I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. I feel your pain. Trust me. But my insecurities have eventually led to distrust and lies. Because I was always so insecure and distrustful and jealous, my boyfriend has started to lie to me about the smallest things, and has begun to resent me. Also, if I make a comment (in jest), he thinks that I am being insecure and snaps at me. We both have our issues, but I know that my jealousies and insecurities has created a monster in my bf. Please seek help if you can, or it will destroy your relationship.

I also know precisely how you feel. I feel that way too...ALL THE TIME! I've been f**ked over so many times and even tho I have no reason to believe that is happening now, I still don't trust him. I'm learning to pray. I know that sounds corny. But it actually helps sometimes. You might also try keeping a private journal, so that the words you may want to take back are never spoken.

i know exactly how you feel. Me and my girlfriend just decided to take a break because of my insecurities. She is an amazing person who has done nothing but support me and push for me to be better, but because of my past i don't trust what she said or does with other people and i am always waiting for the day that she will leave me. This is my time to try to find a way to get help for myself and my past so i can deal with her and any relationship that i venture into.It's not an easy thing to deal with and if anyone has any suggestions, PLEASE HELP

I am the same way..I am also seekin help with these problems. when i do get the help i need i will be happy to share with you..till then try to keep your headup high,and remeber your not alone. I know there are many people going through the same thing, and just dont wanna face that they need help. Think of it this way you know you have a problem and your willing to get help with it. Take care best wishies.

And i thought i was alone with all these feelings of insecurities..i think the notion of losing my g/f because of it was enough reason for me to say its time i get a cap on this thing..also i had to do it for myself..all relationships has its ups and downs.we all have our baggage from past ones..but i think bringing it into a new one is never good for both parties involved...its like a CANCER..once infested it takes over...knowing you've got a problem is the first step to recovery..finding the help you need is an even more important step to being healed....stay strong...we're all here to help each other...have a nice day...

I really know where your coming from! I just wish their was a magic pill to fix it! I am with my husband after several breakups from things that he has done in the past. I though that where we were apart for a few years that maybe we could work past it. We have been back together for 4 years now and it has been hell. But it's only getting worse as time goes by not better. I don't even know where to turn...I'm on a constant rollercoster ride! I don't know if he is doing the things that he used to do. But I feel that he is. And their is no trust between us. But I fear being alone.

Dear MorningSadnes:
re: Don't destroy my relationship with the most amazing guy in the world. It isnt fair that i have to keep dealing with this bullshit even though i DONT EVEN HAVE A REASON!.
>>> There is ALWAYS a reason........even if it's buried in your memory or past!

Im so tired of this stress and putting myself through all of this for no reason. I guess im just scared of bad things happening even though i know deep down inside it wont. Im so confused at myself. but not at my relationship, everything is my fault. why do i have to put others through my bagage and BULLSHIT.
>>> Until the bullshit is fixed, healed and resolved, you won't be able to not put them through it - in my experience.

Just because people fucked me over in the past.
>>> And that's a good place to start seeing why you are insecure and how to UNDO it.

Guys and girls, im so sick of thinking its always going to be that way.SO what if someones prettier than me, its life, it happens, and thats the way it is.
>>> How do you know someone is 'prettier' than you???

I Guess that doesnt mean shit. Looks are mostly made up by most girls anyways, i dont understand why im so concerned with it, god., why cant i just let it go. I mean geez.
>>> Ask your self where and how you first got these ideas, fears, beliefs in your early childhood?

I have the most amazing person i would have never thought ive had, and here i am complaining about every little thing. Why dont i just shut the fuck up. I think itd be much easier, rather than running around in circles all the damn time. one minuet feeling fine and the next LIKE SHIT, because i cant let it go. Its so rediculous, i want it out of my mind. Let me think. Hmm what has this person done to me, to make me believe that hes going to do me wrong....NOTHING. All hes done for me is love me and put up with me. Yeah he's raised his voice at me, but thats it, or maybe ignored me sometimes, but its not bad as i make out to be. I make a big deal out of everything. FOR NO REASON. I never did have a reason, and probably never will have a reason to be this insecure.
>>> There is ALWAYS a reason - look back into your earliest childhood!

It's so stupid, most people dont worry about the things i am worried about right now.
>>> LOL, most people have learned how to hide their 'issues' and put on a convincing MASK for us to admire and mistake for 'sanity'.

Like why caint i just enjoy, my time with him, for like what ever.and get over EVERYTHING that eats me up inside. I feel like im cheating him out of being happy, for my own insecuries. I hate myself for it.
>>> Enough to go for HELP? I mean beyond this little, limited forum?


I mean, i know i mean a lot to him, i can tell, and he acts like it. Im just being the difficult one. Im still afraid to get to close to him,but at the same time im also afraid to be away from him for a damn WEEK. Idk whats worse, being scared of getting close to him, or leaving him for a week.
>>> Study up on Codependency issues (google it) & you may get some insights about that behavior. It's curable!

My thoughts are kind of jumbled. I just need to STOP.
God, yes hes amazing.
Where else do you find a sweet guy like him that actually puts up with your bullshit...NO WHERE. Because there is no one else like him. why would he do all this for me if he didnt love me? well he WOULDNT.
>>> OK you've vented - now - what's your plan for fixing this situation before you blow him away with all your issues?
Perhaps you could start here:
http://www.dailystrength.org/health_blogs/julie-cohen/article/don-t-let-your-insecurities-ruin-your-relationship

http://www.dating-advice-coach.info/get_rid_of_jealousy_to_enjoy_a_threesome.htm

Oh, and there are some treatment links & even other groups at this site ......

good luck
Jim