Thank everyone for your responses.
Hypnos, I already tried working full time at Accounting company when I already was not sleeping well. It did not help me, on the opposite it made everything worse. I worked for 9 months and quite because I was sleeping 0-3 hr at night. This is a problem...it does not matter how much my body and mind are exhausted, I can not sleep normally. Then I tried to work as a Tax Preparer, part time...it was also so tough that I could not wait to the end of the season. I dream to work, if I could...I am sure I would resolve the situation. Thank you for the book you suggested, already started reading it.

yea, Doctors and Sleep nuts won't tell you the truth. I wonder if they even know the truth. I'll tell you the truth whether you believe me or not.

First off, I am only familiar with Benadryl, Trazodone and Xanax. I can't speak of the other two since I never tried them.

Benadryl's side-effect is drowsiness. It doesn't induce sleep.
Trazodone is an anti-depressant. The side-effect is also drowsiness.
Xanax is an anti-anxiety. It forces your already stressed brain to pump out more GABA. The theory is that if you're relaxed, you can sleep.

Let's just put another given out there. You said things did work for you and then they stopped working.

With your story and what you've been taking, I can say with a lot of confidence that your issue is stress. Not just any old stress but a prolonged and sustained level of stress.

You see, your brain and your body is not stupid. They can only take so much before they give up on you. It is at this point, that you have to make a decision.

#1 - come to the conclusion that you better de-stress and take care of your brain and your body and naturally slow down and recover
#2 - say, the hell with it, just take medication to force your brain and your body to just keep on going

It looks like you went with #2. Well, at one point or another, your brain/body got tricked in to going and going and then even though you keep taking meds (I call them drugs), your brain and body says, "Yea, we here you drugs but, there's just nothing left." and you get the sensation that the drugs have stopped working (NO, the drugs did not stop working. You ran out of fuel)

So, why not stop taking drugs (be very careful here, some drugs are not forgiving and you'll have to tell your doctor to help you stop taking it) and naturally recover.

Keep in mind that it took you a VERY long time to get in to this state. It is not going to reverse itself in a day or a week or a month, not even a year. Heck, like I was telling Biatta, it took me well over 5 years to recover and I didn't do it alone.

First step though is to get off of the drugs!
Second step is to put that fuel back in to your system and start rebuilding your reservoirs of nutrition.

It totally sucked for me. It was like relearning to sleep all over again. I did it and I believe anyone who is in that situation can too.

So, what are the fuel you are lacking?
Xanax forces Gaba. To get Gaba, you need L-Glutamin + vitamin b complex + magnesium + zinc + calcium
Trazodone forces serotonine. To get serotonin, you need 5HTP + vitamin C + vitamin b complex + inositol

More is not better and don't mix with medication. It would be like squirting gasoline on a fire. Lastly, there are a ton of people who are familiar with this. You just have to ask the right question. You see, you've been asking about sleep. You really should be asking them about how you can de-stress and re-energize. Also be careful about re-energizingl those people might not be aware that your fuel level is very low, so take it easy.

Once you figure that out, the rest is down-hill.

It's amazing, I've done quite a bit of research this past week, doctors are aware many of these drugs are only meant for short term use, yet they prescribe them month after month, year after year. They're also aware that they cut your life short, yet they have no problem telling you that you need them, you can't live without them in fact. Keep in mind that I'm referring to the doctors I've come across, my goal now is to find one who's willing to help me get off these medications. I agree 100 percent with everything you said Bruticus, it seems a lot more clear after yet another night of waiting 3 hours before I fall asleep.

I've tried to withdrawal from benzodiazepines before, it's brutal, at least it was for me. I see my nurse practitioner in a couple weeks, either she'll help me taper off my meds or I'll do it on my own. Will start with the benzos since they're the toughest.

As for de-stressing, it's not going to be an easy task at this point as my personal life is in pretty bad shape but I'm at the end of my rope, I don't believe anything good can come from continuing on this medication regiment. Can definitely start on the vitamin regiment though, thanks so much for your words of wisdom Bruticus. I really needed to hear that from someone, there are a lot of people who continue to swear by their medications well after they have run out of fuel, as you put it. Adrenal fatigue is also something I'm looking into, these are areas that doctors won't touch on.

Anyone have any experience dealing with holistic physicians?

Mzsuch, doctors prescribe medication for a long term because in general there is no remedy that cures insomnia at this current time. Behavioral and other approaches are great, however it takes months or years for them to bring any positive changes. So, how can you survive all this time? If you have full time job, or kids to take care of can you function on 0 or little sleep night after night? Not, no one can. This is why doctors prefer to give your drugs instead of letting you got totally emotionally and physically exhausted. They have no choice and this is right. Why we all expect doctors to cure us for everything. Practically, to recover from insomnia using non drug methods, one should live in an ideal environment and in favorable circumstances. This is a main problem. I know for sure if I could move out, exercise everyday, have my sleep not disturbed, have no financial worries, see my friends, work part time at a nice place, eat regularly a healthy food only...I would recover for sure over some period of time. Most of that is not realizable in my situation. And, this it truth for other people as well. In short, drugs are needed for you to survive in a current situation as there is no other choices.

mszach:
This site is designed for anxiety sufferers. However, it is essentially the same stuff you need to sleep better since you're taking Remeron, trazodone and xanax (which really are just an anti-anxiety pill)

Although, they are based in Australia. Read the content, watch the videos. See where it takes you.

I guess I should have made it clear, the drugs I was referring to were benzodiazepines. When these drugs were originally developed they were not intended to be used for more than two weeks. In my case, I think it would have done me a power of good to possibly suggest other methods initially as opposed to just throwing medications at me, especially drugs that cause dependency. For my part, I definitely regret not doing more research before I started taking Ativan back in 1999.

So what I said doesn't really apply to your medication or situation, I was just speaking about my situation.

Yes, benzos are designed as a relaxant aka anti-anxiety. I've been there. I was addicted at one time because I also didn't do my research.

I was determined to get off. As I said in my other post, I did get off but it was not easy.

I'm sure there is someone out there who can help you get off. Good luck to you.

Have you tried doxepin? I am taking that now along with klonopin and I have made significant improvements in my sleep, though I still struggle to fall asleep sometimes for a while but it eventually works. It is just an antidepressant and non habit forming. Just a suggestion. It has been a life saver for me after other things like ambien and lunesta stopped working. And I agree with you about the ativan. It is dangerously addictive. I take klonopin now but I am very careful to only take what is prescribed, but with the doxepin I never feel that need to take more klonopin. It is nice to see some new people in this group sharing their experiences, it helps me to not feel so alone in my struggles.

Hi Sadie, thanks for your feedback No, I have not heard of that, I'm looking at attempting to get off a couple different medications right now and possibly more later. I'm not sure I'd want to add anything else into the mix but I will admit, I'm amazed I haven't heard of it, I thought I'd seen them all! How is the klonopin working out for you? Some people tolerate it better than others, I've read some of your other posts and it seems like you're still having trouble :( Thanks, it's nice to be here and to have 6 or 7 different people give feedback!

Bruticus, I read your other post and commented on that. Those symptoms you described were classic withdrawal. I'm glad you were able to get off before your body and brain become too accustomed. If you're on them long enough, you can actually have seizures if you go cold turkey, rough. Thanks for all your help!

Honestly, I don't feel any effects from the klonopin anymore but it must do something. I know that I can feel withdrawal symptoms even if I just take it a couple hours later than usual. Hopefully I will get off it sometime in the near future, but I need to wait till I feel more stable with my sleep. It's great that you feel ready to try getting off some of your meds, that takes real strength. I hope someday I will get there too.

What kind of withdrawal symptoms Sadie? Just curious.....if you ever need to come off it, a slow taper over a 3+ month period works best.

Just anxiety, a feeling of restlessness. It's weird, hard to describe. I will look into lowering the dosage as soon as I feel like my sleep is more under control. I'm only on 2 mg, so it's not that much, at least.

mszach: hang in there, it's not impossible to get off. it'll just take time and help from someone who's an expert at those kind of addiction.

I almost laugh now when I think of all the "situations" I found my self in 16 years ago. As I sat atop the ash heap of my life, I got thrown in jail for driving around in a leg cast on a suspended drivers licence. Of course it was Friday and I had to stay there until Monday. Well, I started going into classic withdrawals from xanax and warned the sheriffs that it was going to get bad if they didnt get me a doctor.
(4- 2mg bars every 4 hrs for 2 years).
When the Doctor finally came, he confirmed my dosage and gave me 1 mg.
He impressed upon me that my Doctor was a quack and that the most important thing to do was to get off xanax immediately.

So, I cut those bars into 1/4's, then cut a bunch into 1/8's and those I cut into little chunks.
I then handed the whole bottle to a trusted neighbor and told them to hand them out to me at the agreed upon times and amounts.

It took over 4 months. Afterwards, I felt like I was made out of fragile glass. For at least a year, it felt like I had a huge gaping hole in my chest...all used up and empty inside. Shattered.
(like Frodo and the ring of power)
I am purposely leaving out great personal ruin during this time.

Now, I "plateau" on any drug, or they dont affect me at all.

So from my perspective, it is better to take the sleep when it finally comes...and be grateful for it.

Worrying about my sleep loss makes it soooo much worse.

Thanks Levicah, that sounds like an awful experience. I tried going off benzos a few years ago (cold turkey) and I lasted about 6 weeks, I only slept around 45 minutes a night during that time period. The list of withdrawal symptoms I have was unbelievably long. Anyway, next time I'll be smart enough to do a slow taper, that's really the only way to do it.

I don't think jail is an environment that's conducive to sleep either, I'm surprised the doc actually came and gave you Xanax. There was a story a few years back about a man dying from withdrawal here, he had a seizure. I spent a few nights in Hennepin County Jail here in Minneapolis when I was 23, not a pleasant weekend, this was for unpaid tickets and since it was a holiday weekend, couldn't reach anyone! lol