Insomnia Support Group

Insomnia is a symptom, rather than a disease, and is characterized by inadequate quantity or quality of sleep. People with insomnia complain of difficulty falling or staying asleep, which results in significant impairment of daytime functioning. Insomnia is categorized as transient (shorter than one week), short-term (one to three weeks) or chronic (longer than three...

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mszach 02/07/2015

I'm a 44 year old guy, have had insomnia since I was 28 or 29. Initially I attributed it to excessive alcohol use so I stopped drinking. Once upon a time, I could simply take one or two Benadryl and I could usually sleep for 8 hours. Now, here I am 15 years later and I am on Remeron, Trazodone, Klonopin and Xanax and I still have bouts of bad insomnia. I'm wondering if there's anyone else out there who's been on medication for a long time, has tried a myriad of different medications and nothing seems to work?? I do seem to have periods where I sleep reasonably well but lately, I've been taking at 4 or 5 am and am not able to get back to sleep. Sometimes I'll have the opposite problem where it takes a couple hours to fall asleep.

Of course, I've done Google searches trying to ascertain the cause of my problem, have come up with everything from depression/anxiety to sporadic fatal insomnia lol So, have given up trying to diagnose myself, doctors don't seem to be much good either. Had a sleep study in 2011 that was normal.

At any rate, was just wondering if anyone else out there has exhausted the cycle of prescribed sleep medications and nothing is working. I have also tried Seroquel and that caused breathing issues and significant weight gain, nasty drug IMO

Biatta 02/07/2015

Most of us in the same situation as you are. Sorry to hear about your problem. I think that taking a cocktail of medications is never a right approach. No wonder they do not work well. There is a book "Effortless sleep method." It explains a lot about insomnia. First thing to be changed is a lifestyle. I do recommend to everyone to take a break from job and to monitor yourself when you do not have that much stress. Other things to do: exercising regularly and healthy nutrition. The things is that most of people can not do what they have to do. For example, I have 3 y.o. toddler who wakes up -3-4 times a night. How in the world I can recover....I am getting more and more depressed, and hate my life already. The only medication that work for me compare to others is Seroquel(50), and I feel it looses effectiveness. May be I can sleep 3-4 hr on it. I started Zoloft recently as well. But frankly, I gave up looking for a cure. Surviving that's all.

mszach 02/07/2015

Thanks so much for the words of wisdom my friend, it's truly appreciated. I know these forums tend to run a little slow sometimes, it's nice to get a response when you really need it, not a good day today. I totally agree with what you're saying and honestly, I am not good about monitoring stress or nutrition :( I do exercise on a regular basis, probably would be in much worse shape sleep-wise if I didn't. Oh, it's tough (very tough) when you have a toddler, bless his/her heart, if they knew how much you needed sleep they'd probably give you a break lol I had a lot of weight gain on Seroquel but I don't think it would have been an issue if I were in my 20's. Surviving is right but it does help to have people who care enough to help others, thanks much and I hope tonight brings you some relief.

Hypnos07 02/07/2015

I also tried a number of meds that didn't help much. And like you, I did not have an underlying medical condition causing my insomnia.

For me what made it better was a combination of better sleep habits, and especially countering the negative sleep thoughts, which tend to fuel and perpetuate insomnia. It's those negative thoughts that tend to keep you up at night.

If you've got a clean bill of health, look to these nonmedical root sources. Consider CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) which gives you the tools and methods to address the nonmedical roots, without drugs. That what I used. Most people who use CBT methods get at least some degree of improvement, and many recover normal sleep.

And Biatta, best wishes to you in making your situation better. When you say you hate your life that concerns me. Have you ever read the book "Feeling Good: the new mood therapy" by David Burns MD?

This book is one of most popular self-help books of all time. You can buy it on Amazon for like $8. I'm reading it now, and am blown away by how good it is. He exposes the thought distortions that underlie depression. I wonder if this might really help you.

mszach 02/07/2015

Actually going to try CBT, that's my next step because I am not going to add additional meds, my goal is to eliminate them entirely (if possible) Thanks very much for the insight!

Biatta 02/07/2015

Thank you Hypnos! I will try to read the book. Yes, I got to the point I hate my life and not only because I can not recover from insomnia. Because I can not sleep well I have to stay married to a person who I hate and who I can not forgive for emotional wounds he caused and causes. I married a pure evil, an emotional sadist and I do not see a way out. I won't be able to survive on my own with tow kids. This is a reality. So, I hate my life as it is very torturing for me emotionally and physically.

Levicah 02/08/2015

Biatta...

Please stop letting the behaviors of others define you.

You are calling it a "reality" but you are not treating it as such.

Blaming your unhappiness on people, places and things, will never get you through this. There will never be any hope as long as you do this.

I do not pretend to know your circumstance, only the things that you write. But it hurts to see you wasting your life. Often times we cannot change people, places and things.

We can however, change how they affect us and how we respond to them. If you cant or wont leave...it is your only hope.

Determine to not let this harden your heart and imbitter you.

I didnt say it is easy. Take care, and forcefully chisel out a good day for you and your kids today.

Biatta 02/08/2015

Thank you Levicah! I understand your life approach, it is wise and right in general. I do personally believe that if you can not control or change other person's behavior, just adopt to it, build a barrier and do not let it affect your life. But, this is a widely spread theory created by psychologists. And, this theory does not work in all situation, it works in some. Practically your happiness greatly depends on how other people treat you and on what is your overall life philosophy is. People can be mean, so mean and heartless that it is beyond the human ability to tolerate it without emotional losses and trauma. Then, the best thing to do in such a situation is to leave those who causes you pain...easy and wise. What if you can not leave for financial reasons for example? In general, it is easy to say "do not blame others if you unhappy". But, it is almost impossible to stay happy when other person terrorizes your day by day, year after year. Do not get me wrong, I am a fighter and I pay back...it does not help.

Hypnos07 02/08/2015

Biatta, so sorry to hear this. No wonder you aren't sleeping well!

Are you being physically abused?

mszach 02/08/2015

Good piece of advice Levicah. I'm sorry about your situation Biatta and I agree, I don't think anyone in your situation would be able to relax let alone sleep. My best to you, I hope things change but that doesn't seem likely unless you remove yourself from the situation. Building a barrier and not letting it affect you doesn't seem to be working at this point. You come across as being extremely intelligent, I'm not sure why you don't believe you can make it on your own. I'm just a guy looking at a very small piece of a large puzzle and trying to see the whole picture, so take what is relevant (if anything) and leave the rest. I'm glad that you at least have Seroquel, I know people who take 100 milligrams a night, I suppose if 50 wasn't working anymore that might be the next step.

Biatta 02/08/2015

Thank you guys! Not, I am not abused physically. I am facing a rare type of long-term emotional abuse. Emotional abuse is hard to prove in court, especially when my spouse digging and collecting evidence against me. And, even if I can prove it in court it does not give me any benefits. I won't be able to do it on my own because the alimony would be around 1000$ a month, we have almost no assets to divide as my husband is just an engineer and he blows the money with the speed of lite. So, I wont have financial resources to survive on my own with kids. In my area I need at least 3000 a month minimum. And, with my insomnia I practically can not work. I only live in USA for 12 years, I worked 3 years only, then I went to school(BA in Accounting), other years I spend raising the kids while my husband could do his carrier. I have many years of gap between jobs. Even if I could sleep my chances to make decent money are almost zero, + after divorce I will loose health insurance. Not to mention, the divorce with my spouse would be a long-term battle. How in the world I could involve my self in that. I am so weak at this current moment that I choose not to get things even worse than now. Don't get me wrong please. I am not complaining...just an explanation of my situation.

imawesome611 02/08/2015

I recommend that you try Ambien.

bruticus 02/09/2015

I would rather die than take ambien again. I will never ever, ever, ever take ambien ever again and will never tell anyone to take it.

mszach 02/09/2015

I did take Ambien for several years until it lost it's effectiveness

Levicah 02/09/2015

Biatta I wish you well.

Your response is a very popular life view.

My point is, you only have two choices. To overcome, or to not overcome...or die trying.

Millions have rose above their circumstances. It's an ideal.
Not so much a life view. We rarely choose it until we have to.

Hypnos07 02/09/2015

What an excellent response from Levicah. Hat's off man. You nailed it.

Biatta, you can make it better. You have a lot going for you. You can either try to work it out with your husband (marriage counseling?) and if that doesn't work there are many resources to help you. Just break this down into small manageable steps and have a plan.

And if/when you do go to back to work I would not be at all surprised if all the stimulation and positive reinforcement of being productively employed tires you out so much that your sleep improves quickly.

Start with a plan. Just knowing you have a bit of control might help you feel better, and sleep a little better.

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