Infidelity Support Group

Any relationship in which one partner engages willfully in sexual relations with another outside of the partnership is considered to have experienced infidelity. This breach of trust is often traumatizing for the faithful partner as well as the relationship, and support is often needed to heal emotionally and to decide whether or not the relationship should continue after...

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crazymoon5150 04/02/2008

How do you move past the wondering? like when your spouse has to work late, or come home late or take a litte to long at the store, sometimes I Think cell phones became enablers like Computers, I get so tired of wondering , waiting, I don't sleep all that much I find myself going through his cell phone I know his password for his voicemail, he has changed it several times I just recently got it, he thought I was sleeping when he entered it, now I am cagey wehn I check it I don't want hikm to change it again, see this is what i am talking about, when do those feelings go away?

deleted_user 04/02/2008

The wondering will decrease when he answers all of your questions, hands over all of his passwords, doesn't change them, and when his life is an open book to you. When I found out about my wife's affair, I let her no that her life was now an open book. I told her that I trust her less now than I did the first day I met her. Everything is suspect and this is something she has come to accept. It is not a punitive thing, it has to do with rebuilding trust.

I also made a list of 14 things my wife will need to do to rebuild trust. I'm happy to send you the list if you want it.

crazymoon5150 04/02/2008

that would be great

deleted_user 04/02/2008

Can you send me the list to?

deleted_user 04/02/2008

I'd love to see the list too. Could you send it to me also, or just post it. Thanks

deleted_user 04/02/2008

never

deleted_user 04/02/2008

I'd love to see the list too.

pillar 04/02/2008

I'd like to see the list too.
Make a public post.

somefool 04/02/2008

Gotta go with Vicki on this one. Never is your answer.

deleted_user 04/02/2008

crazymoon, I'm with you took. I"m always checking his email, though he knows I do it so i'm sure he won't give it out, he just have a work one though that I can't acess , I always check him cell phone. it's almost like I want to find somehting. When I find numbers I don't know I google them, only to find out it work stuff which is true. I don't know if we will ever stop wondering. I'm hoping I'm wrong, I don't want to wonder for the rest of my life but I don't know.

deleted_user 04/03/2008

I feel like I am obsessing; I want to know where she is who she's with, what's she's thinking. I'm like a detective looking for the smoking gun (glad I haven't found anything so far, apart from OM's phone number in back of address book, but that could be a left over from before we ended it.)

deleted_user 04/03/2008

I would like this list too...Did you post it publicly or could you sent it to me? Thanks...

deleted_user 04/03/2008

Please share the list! I am interested to see what you have on there...

deleted_user 04/03/2008

Im trying to figure that out too cause Im just as compulsive I have spyware on the computers and the same thing I check the phone logs religiously. I decided a few days ago I am going to stop and start to concentrate on getting my life together. Life's too short to live this way and besides my H is acting like nothing ever happened. At times, I dont even think he feels sorry anymore.Have you thought about getting your life in order and also taking time to concentrate on your healing?

deleted_user 04/03/2008

I can't help myself but check phone, email, search her draws, etc. I have forgiven her, and am almost certain she is not up to anything (well nothing she can do anything about, he is about 4000kms away), and I know I am actually reopening my OWN wounds.

But still I do it. I spent hours yesterday researching computer spyware.

I wish I hadn't confronted her so early and had kept all the emails between them.

So 7 wks on I still haven't got close to letting it go.

deleted_user 04/03/2008

My husband and I are doing really good, after sending him to jail and him not understanding if I loved him how could I do that, or I didn't love him enough. He felt betrayed. When I told him those had been the same questions I asked him about his affairs, it hit him how I was feeling and as soon as I understood he knew that, I was able to let my anger go towards him. But I don't know how long it will be until I trust him again, and wondering what he's doing and who he's talking to is a trust issue. He destroyed that along with everything else. It took me 9 months nearly to the day and a major up roar in order for me to lose the anger... I hope the trust doesn't take that long, but I think it will never come back. I hope it does.

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