Jealousy Support Group
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...
Just a thought to throw out. Yes very very early on in our relationship he did some things that was completely normal and ok for him in his mind but not for me. Ever since I voiced my opions of looking at other women and commenting and such with coworkers and brothers he has not done it once. I, however, seem to get angry (in my mind) and apprehensive (in my mind) and want to lash out and hold him accountable for stuff that "MIGHT" happen. Ok so a certian show or commercial or going out in public has me uptight because we MIGHT see a better looking woman. We MIGHT see someone in Victoria Secret commercial. Get what I am saying. I almost seem to punish him and cause myself a lot of grief on something that hasn't even happened yet! WHY is the question.
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89FToday it is again another hot day but cooler then yesterday. Since this is August it is to be expected in my neck of the woods. All the grass is yellow and flowers are starting to go to seed. I need to water my garden but this time of the year I'm so over it, which is weird because all my plants have their fruit or veggies.Sandra, this time of year reminds me of your Dad and his toms. We'd...
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Ive been with my partner since we were teens and you know what teens are like, he was a typical teen lad, normal as you say, only it wasn't normal for me, it hurt me so deeply.
At 48 he's nothing like he was then, thank god he grew up lol!
And having a teen son helped also!
I punished him same as you, no where as much as i used to thanks to counseling.
The reason WHY, is because you have not come to terms with the hurt, you still have an underlying anger and resentment that you have not dealt with.
Your probably like me in the fact that you expected him to treat you with the same morals and values that you hold. Only they have their own values and morals as to what they see as ok and not ok.
Its a hard lesson to learn and come to terms with.
We don't have you Victoria adverts, thank the lord!
I do it a lot. Create scenarios in my head and play out the worst outcome. Since I have realized this, I have been able to keep it under control.
Over time, my awereness can increase that most of my thoughts are often exaggerations, false interpretations or based on paranoid thinking.
And begin to see that the perceived threats are not there. Slowly I can believe them lesses and lesser until I don't believe them anymore at all.
Try it. The effect is in the actual action.
I placed new post for cataloguing the 'catastrophising' we don. So we become more aware of our imaginary fears and believe in them less over time.
Its here: http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/jealousy-anonymous-12-steps/discussions/messages/15356211