As if I'm not stressed out enough because I never am tired naturally and don't usually sleep unless I'm drugged, I have goten into several arguements with my mom because she says I need to get a job. I know that that is beyond the scope of this group, but I feel like that is putting even more stress on me. I think I am anxious about looking for a job because it is always so hard for me to keep and get a job. Several jobs have not worked for me and I am worried about losing another job. Even most jobs that I have managed to keep, I've struggled with and I think I'm to the point where I just expect to struggle with any job I have. I know that the fast paced jobs are not for me and I don't even know where to begin looking for a job. I was going through the same thing when I was wide awake all the time suddenly. I had no money and I still don't have any money. I was looking for a job and wasn't getting even any interviews. The job I had didn't ever have any work for me anymore and another job that I got never had any work for me. My dad was also on me constantly about having no job and having no money. At this point in my life I am completely broke, have no job, don't think I will ever be able to support myself, am lonely, feel wide awake constantly,don't won't to mess up on another job,etc. The only thing I can even begin to think of that is keeping me wide awake is stress and anxiety. I believe the stress of knowing that I'm lonely, having such a hard time always keeping and getting a job, having no money, etc is perhaps keeping me wide awake. I was extremely worried and stressed out about those issues when this all started. Being wide awake just makes things even more stressful, in my opinion. I just don't know what to do anymore. I had a job briefly after this had all started and I still never got tired naturally so I don't know if having a job is going to make me regain that what should be natural ability. That was just another job that didn't work out. I just don't want to lose yet another job. Even after I stay up allnight anymore I just take the pills without trying to sleep becasue of course I'm extremely anxious and wide awake. It is hard to lay down and relax when I feel so anxious and wide awake, although I did lay down some today, although I shouldn't have. I was so hot that I layed down with the ceiling fan blowing on me and it really felt good. The second time, although I didn't really feel tired, of course, I think I was starting to doze because I had all of these random thoughts in my head. The thoughts made sense, but they had nothing to do with my life. They might have been even dreamlike. I might have been sort of seeing them in a dreamlike sequence. The last time after I had stayed up allnight, I was laying on the couch briefly and I didn't really feel tired,of course,but I felt kind of differant than I usually do. I don't know how to describe it. I obviously don't know what to do at this point in my life. I think I'm scared to death of losing another job that is always so hard to get, being able to ever support myself, being wide awake and never regaining the ability to feel tired when I should be again,etc. I just don't know what to do anymore, but know that I don't want to live the rest of my life wide awake,etc, but am worried that I have no choice but to be wide awake. I'm worried that I'll always be so wide awake. I feel like I'm a freak and abnormal because I'm so wide awake, but my mom says it's not my fault. Staying up allnight doesn't even begin to phase me. I could probably stay up for days and not even crash.