Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
So, my husband has now met his mistress in Singapore. He was in Berlin and planned to take her but I told him that if he did, then there would never be a chance for us to get together again, so he went alone.
He has been sending me text messages daily telling me that he was missing me and that I should have gone with him as we could have turned things around over there, and how he had to come home from the gala ball early as he missed me too much, and that Europe had good memories of us. Yesterday he left a voice message on my phone telling me he was interested in getting back together. And a text later on telling me it had been good for him to go away alone as it had made him realise that the grass was not always greener on the other side.
I have been in his life for 26 years, what woman would not believe in those things? If he says them, it is not a mistake on my part to believe them surely, it is a mistake on his part to say them at all if he did not mean them to be genuine.
I came across his revised travel itinerary today and see he was not spending another week in Germany, but rather going to Singapore for a week before coming home. Bells rang. I sent him a text and asked if he was taking her.
His reply - via Text "yep. Will spend time and see what happens. Hopefully it will lead to final decision and a commitment from me to our future". So, he is saying he needed to take her to Singapore to screw her all week so that he could decide whether or not to come back home to me after two years of hell.
And he has been promising me the world almost daily for two years, and although I try not to believe him, a part of me does, and I get beat up and let down each time I discover he is not genuine.
He says it is because he loves both of us. He is afraid to leave me as he has security there, and he does not have it with her. If he is by himself he sees himself as a failure.
I know I am better off out of this, and that I am like that person that keeps getting beaten up by the clown, as I am allowing him to do it by believing in him.
I have told him never to contact me again this time so that should take away his 'carrot dangling', but I am struggling to cope with the idea that the two of them are over there, in the place where he first proposed to me. They are together, and next week they are coming home and will continue that relationship under my nose in this small town.
I have enormous support and respect here, he does not. I know it will be hard for him, but I am much more sensitive to the whole matter than he is and I am struggling.
Tomorrow I go away for 4 days with my teenage kids, so that will be good. but how do I cope with him living with his slut in close proximity? Should I run?
He has been sending me text messages daily telling me that he was missing me and that I should have gone with him as we could have turned things around over there, and how he had to come home from the gala ball early as he missed me too much, and that Europe had good memories of us. Yesterday he left a voice message on my phone telling me he was interested in getting back together. And a text later on telling me it had been good for him to go away alone as it had made him realise that the grass was not always greener on the other side.
I have been in his life for 26 years, what woman would not believe in those things? If he says them, it is not a mistake on my part to believe them surely, it is a mistake on his part to say them at all if he did not mean them to be genuine.
I came across his revised travel itinerary today and see he was not spending another week in Germany, but rather going to Singapore for a week before coming home. Bells rang. I sent him a text and asked if he was taking her.
His reply - via Text "yep. Will spend time and see what happens. Hopefully it will lead to final decision and a commitment from me to our future". So, he is saying he needed to take her to Singapore to screw her all week so that he could decide whether or not to come back home to me after two years of hell.
And he has been promising me the world almost daily for two years, and although I try not to believe him, a part of me does, and I get beat up and let down each time I discover he is not genuine.
He says it is because he loves both of us. He is afraid to leave me as he has security there, and he does not have it with her. If he is by himself he sees himself as a failure.
I know I am better off out of this, and that I am like that person that keeps getting beaten up by the clown, as I am allowing him to do it by believing in him.
I have told him never to contact me again this time so that should take away his 'carrot dangling', but I am struggling to cope with the idea that the two of them are over there, in the place where he first proposed to me. They are together, and next week they are coming home and will continue that relationship under my nose in this small town.
I have enormous support and respect here, he does not. I know it will be hard for him, but I am much more sensitive to the whole matter than he is and I am struggling.
Tomorrow I go away for 4 days with my teenage kids, so that will be good. but how do I cope with him living with his slut in close proximity? Should I run?
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
Apparently these days, a regular divorce cannot afford blame so no one can get more than the other for one reason or another. I have told my solicitor though, that if there is a problem with settlement and I feel I am being shortchanged, - and I will go for the lot - then I will consider pursuing a personal case against him, or them or both along the lines of psychological abuse. For that is indeed what it has been.
To this moment, I have a voice mail on my phone sent June 30 which says "I love you. I am married to you. If you want to move on, then ok, but you told me that I should take this time away in Berlin to work out what I want, to be alone and to make my decision. I would like to get back with you."
I kept it because if I play it to my friends they can see by the tone of his 'genuine' voice, why I get sucked in by him so many times and why I have gone back to him on his promises so many times. He said that to me on June 30 but all the while had his slut booked to meet him in Singapore that very night. He had booked it all the day before.
Oh, and of course, he has her there so that he can hopefully make a decision so that he can move on to committing to a future with me..........
Ridiculous how some men think. I dont know how he has got this way. He never used to be like that. I can only presume since he has pursued the deceptive relationship, he has given himself the luxury of that sort of behavior.
Thanks for the support. I need it today as I am feeling down. Beats me why after all this, I miss him and what he did have once.
I would say cut your losses, and his sorry behind out of your life.. you deserve better!! We all do.
As far as running.. no stay there and walk with your head held high.. knowing you did nothing wrong.. while he has to walk around everyone that knows you both knowing he did it all, and he has to live with that shame. The relationship with this slut wont work out in the end, she slept with a married man.. I am sure it wasnt the first time she did or she wouldnt have been ok with it.
Females like that make me so sick, and mad. They know these men are married, and yet they think it is ok to sleep with them, desroying not only the marriage but the lives of any children involved. In the case of my ex.. she had kids too, and she exposed them to her sleeping with my husband(heck even that word makes me want to cringe) with them in the house... having him around them... not only does that make her a slut, but what kind of mother is she. Ok, now I am pissed again.. lol
Yes, I need to cut my losses. I get a bit overwhelmed at it all and have to just do one thing at a time. I looked a photos today and all our history and just sobbed and sobbed about having to throw them away.
I will hold my head high. I think I have been a bit lost in my grief over the last week trying to cope with him and her in Singapore, it has been horrific.
When they get back next week, then see how they cope. I will not run away. I will sit in the background as the threat to her relationship to my husband as she was to me. She knows he still loves me and I will just sit quietly and see what he does. If he contacts me, then I will see how she copes when she is supposed to be in a relationship with him and he has another!
I have to reaffirm that to myself each day, and move forward to the world that holds my children, my wonderful and caring friends and those who have me in their lives because they find joy and happiness in me being there, rather than those who do not nurture my good qualities.
A hard journey but in the long run, the one that will give me the happiest heart.