Jealousy Support Group
Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...
Hi everyone,
I have a jealousy issue based on close to nothing, but it's eating away at me again! Last summer my SO started a new job. He has one female coworker around his age. His brother also works there and is good friends with that female, so naturally my SO became friends with her too. He would mention her here and there just like he'd mention his other coworkers but for some reason it would really bother me! I even looked her up on Facebook and she's kind of pretty, not prettier than me or anything, but then my jealousy would tell me maybe she's way cooler or funnier than me! The only time they ever hung out was in a group when his brother invited him out once. But I got jealous about that, and then again when I found out she paid him to Photoshop her ex out of some family photos (he's a graphic designer). All of this stuff is reasonable but my jealousy is out of control just because I viewed her as a threat from the start. Back then I had low self esteem but I've come a looong way. Yet this sticks with me.
It's so stupid but I get such anxiety even thinking about them at work because my anxious mind exaggerates and wonders if she flirts with him or anything like that. I even talked to SO and told him I know my jealousy is completely unwarranted. He said he didn't even know it was a situation. He even described her as a "thicker girl" (whereas I'm very petite and he likes that), showed me a picture of her and simply said "but yeah she's cool". I think if there was anything to hide, he wouldn't be so transparent. So this is 100% unwarranted jealousy rearing its ugly head.
He is so attracted to me it's ridiculous. He has always said no other girl can compare but I still seem to want him to not think any other girl is cool. I have always worried about other girls developing crushes on him...especially now that this coworker is single. He's a very funny, charismatic guy. This jealousy isn't a constant thing but it suddenly appeared again and I'm sick of it already.
Anyway...with no judgement...how do I kick this pointless jealousy? I want to avoid looking to him for reassurance.
I have a jealousy issue based on close to nothing, but it's eating away at me again! Last summer my SO started a new job. He has one female coworker around his age. His brother also works there and is good friends with that female, so naturally my SO became friends with her too. He would mention her here and there just like he'd mention his other coworkers but for some reason it would really bother me! I even looked her up on Facebook and she's kind of pretty, not prettier than me or anything, but then my jealousy would tell me maybe she's way cooler or funnier than me! The only time they ever hung out was in a group when his brother invited him out once. But I got jealous about that, and then again when I found out she paid him to Photoshop her ex out of some family photos (he's a graphic designer). All of this stuff is reasonable but my jealousy is out of control just because I viewed her as a threat from the start. Back then I had low self esteem but I've come a looong way. Yet this sticks with me.
It's so stupid but I get such anxiety even thinking about them at work because my anxious mind exaggerates and wonders if she flirts with him or anything like that. I even talked to SO and told him I know my jealousy is completely unwarranted. He said he didn't even know it was a situation. He even described her as a "thicker girl" (whereas I'm very petite and he likes that), showed me a picture of her and simply said "but yeah she's cool". I think if there was anything to hide, he wouldn't be so transparent. So this is 100% unwarranted jealousy rearing its ugly head.
He is so attracted to me it's ridiculous. He has always said no other girl can compare but I still seem to want him to not think any other girl is cool. I have always worried about other girls developing crushes on him...especially now that this coworker is single. He's a very funny, charismatic guy. This jealousy isn't a constant thing but it suddenly appeared again and I'm sick of it already.
Anyway...with no judgement...how do I kick this pointless jealousy? I want to avoid looking to him for reassurance.
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89FToday it is again another hot day but cooler then yesterday. Since this is August it is to be expected in my neck of the woods. All the grass is yellow and flowers are starting to go to seed. I need to water my garden but this time of the year I'm so over it, which is weird because all my plants have their fruit or veggies.Sandra, this time of year reminds me of your Dad and his toms. We'd...
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As you say your jealousy isn't constant, its perfectly normal for a person to get a little insecure now and again, its when it takes over and spirals out of control and you turn into some jealousy control freak, checking and accusing etc.
If we didn't care, didn't fear, we wouldn't be human and have these little jealous moments.
Just joined this group.I am experiencing similar extreme jealous feelings that get me worked up for nothing. I met someone a few months ago and only recently have become a an exclusive couple.She has been single for a long time and is beautiful and has several men friends who call her up.One ,in particular that she met on a dating site around the same time as me,a little sooner,would text and chat back and forth as he lives far away.I told her of my predisposition to jealousy and that I was uncomfortable with her having all these other men in her life if she wanted to be with me .SHe took time and thought about it and decided to tell these other guys that she now has a boyfriend and would concentrating on that now.Tonight,she was sharing with me on the phone her day and that she was crying with...and stopped mid-sentence.I let it go but my mind goes back to that guy as she said they had both lost a loved one( i recently had as well)ALso,they had other things in common.I know I'm just jumping to conclusions and that's my jealous insecurity coming up,But I don't like feeling so anxious and upset and don't know how to deal with this