm afraid of getting caught or in trouble for something, or I'm trying to get my way. I'm grateful to have stumbled upon this group, because support is exactly what I need in my quest to overcome my biggest demon. Thank you for listening.
Maurine

My wife has indicated that I am a pathological liar. Honestly, I did not completely believe her, but I have been thinking about her words for a while now. I realize that I have lied about many things in my life, but I seem to pick certain areas to lie. For example, i do not lie at my job. I have decided to join this group as a way of learning what i need to do to improve myself. I must admit that I have a serious problem with lying and that is what is important. the actual definition or category of my lying is not crucial. However, I do not feel that I can start by telling my wife (who has demanded that I get help but also indicates that she has written me off) because I believe that she tries to hurt me when she gets angry. The more information she has gives her more information to hurt me. Who do I confide in then?

I noted that one person indicated that they do not answer some questions (because they do not want to lie), but tell the questioner that they will answer later. My wife believes that withholding any information is a lie and would continue to chastice me as a liar if I took this approach. Does anyone have any suggestion for my particular predicament? Keep in mind that we do have children so i still have to talk to her.

Thank you so much for this site. it is great to see other people with a similar problem out there.