Infidelity Support Group
Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...
So, my husband has now met his mistress in Singapore. He was in Berlin and planned to take her but I told him that if he did, then there would never be a chance for us to get together again, so he went alone.
He has been sending me text messages daily telling me that he was missing me and that I should have gone with him as we could have turned things around over there, and how he had to come home from the gala ball early as he missed me too much, and that Europe had good memories of us. Yesterday he left a voice message on my phone telling me he was interested in getting back together. And a text later on telling me it had been good for him to go away alone as it had made him realise that the grass was not always greener on the other side.
I have been in his life for 26 years, what woman would not believe in those things? If he says them, it is not a mistake on my part to believe them surely, it is a mistake on his part to say them at all if he did not mean them to be genuine.
I came across his revised travel itinerary today and see he was not spending another week in Germany, but rather going to Singapore for a week before coming home. Bells rang. I sent him a text and asked if he was taking her.
His reply - via Text "yep. Will spend time and see what happens. Hopefully it will lead to final decision and a commitment from me to our future". So, he is saying he needed to take her to Singapore to screw her all week so that he could decide whether or not to come back home to me after two years of hell.
And he has been promising me the world almost daily for two years, and although I try not to believe him, a part of me does, and I get beat up and let down each time I discover he is not genuine.
He says it is because he loves both of us. He is afraid to leave me as he has security there, and he does not have it with her. If he is by himself he sees himself as a failure.
I know I am better off out of this, and that I am like that person that keeps getting beaten up by the clown, as I am allowing him to do it by believing in him.
I have told him never to contact me again this time so that should take away his 'carrot dangling', but I am struggling to cope with the idea that the two of them are over there, in the place where he first proposed to me. They are together, and next week they are coming home and will continue that relationship under my nose in this small town.
I have enormous support and respect here, he does not. I know it will be hard for him, but I am much more sensitive to the whole matter than he is and I am struggling.
Tomorrow I go away for 4 days with my teenage kids, so that will be good. but how do I cope with him living with his slut in close proximity? Should I run?
He has been sending me text messages daily telling me that he was missing me and that I should have gone with him as we could have turned things around over there, and how he had to come home from the gala ball early as he missed me too much, and that Europe had good memories of us. Yesterday he left a voice message on my phone telling me he was interested in getting back together. And a text later on telling me it had been good for him to go away alone as it had made him realise that the grass was not always greener on the other side.
I have been in his life for 26 years, what woman would not believe in those things? If he says them, it is not a mistake on my part to believe them surely, it is a mistake on his part to say them at all if he did not mean them to be genuine.
I came across his revised travel itinerary today and see he was not spending another week in Germany, but rather going to Singapore for a week before coming home. Bells rang. I sent him a text and asked if he was taking her.
His reply - via Text "yep. Will spend time and see what happens. Hopefully it will lead to final decision and a commitment from me to our future". So, he is saying he needed to take her to Singapore to screw her all week so that he could decide whether or not to come back home to me after two years of hell.
And he has been promising me the world almost daily for two years, and although I try not to believe him, a part of me does, and I get beat up and let down each time I discover he is not genuine.
He says it is because he loves both of us. He is afraid to leave me as he has security there, and he does not have it with her. If he is by himself he sees himself as a failure.
I know I am better off out of this, and that I am like that person that keeps getting beaten up by the clown, as I am allowing him to do it by believing in him.
I have told him never to contact me again this time so that should take away his 'carrot dangling', but I am struggling to cope with the idea that the two of them are over there, in the place where he first proposed to me. They are together, and next week they are coming home and will continue that relationship under my nose in this small town.
I have enormous support and respect here, he does not. I know it will be hard for him, but I am much more sensitive to the whole matter than he is and I am struggling.
Tomorrow I go away for 4 days with my teenage kids, so that will be good. but how do I cope with him living with his slut in close proximity? Should I run?
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My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...
It is the terrible betrayal that I feel so much. How could he send me those messages last night when he already had changed his travel plans and was meeting her there today??? How does someone do that?
He has been cheating on you and telling you sweet things and you can GUARANTEE ( and know) he has been doing it to HER as well.
let the confused little guy struggle WITHOUT you. Do NOT accept or reply to his text messages, or phone call or anything.
Let him know that THIS time, YOU REALLY ARE sincere. Do NOT let him THINK that "this time since HE is being really sincere".... uh uh...
Now its your turn to show him that unlike HIM, you actually MEAN what you say.
One of two things will happen:
1.) He will say OH MY GOD, she is serious and remain with his slut ( and it wont work out)
2.) Or he will wake UP for GOOD, not stay with his slut and hurt for a while.
Either which way you look at it- he is going to have to face what he did, sooner or later.
Keep everything. Dont even delete your texts for now if you can help it. The man is flat out abusing you. Sue his ass for everything. Im glad you sent a letter off to the attorney.
Nothing gets the attention MORE of a person who believed you'd always be there for them, than realizing "WHAT? SHES NOT THERE FOR ME ANYMORE?"
And yes, his teenage children hate him. They have no respect for him and wont even speak to them. He is of the naive opinion that it will change with time, and even from time to time has said "oh, well, they hate me, I dont care". I know that deep down he does care, and to lose the respect of his children will be tragic for him. He made his choice, I guess they are lucky they have one parent that puts them first in their life.
He had opportunity to do this thing in a much more decent manner. I have never kept a noose around his neck. I kept telling him to go to her if she was so wonderful. But he always told me that he wanted me more. What a horrible, horrible thing to keep saying while making plans in the background to be with her. He just wanted to insure that he had all bases covered in case it did not work out with her.
I hope one day he finds out what real heartache is, and that he is eaten away inside on what he has done to me. I have always been honest and caring and guided him in his life to his success.
Better to sleep at night and keep your morals and values...
I read, many years ago in reader's digest magazine, that a lady in, hmm, NC i think, sue her husband for moral damage and the OW. Yes,to both of them! I don't know about laws and all that but I'm sure that if you have proof of all what your husband has sent you (email, call, text, etc) you can show the psychological damage both of them have done to you. Mainly your husband, GET everything, you helped him for 26 yrs, don't you think you deserve more than the crap he is giving you (all the sweet words are crap).
Damn, how can he tell you he is spending time with her so to make a decision? when in hell did this go so wrong that they have to "spend time" with the Other people so to decide if they can be faithful and commit to their spouses?
That is bullshit!
No, don't run! That is your life, your house, your kids, no no, hell no. He is the one who has to move and his slut as well.
Good thing you have a lawyer, and remember, if you can sue her for damaging your family, go for it. Your husband will be plain like where he started more than 26 years ago. Will she feel attracted to him? No, sluts don't look for love but for money and selfishness. They wouldn't take a man with no money, like us, who start building a family and support our spouses and then, after 26 years they want to take the fruits of our labor.
Anyway, my advice is STAY, FIGHT for you and your kids and CONTINUE with your life.
I hope you had a wonderful time with your kids.