Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

4,945 Members
18,074 Posts
0 Online
Relationships & Sexuality
/ Infidelity Support Group

Why am i getting Respect and Support?

RockNMetalChic
RockNMetalChic
all i want to know is why? after everything i did am i getting respect and support from the family of the man i cheated with? why don't they just tell it like it is and call me a horrible person? cause i feel like i am a horrible person... though i did learn a lesson and i will NEVER get involved with anyone who is married , engaged or in a relationship ever again! everyone is telling me its not completely my fault- so why do i feel like it is ? until lastnight i felt responsible for this man and what he did- he said he was gonna kill himself- now i'm just like ok go do it- cause he won't he's chicken- i feel bad for his wife- she left - but this isn't the first time and she'll be back......and why does she want to be with a cheater- i'm finally letting him go and moving forward and trying to do right- i'm doing a lot of soul searching lately ... but all i see when i look in the mirror is this ugly person- i totally disgust myself - and wanted everyone to know- i'm not proud in any way of what i did and i think i deserve to be bashed alittle- well ok a lot- i look at all of these post and i want to cry- i feel for all of you and i want to leave comments and offer my support- but i feel it won't be wanted- so well this is what i'm thiking about right now- beating myself up emotionally and for good reason...... so does anyone want to come shoot me in the head- please feel free to use this post to get out all ur anger and say what u will..... i think that is the only way i can help out- i'm venting and if u need to- well here is ur chance...let it out...
deleted_user
deleted_user
Don't feel bad about leaving posts in this community. I, myself, can say that I welcome hearing from both the cheated on and the cheaters. It gives me insight from the other side of the fence as well. I agree that you and the man are both just as responsible. AS long as you learned your lesson and don't do it again to anyone else, then eventually you need to forgive yourself
deleted_user
deleted_user
You did something wrong and hurtful. But, you must forgive yourself. It is so hard. My Dh often tells me that he feels horrible and that hr can't forgive himself for his actions. Find some peace. good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
RockN...everything in balance...and do NOT go back to the community that is satisfying their own selfish compulsion to be abusive, rude and insulting to another human being who is already in pain and isn't even the one who caused theirs. I mean c'mon...how twisted IS that? I realize that intense pain can drive people to do and say things that are inappropriate, non-productive and futile and they often regret it but there are some who simply cannot let a single opportunity pass to try and make the cheater feel they no longer have rights to feel pain, remorse, grief or experience even the slightest hint of healing and repair. These folks are generally off thier axis and are 'bent' on constantly reminding you of what you did to them...they become fixated on themselves...(sound self-centered?)...like I said...be 'healthy'...be 'balanced'...and be with people who will support you and help you heal...not condemn you and tear you down...after all, if you believe in God and heaven...HE will be your judge and HE will be more merciful than they will. In fact, I do believe in God and His Word...and I also believe He loves us all and wants to heal our pain regardless of having been the offender or the offeded. God Bless you...and heal you...He paid the price for both the sinner and...."the saint"
deleted_user
deleted_user
P.S. I got a little carried away there...I am not saying that infidelity is one of if not the most devastating things that can happen to a marriage/family...I want to be CLEAR on that. BUT...no one should shrivel up, die and become someone else's whipping boy as punishment...Jesus has been there, done that and as He said on the cross..."It is FINISHED!" Be Blessed
deleted_user
deleted_user
reading this brings tears to my eyes.... for two reasons.... 1) it is bringing up painful memories of the affair my husband had with a woman, because I think, at least in my case, I was upset towards the other woman because I felt like as women, we should stick together, and it hurt me immensely to have another woman take part in the worst event of my life.... 2) I makes me happy to at least know you feel remorse.... if the woman my husband had an affair with felt as you do, it would somewhat help me deal with the whole thing, so I really do commend you for seeing past the so-called "glamour" of being the other woman, and seeing the ugly reality of what the consequences of an affair are.

Ultimately, unless you were friends with the wife, her husband is the one who owes her something, not you. I guess we just feel like if there were not women for our husbands to go to, the problem of cheating would not exist.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Keep your chin up. I dont know what else to say, I am in your dark, sad boat of despair right now. I feel I am the lowest of beings on the earth and I want so badly for my actions to be undone, but I cannot change what I've done. Are you seeking any counselling for yourself?
deleted_user
deleted_user
All people make mistakes. Horrible people and good people. The difference is what a person does after realizing what they have done. You can't control him or his family. Only yourself.