Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
My partner has been split up with her ex for about 6months now and I guess the question I'm wanting to ask is for those who were married before, how long did it take before you started going through divorce proceedings etc? And should I worry if its not a priority for her? Does it mean anything in regards to our relationship?
The past 6 months have been spent her trying to get her life and self in order & also focusing on her kids and trying to get a house and everything sorted which is beginning to be sorted out now. And I do completely understand that the kids were the no.1 focus. I love her dearly and we are in alot of ways "perfect" for each other but this is one thing that does play on my mind.
How long did others take before starting to go through divorce proceedings after they seperated from their ex;s?
She is the sort of person who just floats and floats along, until problems have hit their highest and then they HAVE to be dealt with. Where as I am the sort of person who just deals with things straght away rather that leave them lying. I do understand we are different in that way, but it does just frustrate the life out of me why she doesn't feel this is something that needs to be dealt with.
I guess my fear is that she doesn't want to rush into doing this, even though I know deep down inside thats not the issue, but the longer it goes on the harder it is to convince myself.
ANy advice would be greatly appreciated!
The past 6 months have been spent her trying to get her life and self in order & also focusing on her kids and trying to get a house and everything sorted which is beginning to be sorted out now. And I do completely understand that the kids were the no.1 focus. I love her dearly and we are in alot of ways "perfect" for each other but this is one thing that does play on my mind.
How long did others take before starting to go through divorce proceedings after they seperated from their ex;s?
She is the sort of person who just floats and floats along, until problems have hit their highest and then they HAVE to be dealt with. Where as I am the sort of person who just deals with things straght away rather that leave them lying. I do understand we are different in that way, but it does just frustrate the life out of me why she doesn't feel this is something that needs to be dealt with.
I guess my fear is that she doesn't want to rush into doing this, even though I know deep down inside thats not the issue, but the longer it goes on the harder it is to convince myself.
ANy advice would be greatly appreciated!
I guess your new partner was married to a man then? *wink I feel foolish asking, but there are states in the US that acknowledge gay marriages.
Being divorced twice (m/f) and going through a current breakup (f/f) after 12 years, I have to say that the rate of speed on this road is a personal preference.
The majority of people can't handle change as it is and it may seem as if they are procrastinating; but it's simply because they don't want to overwhelm themselves. This Major Life Change involves children. Your girl has to contend with alot right now; so she's taking it step by step, in the way that she can maintain her sanity.
Kudo's to her!!!! And, Kudo's to you for reaching out to ask the question before you inadvertantly and totally innocently become a drain on her *wink.
Granted, I am more like you in that I want to get myself situated as soon as possible. But, she has to do what she feels comfy with,..and that is really how most people operate.
You're learning a crucial personality trait with your new girl. It is the way she will handle most everything. You'll need to pratice patience :O) and as long as she is still giving you the right signs that she is right there with you,...don't let the fact that she is cleaning up her past and doing the very best she can to accomplish this.. become a burden to you.
It's really cool that you can be there for her. You're actions during this crucial time will show her what you're all about. I think she has a real gem!!
Congrats on your new relationship!!!
Your advice is really helpful, unfortunaely patience isn't always my best trait & im a get up and go and I want it now person lol.
It's just a difficult situation because there is kids and a house involved & because I don't have kids myself I can't understand that part of it (altho hopefully not lack of trying).
But I guess all the drama at the minute is all part of the process :) and hopefully at the end it can be the way "I" and "WE"